Hair and Dead People
Okay, so this is really, really silly, but I keep thinking about cutting my hair. I remember how much I loved my hair being just long enough to run your fingers through it, at the point where you could mess it up, but if you just shook your head a bit, it would fix itself. It pisses me off to have to wash all this hair, and comb it and brush it, and it's always in my face. Not to mention, it gets EVERYWHERE because I shed like a dog.
But when Nate was in a coma, and this is the really silly part; when Nate was lying there dying, I told him, "Hey, Nate, remember how you were always wanting me to grow my hair out? Well, I'll do it. I'll do it for you, man." I promised him. Even if he couldn't hear me, even if he couldn't understand, I promised him I would do it.
So now I feel like a complete asshole for wanting to cut my hair. It's like, I want to do something for him, to remember him, something to dedicate to him. And here I am looking at my scissors like the cute little puppy at the pound that your parents won't let you take home with you.
But the crazy thing is, to keep from cutting my hair, I start thinking about how much I hate having it not do what I want when it's short because I slept on it wrong, and oh shit, now I have a fucking cowlick, gee thanks. Not to mention the bald spot on the back of my head that keeps me from buzzing it completely. Or how when it gets to one certain length, it is impossible to deal with. Or how itchy really short hair is behind your ear. Don't even get me started on having it done at a barber's and having your neck shaved. *shudder*
*headdesk* And it's stupid, I know it is. But I'm really lost now, and I don't know what to do.
But when Nate was in a coma, and this is the really silly part; when Nate was lying there dying, I told him, "Hey, Nate, remember how you were always wanting me to grow my hair out? Well, I'll do it. I'll do it for you, man." I promised him. Even if he couldn't hear me, even if he couldn't understand, I promised him I would do it.
So now I feel like a complete asshole for wanting to cut my hair. It's like, I want to do something for him, to remember him, something to dedicate to him. And here I am looking at my scissors like the cute little puppy at the pound that your parents won't let you take home with you.
But the crazy thing is, to keep from cutting my hair, I start thinking about how much I hate having it not do what I want when it's short because I slept on it wrong, and oh shit, now I have a fucking cowlick, gee thanks. Not to mention the bald spot on the back of my head that keeps me from buzzing it completely. Or how when it gets to one certain length, it is impossible to deal with. Or how itchy really short hair is behind your ear. Don't even get me started on having it done at a barber's and having your neck shaved. *shudder*
*headdesk* And it's stupid, I know it is. But I'm really lost now, and I don't know what to do.