I still think Jeff would be a cuter kitten but I may be biased

[meiface]

So sometimes things happen in chat, by which I mean...every time I chat with either swingingstars or forochel, our brains go off in ridiculous directions and we end up chatficcing at each other.

Two sort of stories, cleaned up a little from chat to be readable...ish. I think.

Comments

[forochel]

it's really weird to have a vibrating cat on your head

almost 24 hours later and I'm still sort of amazed at the sentences my brain comes up with at 4am.

jeff makes the best halloween cat; he's midnight black and clear green eyes. "kitty!" parker crows, when eric comes home with jeff on his shoulder, tail curled round his neck. "up! up!"

eric bends down to pick parker up, and he says "you better not claw my kid," to jeff. jeff makes a weird whiffing noise, like he's scoffing at eric. jeff as a cat is way bitchier than jeff as a human. parker goes quiet when his eyes meet jeff's, and he cautiously puts a hand out to stroke jeff's tiny cat head. jeff purrs and nudges his head further into parker's pudgy palm. parker giggles, and jeff purrs even harder. eric kind of needs to sit down before he melts from all the adorable going on right next to his neck.

(THERE I WROTE YOU JEFF AS A KITTYCAT FIC)

[meiface]

alskdjflsdjfksjlgk

there is kitten jeff here!

BUT THIS HAS PARKER OH MY GOD /EXPLODES

CAN I HAVE A JEFF CAT FOR MY HEAD? :< omgggg.

[forochel]

OKAY SO WHILE WE''RE TALKING ABOUT CAT FIC

FOOTBALL DIVERSION!! CESC IS A CAT FIC (I secretly have, like, all the feelings about this fic and how Cesc is infantalised in a lot of football fic in general BUT ANYWAY BASICALLY THIS THING IS CRACKED OUT AND THE BEST THING EVER

[meiface]

I...don't read for football... (said she who once wrote fic for football).

YES YES MORE KITTEN JEFF ALL THE TIME. EEEEEE. THEY ARE THE CUTEST, SO CUTE SO CUTE.

...I guess this is gen. /o\

[forochel]

>:

hahaha yeah, sorry; you know my feelings about slashing married men with kids!

"this kitten is jeff skinner," tanya says flatly. she picks jeff up by the scruff of his neck and peers at him. jeff stays obediently quiet, the fucker; if eric had tried to do that he'd have had his eyes scratched out. "okay, I guess stranger things have happened."

"like what?"

"well," tanya pauses, and then she smiles mischievously. "I did marry you."

jeff chooses this moment to sneeze, but it sounds more like he's giggling. eric's life sucks. tanya coos at jeff and sets him back down on the floor. "aren't you a sweetie? well I suppose you are normally anyway."

parker is horribly confused after jeff turns back into a human, during practice.

"kitty?" he asks eric sadly that night. eric knew he should've just told parker the truth, though tanya said that would've been a PR nightmare.

so basically that's how the staal household acquires a pet cat.

[meiface]

awwwwwwwwww. and also Parker gets really attached to Jeff-the-human and clings to his hand or leg a lot and Eric sort of shrugs helplessly at Jeff, apologetic, but Jeff just laughs and takes it good-naturedly and ends up at Eric's house more often than before, which Tanya doesn't mind because he's sweet-mannered and always smiling.

"If I were five years younger," she teases Eric.

"Oh my god, stop," he says, horrified, and then topples her onto their bed as she laughs.

[forochel]

\o/

YOU KNOW WHAT. YOU KNOW WHAT. YOU KNOW THOSE FICS WHERE KANER IS INEXPLICABLY SHARPY'S ROAD TRIP EXCEPTION? SKINNER CAN BE ERIC'S ROAD TRIP EXCEPTION.

[meiface]

UNLESS I KIDNAP HIM FIRST AND HAVE MY WICKED WAY WITH HIM

...um we can pretend I didn't say that if I need plausible deniability later on down the road. :D?

[forochel]

didn't say what? 8D

[meiface]

A+

Have a baby nomming a puppy as reward. Or inspiration.

[forochel]

*_____________________________________*