what a load of self satisfied smug and charmless tatter x
September 11, 2005
I have a Kat in my hotel room, I wish I could send you the photos I took on my cellphone, I spent 4 hrs manually zapping fleas on the bugger and fed him threw him in the bath and we’re like 95% flea free, now went to the super market but they didn’t have no stuff but raid so I sprayed the room with this pollutant spray killing anything that falls off him gonna get him wormed tomorrow at the pet store. then we got to find him a home. he shines right now. i call him CJ after the guy in GTA San Andreas. he’s on my mobile phone, plenty of photos, but this new one ain’t set up to send or retrieve photomessaging so I will have to update you with photos when I get back to London. On the way back from the internet cafe yesterday, there’s this kitten in the road, and I’m like. hey kat whssup? then I had to double take. that’s a small cat as cats go. it’s prolly like a couple months old max. so I’m like hey little fella, and I look about but no one is looking for this thing. so I stopped and turned round and said hey kat where’s your family, and he’s like I don’t know. then he wanders up to me and bang he’s in my scoop and I’m looking around I ask a few old ladies this your cat, a man this your… nothing, infact the languague barrier lifts with one old lady who speaks no english but I can tell she wishes me well infact every girl in town now notices I have a kitten and even though I have a skinhead and baggy pants on, the uniform of the criminal, I am now such a sweet boy with his kitten. I’m like no, you don’t understand this is not my kitten, this is God’s child I found in the street prolly belongs to some kid who is crying right now, I don’t want kat, even if I did want kat, I can’t have kat, he has no passport I have a dog who will eat Kat, the responsibility, I am a tourist I stay at Hilton this thing is not allowed in the Hilton, so I’m holding this little big prollem. I look at C.J he looks at me licking his fleabag paws. and says “so where we headed?”…..
we had a mishap on the carpet but I took the washing powder and cleaned up, with a flannel! I know but when you’re a man on location you make do with whatever you can.
He also had a little accident on the duvet which p###d me off coz that’s my bed but he’s like a baby but cat piss s lethal so I couldn’t tell reception I had kat in the room and I sure as hell wasn’t going to admit to peeing the bed, or sprinkling, what type of man sprinkles the bed? so I poured some coca cola on the sheets got some fresh ones and committed C.J to the bathroom for the night, where he screamed blue murder. You got to know that this cat lay asleep upside down in my lap for four hours being preened. at first he was pissed but as the itches grew less frequent he knew I was helping him out so. bonk lights out snoring feet in the air. we bedded him down in the bathroom, and C.J got lungs man I’m telling you all night he’s like “WoAh WOAH! PLEASE!”
he is now on my bed watching telly I am at the internet cafe again the funny thing is I confessed to reception, OK this guy stayed the night I deflead him and dewormed him so he’s clean…technically 65% lie there but we’ll de worm and deflea tomorrow when the store with the chemicals opens up. I got to find him a home is there like an RSPCA here or something? the girls at reception fall in love with him. he’s all fluffy coz I put him in a bath, I told them they’re like we can see, really this kat sparkles now. but he doesn’t want to hang out with them he wants to sit on my shoulder and stare and watch MTV in the room. So anyway she says you can keep him in your room no problem. we can get housekeeping to send something special up. A litter tray Hallelulah!!! That is so cool, now that only happens at really cool places, you know. So C.J and his remaining fleas are lounging on the covers taking calls, watching extreme sports and tomorrow he’s coming to work and we’re going to try and get him rehoused. he is such a dude, and he is very funny and likes to talk a lot cuddle and sleep, plus he follows me everywhere talking romanian, I’m like I live in london dude I have no idea what you’re on about, you can’t live with me we’ll find you someone. Blood and Chocolate is shooting here with Hugh Dancy some werewolf movie, and I told one of the actors yo you might inherit C.J if I can’t find him a home. I got 10 days. So does anyone know anyone in Bucharest that wants an actor’s Kat? please call the ##### Hilton in ##### they’ll put you through to my room and we’ll get you one Kat! XXXX Tommy
.......see the full thing with pictures here.
Yes, Tom Hardy is actually for trufax killing me in my soul and I would never have it any other way. WHAT WAS LIFE LIKE BEFORE HIM? I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER SUCH GLOOM. He is like the sunshine when the skies are gray, my heart, my fountain of joy, all I need in life for happiness, etc etc. One day science will link his existence with world peace, I swear to god, or at least alleviation of all things that trouble Mei.
ETA: PICS OF THARD AND CPINE TOGETHER ON SET ARE FINALLY OUT