better late then never...
Yeah so I know it has been a long time but I realized a few things. Over the last year I became a person I swore I would never ever be. I let someone completely treat me like shit and in the end I was still there. I know that everyone makes mistakes but I realized something if your a good person you just don’t do that sort of thing, if you love someone you don't hurt them like that, and you don’t lie to them for months on end and still continue to do so. I really don’t want anyone in my life like that and I am not going to be the type of person who lets some guy treat her like shit then just be like oh well its ok. I mean yeah I was mad but I don’t think I stayed mad long enough and really think now that I let the person off to easy. I know this may seem really odd seeing how this is over a year later, but guess what things don't always come to you right away sometimes you need to experience a few things before you can realize these things. And I guess I experienced what I needed to. I know he feels bad but I'm sorry it’s not enough, and I just have no desire to have someone like that in my life. There is reason people have said why you still talk to him... yeah now I get why they say those things. It may be a hard thing but I’m letting it him go completely. It's hard to do away with the person you loved but you know what I still feel as though he treats me like crap and why should I have to deal with it? I dealt with that enough. I know that I am going to meet someone who doesn’t lie to me, and who would never do things like that to me, as a friend or as more.
It's really crazy how sometimes you don’t realize these things for a long time but I guess I had a wake up call or something. I know I have told him its ok, but guess what it's not ok. And this is not just some rant, I’m seriously over it, and I am so mad at myself for letting someone treat me this way, a year ago I should have been like hey fuck you! I deserve better than this. Well I know I have said that but then I always ended up saying "its ok" but It's not and I don’t know if I will ever be able to have you in my life I honestly cant think of any reason to. It's not worth it. You say I want to be friend’s well maybe you should look up the meaning of friends. But guess what I don't even want that! I want nothing from you at all. and I know you don't care, but for once neither do I. and Just because I’m writing this doesn’t mean I’m only doing it out of anger, I wanted to write it so that every time I think of letting you in my life I can come back and read how I feel right now, and remember that I really don’t want you in it.
It's really crazy how sometimes you don’t realize these things for a long time but I guess I had a wake up call or something. I know I have told him its ok, but guess what it's not ok. And this is not just some rant, I’m seriously over it, and I am so mad at myself for letting someone treat me this way, a year ago I should have been like hey fuck you! I deserve better than this. Well I know I have said that but then I always ended up saying "its ok" but It's not and I don’t know if I will ever be able to have you in my life I honestly cant think of any reason to. It's not worth it. You say I want to be friend’s well maybe you should look up the meaning of friends. But guess what I don't even want that! I want nothing from you at all. and I know you don't care, but for once neither do I. and Just because I’m writing this doesn’t mean I’m only doing it out of anger, I wanted to write it so that every time I think of letting you in my life I can come back and read how I feel right now, and remember that I really don’t want you in it.