As is life.
So it's the first week of school and it's already killing me. I have so much work I can’t even wrap my head around it. But I am getting to read more books which I enjoy. I really love to learn and read and do all those things that dorks do. Like Kristen said "we are studious by day and alcholics by night." Well not exactly I am no where near an alcoholic, I just like to have fun with my friends a couple nights a week, and that I do!
When I'm not busy doing school work or whatever I am always thinking. I know I have finally made the right decision and I am so much happier but I can't help but miss certain things. Like when I get upset over life, I still want to run to him. But I don't and that’s good. I have a hard time separating all the good that happened in those three years, and the extremely awful things that happened in the end. I seriously feel like those are two different people and when I think of the one I get happy, and then when I think of the second I just get extremely angry. I don't know if its the fact that it is a the time of year that the bad happened that made me get so angry I just felt like I had these constant reminders and that’s why I chose to do what I am doing. I mean yeah the good times we had were probably some of the best times I ever had in my life, but the end was seriously the worst hell I was ever put through. I am not saying that I will never talk to him again or never have him in my life, but I will say I need a good few years to find my place in the world then maybe. And if I see him on the street I will be polite I will say hello, and ask how he is but I am not planning on extending myself to him in any other way for an extremely long time.
Other than looking for an apartment which hopefully we have found, and doing insane amounts of homework... things are really great. I have been having so much fun and I am really loving this series of photographs I just started. I have been thinking so much about my future I only have 3 quarters left and it is so scary yet so exciting. I know that it’s going to be a struggle for a while, and I will do whatever I can in the field of photography to get by. But hopefully one day even if I am like 50, that I can end up doing something along the lines of what I want to be doing. I guess I am just really excited to see where life takes me, and completely terrified at the same time. I guess I will see. And on another note! I got a record player and a good amount of records and I love every minute of it!
When I'm not busy doing school work or whatever I am always thinking. I know I have finally made the right decision and I am so much happier but I can't help but miss certain things. Like when I get upset over life, I still want to run to him. But I don't and that’s good. I have a hard time separating all the good that happened in those three years, and the extremely awful things that happened in the end. I seriously feel like those are two different people and when I think of the one I get happy, and then when I think of the second I just get extremely angry. I don't know if its the fact that it is a the time of year that the bad happened that made me get so angry I just felt like I had these constant reminders and that’s why I chose to do what I am doing. I mean yeah the good times we had were probably some of the best times I ever had in my life, but the end was seriously the worst hell I was ever put through. I am not saying that I will never talk to him again or never have him in my life, but I will say I need a good few years to find my place in the world then maybe. And if I see him on the street I will be polite I will say hello, and ask how he is but I am not planning on extending myself to him in any other way for an extremely long time.
Other than looking for an apartment which hopefully we have found, and doing insane amounts of homework... things are really great. I have been having so much fun and I am really loving this series of photographs I just started. I have been thinking so much about my future I only have 3 quarters left and it is so scary yet so exciting. I know that it’s going to be a struggle for a while, and I will do whatever I can in the field of photography to get by. But hopefully one day even if I am like 50, that I can end up doing something along the lines of what I want to be doing. I guess I am just really excited to see where life takes me, and completely terrified at the same time. I guess I will see. And on another note! I got a record player and a good amount of records and I love every minute of it!