Giant Fucking Post, apologies

May 30, 2011 16:44

Hello!!!!!!!

Today is the first day in months that I've felt like I have things I'm excited to talk about (that isn't football). I think this is another sign that I might be improving- I've been on antidepressants for almost a month now and I'm definitely feeling better (aka not bursting into tears whenever I think about being an academic failure \o/)

Also, I have (some) motivation! And I'm finding more things interesting! And paying attention to my appearance! Of course I still don't have anything to do and my productivity is still nil and my confidence in my academics is still completely shot, but I do feel better.

I have a job interview soon! Probably next week. I wrote a professional-sounding email and updated my resume and sent it in and they responded and sounded excited! It could very well come to nothing, but it's still making me feel good that I might be getting somewhere. It's for a hippie-ish food truck chain that has locations all around the city. Their craigslist advertisement said "Clover is hiring WINNERS!" and I lol'd bc it sounded sketchy but then opened it and actually got interested. I think it'll be cool. Fingers crossed.

I also got my wisdom teeth out a week ago. For a couple of days I actually had an excuse for sitting on the couch like a lump \o/. I think my body hates dissolvable stitches though. They never dissolve, I just get giant scars growing over them. (It happened with my removed back mole too.) But these ones are getting removed at my checkup tomorrow so it's no big deal. Just weird.

The only possibly negative side-effect of my meds so far is they might be making me a bit of an insomniac (as if it's possible for me to be more of an insomniac... wow). I've been actually trying to get back on a normal sleeping schedule but every time I'm tired and try to go to bed at around 12, I end up tossing and turning until like, 4. Last night was the worst (I was awake until 6 and then my mom woke me up at 10) so today's been pretty rough. I'm trying to convince my mom that my body is just meant to be nocturnal and I should just take night classes and get a job as a night security guard or trade stocks at Hong Kong hours or something. I'm only having limited success with this campaign. I would be a terrible security guard and I don't think I'm really cut out for stock broker either. Damn.

DOCTOR WHO! I'm so freaking confused and really really scared about where the storyline is going. I DONT LIKE UNWANTED PREGNANCIES. NOTHX. AMY DESERVES BETTER THAN TO HAVE HER WOMB USED WITHOUT HER CONSENT. UGH. I also think they've been hitting some of the wrong notes in the Rory/Amy story (SHOW THEM BEING AN AWESOME CONFIDENT MARRIED COUPLE, NOT MORE DRAMA OVER ~DOES SHE LOVE ME~ ~LET'S KILL RORY AND FIND OUT~ ~YES THEY'RE STILL IN LOVE~). I love Rory and they both deserve better than that. And Amy's been a lot more passive&reactionary and a lot less proactive this season and that's also worrying. I'm actually a little terrified that this season is dragging the entire Matt/Karen era down and that's a terrible feeling to have, bc the 5th season was actually maybe my favorite ever. But if this season ruins it.... I will be pretty heartbroken. It's not a show I can imagine giving up but man, I don't like where it's going. (Except for Doctor/River THEY ARE AWESOME AND RIVER IS FIERCE and also TARDIS/DOCTOR IS OTP OF ALL OTPS AND IF YOU'RE GETTING BITCHY ABOUT THEIR LOVE YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE A DOCTOR WHO FAN FUCK ROSE MAN THE TARDIS GOT THERE FIRST AND SHE IS FUCKING SEXY.)

Ahem. Sorry for all the caps in that paragraph. I apparently have a lot of feelings. I also made a giant theorizing post on tumblr, here. I hate theorizing but I couldnt resist this one :(

The European football season is officially over. Valencia finished a lot stronger than Arsenal, but it's not enough to save me from feeling down about it overall. I'm definitely still way more attached to Arsenal (and I like EPL a hell of a lot more than La Liga). And it was a painful end. Since the Carling Cup.... we just didn't have it. And that hurts. A lot. BUT there's always next season :))).

And I think I've been approaching my obsession healthier recently. I'm not using footie to escape from real life and I'm not depending on it to give me something to look forward to. I'm still in love with the sport & my teams of course, and I don't plan on giving it up soon, but it feels better to approach my passion this way, as opposed to how it was during the school year.

Even so, dealing with the withdrawal from games every week... I'm basically getting more into MLS and looking forward to the international games. MLS is actually awesome. I like that teams like Portland and Seattle can have such vibrant, amazing support without all the history of ultras/hooliganism/fascism/racism that plagues the old European hardcore supporters. We're still really new, and I've been feeling lately that there's a lot of potential to make MLS a proactive, positive league in a way that's never been seen in football before. And that's exciting. Now if only the NE Revolution could garner more of that amazing support.

BUT the even more exciting football-related thing in my life, I'M GOING TO SEE THE USMNT PLAY SPAIN AT GILLETTE IN LESS THAN A WEEK AHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHH. AHKADJFGHAKJFDGHKSFDGHKJSFDGH. I am incoherent in joy. Pretty much. DAVID SILVA IRL. CLINT DEMPSEY IRL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE, 8 YEARS. EVERYONE ELSE. I CANNOT. I CANNOOOOOTTTTTT. And we're sitting in the American Outlaws supporter's section and it'll be CRAZY INTENSE and I am actually SO EXCITED I DONT KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL BY MY ABUNDANT CAPSLOCK OR NOT.

Okay so this really was a GIANT POST and I guess I'm feeling pretty chipper today despite my lack of sleep. I MISS EVERYONE SFM AND I LOVE YOU ALL AND JUST, ALDKJFGHAJKDFG. <33333 I hope you're all having good times, and if not, I hope they get better soon.

doctor who/torchwood, actual shit in my life, football

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