Now it's November...
Haha! I should practice what I preach. I started listening to my Pandora Jazz Holidays station yesterday.... which is all Christmas music. But it's so mellow and peaceful. And I'm home all day taking care of an infant - I can listen to whatever I want!
Speaking of taking care of an infant, Oliver has been such an easy baby. Even now that Audrey is 5.... he's still the easier of the two to take care of. I feel like Audrey is entering some sort of weird pre-tween phase where EVERYTHING is an argument. Even asking her to wait five minutes for us to settle from being out on errands before I pour some hot apple cider. Suddenly, everything was NO FAIR in her world. I couldn't help but laugh. Really? Waiting a few minutes for us to walk in and settle before you got your cup is "no fair"?... I realized she is interpretting not getting what she wants right when she wants it as "no fair." We had a talk about it.
Still, she has had one meltdown after another. Yesterday evening I was worried she was getting sick because her voice sounded so hoarse, like she had a sore throat, and I'd been battling a cold myself. Jeff shook his head - "She's not sick. Her voice is rasping from yelling at us." So, those are the kinds of days I have when EVERYONE is home but more specifically when Jeff has to go to work or get yardwork done or run errands and I'm "stuck" with two kids at home. Sorry but my priority right now is Oliver. Sorry he has to take naps and sorry he jolts awake when there are loud noises around him. Sorry he has my attention right now... That's harder than I thought to explain to a 5-year-old...
To Audrey's credit, yesterday wasn't as bad as Saturday. Yesterday, I spent all the time I could with her in the morning. Oliver is more calm and easily sleeps in the morning so I took advantage of that and colored, and played, and sorted candy with Audrey. She was more understanding then when I told her I had to nurse Oliver or put him down for a nap. She'd go play quietly (!) in her room. But oh boy.... Saturday was TERRIBLE. Jeff was at the grocery store and I was trying to put Oliver down and wanted to place him in the rock n play in our room. Audrey had decided that was her dollies' bus for a field trip and yelled, kicked, and argued with me, as I had a drowsy infant in my arms, about how there was nothing else she could use for her dollies. She yelled at me SOOOoooo much and I couldn't yell back because I had Oliver in my arms and he was drifting off to sleep. So I hid in the laundry room and cried as Audrey shrieked at me from down the hall. She got sent to her room and I took away all her dollies. I told her they'd be on vacation for a week and MAYBE she could see them again if her attitude improved. I just couldn't believe how nasty she became.... :-(
Then Jeff was gone all night Saturday for the Pomona Hope gala, which I knew about. So already my defenses were up knowing I'd have to juggle two kids' bedtime routines. Well, at night, Oliver decided it was his turn to scream at me. I had to hold him during my book time with Audrey and with all his screaming, I had to tell Audrey I had to cut her book time short. Thankfully, she was tired and she understood anyway. She's great at night time - right into bed and we don't hear from her until she emerges after we're all up in the morning. Oliver was just hungry... and tired. Typical infant stuff. And thankfully Jeff returned home earlier than I expected so it wasn't a late night up after all.
All this is to say, there have been really good days, really good moments and there have been really trying days, and really REALLY trying moments. Those days and moments don't define me as a parent. I'm doing the best I can each day and after each day, I think about what went well and what could I have done better. Audrey is still our first born and we are still learning how to best raise her. We still make mistakes but we are learning. Oliver gets the benefit of being second born and we have learned from our mistakes with Audrey. We've learned what works best for feeding, sleeping, playing, etc. In that regard, he's lucky. But with Audrey, each day is a new adventure!!!
Pre-Tween in the making.....
It's cuddling moments like these when my heart is the most at ease. (After I snapped this happy picture of Audrey, she whined at me to stop taking her picture... *sigh*)
Lovely bonding time with the kids - Audrey & Mommy carve the pumpkin, Oliver & Daddy cuddle
Look at this happy 6-week-old! We are so in love!