How To Cope

[meglet329]

1. Sleep. A lot.
2. Take care of yourself and follow the doctor's order (take your vitamins, drink lots of fluids, "take it easy")
3. Avoid the mirror and the scale. You know you're not feeling or looking your best right now so why even humor yourself?
4. Spend time in thought and prayer. Constantly. And journal. For me, writing my thoughts out helps. (Hence all these recent entries and more in my REAL journal)
5. Talk to people who want to listen. Answer the phone when old friends call to check in on you. Answer the door when the door bell rings - it could be a bouquet of flowers from distant relatives.
6. Read books that do your heart good. For me, I read a book from my childhood and am now immersed in a book my mom loved to read in college. For whatever reason, this makes me feel good inside.
7. Listen to music. GOOD music. Music you haven't listened to for a long time that bring back happy memories. Music that stirs something inside and gives you a newfound sense of purpose. I recommend classical, The Beatles, and pretty much anything else in Jeff and my music collections. We have good taste.
8. Forgive yourself and forgive others. (I'm having all kinds of emotions about my neighbors right now. Thinking about forgiving them is HARD but staying angry at them is NOT GOOD FOR ME.)
9. Allow yourself to cry. It doesn't matter that the trigger is the fact that you forgot to give your daughter her vitamins and allergy medicine before she went to preschool or the fact that your cream of wheat turned out to be the most disgusting thing you've ever had to eat but you have to force it down because you know you need the iron..... Just let the tears out and don't stop until you're really DONE. It does you and your body no good to hold it all in.
10. Get a tattoo.

I'm serious about #10. I had a conversation with my cousin and his now wife in Idyllwild this past February. Jeff and I hadn't started trying yet so I was totally open to getting one. The problem then was I had no idea what I'd get. Now that we've been through everything, I have some ideas. Here are some I've pinned:



I'm pretty sure I want to get the tattoo on my wrist, like this "Believe" one.


A fitting Beatles lyrics but I'd want it on my wrist, not the foot (although it does look groovy on the foot, I don't wear sandals or flip flops or go barefoot regularly because I hate my feet... so no one would see it)


This is a miscarriage memorial tattoo. The dots on the inside are the babies you have and the dots on the outside are the ones that were lost. Thank God I don't have that many dots, but as a result it may look weird on me...


Shooting star - could represent the baby we lost... (again, I'd get it on my wrist - not my foot)



I think I'm pretty sold on these bird tattoos. The first one had this caption: Among the Greeks and Romans, the swallow was linked with Aphrodite, the beautiful goddess of love. The Greeks believed that the swallows could carry the souls of those who passed away onto the underworld. Among Christians, it was believed that swallows symbolized the rebirth of the old souls - making them a popular memorial tattoo today. To many individuals, both religious and non-religious - swallows signify a new beginning. Then the second one could once again represent for me my two failed pregnancies, leaving me, Jeff, and Audrey on the branch or it could even represent my mom and Grandmama who have passed and left me, my dad, and my brother behind. Either way, it would be a memorial tattoo.
I like these memorial tattoos because they are understated. I know what they would mean to me and they would still look pretty to anyone who just happened to notice it. So it's settled: some sort of understated memorial tattoo on my wrist. Let's do this!