(no subject)
why the fuck do i get told a solid 5 times a day by fucking EVERYONE to just follow the rules. and why do i have such a problem doing that. i'm not a bad kid or anything, and i'm not a "rebel" or any shit like that, i just don't do every fucking thing i'm told like a mindless fucking idiot so FUCKING EXCUSE ME FOR THINKING FOR MYSELF. how do i always manage to get in trouble no matter what. teachers don't automatically deserve our respect just because they're teachers so if a teacher is disrespectful to me, well guess fucking what- i'm gonna fucking be disrespectful right back to them you FUCKING ASSHOLE.
anyhoo. today blew on many accounts. bbn can fucking suck it. my face hurts a lot.
i'm becoming such a bitch to so many people. if i wasn't me, and if i was somebody i was mean to, i think i'd really fucking hate myself. but i'd so much rather have like 5 real friends and be the absolute best friend i can be to them and give like 100% of my energy and attention to them than have shallow, meaningless relationships with tons of people. it's always really all or nothing with me.
also i always get in trouble for being too trusting. i trust people way too much and like 95% of the time end up getting fucked over or used or let down or anything like that. but i still trust people like no matter what and exercise absolutely no discretion at all. but even though it happens so rarely, when people you never expect to actually do come around and prove that everything they say is not bullshit, when you're rewarded for giving people too much slack and too much trust, that totally makes up for the majority of the times it sucks.
the one thing i hate more than anything else in the world is being controlled. and going to a school like bbn and having a mom like mine does not exactly lend itself to this. i just hate always being afraid of breaking the rules or staying in line, or on the "straight and narrow" as my mom always fucking says. the whole point of school is to shape us into mindless fucking idiots that can't think for ourselves and never break the rules or fuck up or anything. it's times like these i really, really don't think i'm going to college.
on a separate note, yesterday was probably the most cancerous day of my life. i use shit for my skin that makes you definitely get skin cancer if you EVER get in the sun- you're supposed to avoid it like the plauge pretty much. and i take the pill, which means if you smoke cigarettes you WILL get ovarian cancer, no question. what did i do yesterday? i went to the beach, tanned for like 3 hours with no sunscreen on, and chainsmoked.
ps, diana is the best, and even if her mom tears her a new asshole, she'll still be my favorite
anyhoo. today blew on many accounts. bbn can fucking suck it. my face hurts a lot.
i'm becoming such a bitch to so many people. if i wasn't me, and if i was somebody i was mean to, i think i'd really fucking hate myself. but i'd so much rather have like 5 real friends and be the absolute best friend i can be to them and give like 100% of my energy and attention to them than have shallow, meaningless relationships with tons of people. it's always really all or nothing with me.
also i always get in trouble for being too trusting. i trust people way too much and like 95% of the time end up getting fucked over or used or let down or anything like that. but i still trust people like no matter what and exercise absolutely no discretion at all. but even though it happens so rarely, when people you never expect to actually do come around and prove that everything they say is not bullshit, when you're rewarded for giving people too much slack and too much trust, that totally makes up for the majority of the times it sucks.
the one thing i hate more than anything else in the world is being controlled. and going to a school like bbn and having a mom like mine does not exactly lend itself to this. i just hate always being afraid of breaking the rules or staying in line, or on the "straight and narrow" as my mom always fucking says. the whole point of school is to shape us into mindless fucking idiots that can't think for ourselves and never break the rules or fuck up or anything. it's times like these i really, really don't think i'm going to college.
on a separate note, yesterday was probably the most cancerous day of my life. i use shit for my skin that makes you definitely get skin cancer if you EVER get in the sun- you're supposed to avoid it like the plauge pretty much. and i take the pill, which means if you smoke cigarettes you WILL get ovarian cancer, no question. what did i do yesterday? i went to the beach, tanned for like 3 hours with no sunscreen on, and chainsmoked.
ps, diana is the best, and even if her mom tears her a new asshole, she'll still be my favorite