meh
I'm doing this thing in my life where I set boundries.
So far it's going great. *heh*
I have managed to piss everyone off around me. My sister blocked me, and cut off any chance of me talking to my son. My grandma won't talk to me because I demand the same respect she does. Oh, and I won't let her say that my new baby is hers and THAT family's.
Sorry, I'm not having a girl because that family needs a girl. God gave me a son because of her delusional thinking. I wonder if I did have a girl if that family would have fought for her too.
It's fucked up because they didn't want Joey. Actually, she wanted Kyle. Being there in the operating room when he was born really went to her head. That day she decided she wanted him, and nothing was going to stop her. 3 years later she has me in a court room. Aunt Chelle got Kyle. My parents Joey. She didn't want Joey. He had too many issues. Too many problems and he was a handful. No one wanted Joey. My parents didn't want to take my kids. Aunt Chelle wanted Kyle and they had to figure out what to do with Joey.
It was a nightmare. For two years I fought. I did everything they askled of me, it wasn't enough. I had no chance at getting them back. Neither did Joe. He did everything he was supposed to do, also. It just didn't matter. I honestly feel like she paid everyone off. We were constantly changing social workers and lawyers. It never stopped. Ever month or so it was someone new. It didn't make sense. Everything just fell apart in front of my eyes. I lost my kids and I lost my entire family. It changed me.
I look back now and being out of that toxic family cycle has pretty much saved me as a person. At all times I felt like I wasn't good enough. I was always being put down and held to a standard that none of them lived up to. The abuse was too much to handle. I couldn't cope. I didn't cope. I just turned to drugs. Somehow for 7 years I managed to do it on my own. Without Joe. I had help from my family but it came at a cost. Most of the time is was just more resistance. They just made it harder. I look back and I feel so guilty. My kids had to watch me get abused and treated like shit by everyone around us. It was terrible. The choices I made weren't always right, but I did put a lot of effort into doing the right thing. I failed by not leaving that family. I was stuck in their cycle.
Then one day, they kicked me out. I was told I had to leave, they were keeping the kids and I had to go. The entire family dropped me. I was devestated. I had no where to go. It was November. I ended up sleeping in a garage for a few weeks with these meth heads in Port Huron. It was nasty. I was nasty. Then Jon let me stay with him. He saved me. It wasn't easy. I was a wild horse that didn't want to be tamed. I was hurt. Over the next year I tried so hard to just escape. By April I had pretty much killed myself and any chance I had at getting my boys back. So I went to rehab again. from May until December. I got out and I was on top of the world. I thought so at least.
But it wasn't enough. Later that year I lost my kids for good. After jumping through all their hoops, checking every little thing off the list. It was over.
Every second away from that family has been for the better. I am growing. I don't have someone knocking me down at all times. Although, Dooch really wanted to. Jon and I got married in October 2020. Dooch still thought she had this hold over me. You know just be shitty for no reason, and I'm just supposed to take it. Well not after the year we just had.
We got married and moved into our own apartment October 2020. We lived in the duplex above Jon's parents. Jon was his dad guardian because of the stroke, so we took care of both of his parents. Well come January 2021, Jon's sister decided she was super jealous of what we had. So she left her husband. Next thing we know her and her son are living in our back room. She never asked, she just fucking moved in.
Our life was great. I cooked everyday, I kept the house clean, we were happy... We acted as if nothing changed when she moved in. It became a huge burden and I was stressed beyond what I could take. So come March I sit Becka down and I ask her what her plan is. Is she moving, is she getting a job? Like what is the deal? it was from that day forward that Becka was no longer my friend. She made herself the enemy. She made our lives hell from that point on. She started calling the cops for no reason, saying we were harassing her, saying whatever she could. She was trying to get us arressted or kicked out of our house. It was another fucking nightmare. So we ended upo filing for an eviction. She would overdose on her Oxycontin and claim she was having a seizure, then just leave her child with us. I was raising her kid. I couldn't do it anymore. She overdosed and ended up in the hospital so I called and had him taken somewhere safe. It was only about a week or so after that she was evicted. That was a 4 month process... It was hell. She tried saying that Jon pushed her into the wall and put her on life support and we were attacking her. Luckily the cops were so sick of hearing her call and lie, they never took her seriously. That's all she does is just lie and make shit up...
Fast forward to now. We got a PPO on her. She says its bullshit. But judges just dont hand them out to people for nothing. She has tried and tried to get ppo's on all of us. Never worked because we haven't done anything. Well, we got one on her, because she is fucking crazy.
It was quiet for a few months. I heard she revoked her son's saftey plan, and moved him from his aunts to a homeless shelter with her. She was leaving us alone. THEN Jon's mom died from Covid. For a solid 2 weeks her and I were talking and there was no bullshit. Then she brought up moving back in to the house. She wanted Jon to drop the PPO. Absolutely not. So she went off the handle again. I gave her other options, I have been nothing but nice to her as usual. All I get in return is threats. She said she will get us kicked out and there will be a "fight". I'm just over it. She claims I won't let her see her dad, but in reality, I wont go pick her up. I wouldn't for Christmas, so she got all shitty and shut up for a while. Until 2 days ago. She texts me and apologizes for being the way she is, she got diagnosised with bipolar and she is seeing a psychiatrist. I said great! I'm proud of her. Well I wake up this morning to her text. She asked if we could talk about something without anyone getting upset. She has until the 28th to find another place to live and she wants us to drop the ppo and let her move back in. I told her I wasn't upset, I didn't want her to get upset, but no. We don't feel safe dropping the ppo and its not a good idea for her to come back in. She flipped out again and started to threaten me as usual. I'm over it.
I'm over people being like this. That's why I put my gma in place..
I told her I was pregnant and Jon and I were having a baby. Well Dooch was so excited. She was so happy that she would text Jon and I and ask how her baby is doing. She said I was having a girl. Because that family needed a girl. I was mad. No. This isn't your baby. That family is not getting another one of my babies. And I told her that. I said her family kicked me out 3 years ago and didn't give two fucks about what happened to me. This is not their baby. I am not a part of that family, and I haven't been. Well Dooch took that as an attack and told me that when she died I wasn't allowed to go to her funeral. Wow. Narcissism at it's best. I since then told her I was having a boy :) and that I loved her. She won't say she loves me too. She won't say much to me at all.
I have control over how people treat me. I let them know what is acceptable, and what isn't. Apparently up until now I have been pretty shitty at setting boundries. So once I decided to put them into place, people are just taken back by it. Like how dare i?!
I don't know. It feels good to have control over my life.
I am happy with the life I am starting to build. I have Jon and Isaiah will be here soon. Just the three of us, we will be ready to take in my boys whenever they are ready to get away from that family. And I am 100% sure they will. They will know the truth one day.
So far it's going great. *heh*
I have managed to piss everyone off around me. My sister blocked me, and cut off any chance of me talking to my son. My grandma won't talk to me because I demand the same respect she does. Oh, and I won't let her say that my new baby is hers and THAT family's.
Sorry, I'm not having a girl because that family needs a girl. God gave me a son because of her delusional thinking. I wonder if I did have a girl if that family would have fought for her too.
It's fucked up because they didn't want Joey. Actually, she wanted Kyle. Being there in the operating room when he was born really went to her head. That day she decided she wanted him, and nothing was going to stop her. 3 years later she has me in a court room. Aunt Chelle got Kyle. My parents Joey. She didn't want Joey. He had too many issues. Too many problems and he was a handful. No one wanted Joey. My parents didn't want to take my kids. Aunt Chelle wanted Kyle and they had to figure out what to do with Joey.
It was a nightmare. For two years I fought. I did everything they askled of me, it wasn't enough. I had no chance at getting them back. Neither did Joe. He did everything he was supposed to do, also. It just didn't matter. I honestly feel like she paid everyone off. We were constantly changing social workers and lawyers. It never stopped. Ever month or so it was someone new. It didn't make sense. Everything just fell apart in front of my eyes. I lost my kids and I lost my entire family. It changed me.
I look back now and being out of that toxic family cycle has pretty much saved me as a person. At all times I felt like I wasn't good enough. I was always being put down and held to a standard that none of them lived up to. The abuse was too much to handle. I couldn't cope. I didn't cope. I just turned to drugs. Somehow for 7 years I managed to do it on my own. Without Joe. I had help from my family but it came at a cost. Most of the time is was just more resistance. They just made it harder. I look back and I feel so guilty. My kids had to watch me get abused and treated like shit by everyone around us. It was terrible. The choices I made weren't always right, but I did put a lot of effort into doing the right thing. I failed by not leaving that family. I was stuck in their cycle.
Then one day, they kicked me out. I was told I had to leave, they were keeping the kids and I had to go. The entire family dropped me. I was devestated. I had no where to go. It was November. I ended up sleeping in a garage for a few weeks with these meth heads in Port Huron. It was nasty. I was nasty. Then Jon let me stay with him. He saved me. It wasn't easy. I was a wild horse that didn't want to be tamed. I was hurt. Over the next year I tried so hard to just escape. By April I had pretty much killed myself and any chance I had at getting my boys back. So I went to rehab again. from May until December. I got out and I was on top of the world. I thought so at least.
But it wasn't enough. Later that year I lost my kids for good. After jumping through all their hoops, checking every little thing off the list. It was over.
Every second away from that family has been for the better. I am growing. I don't have someone knocking me down at all times. Although, Dooch really wanted to. Jon and I got married in October 2020. Dooch still thought she had this hold over me. You know just be shitty for no reason, and I'm just supposed to take it. Well not after the year we just had.
We got married and moved into our own apartment October 2020. We lived in the duplex above Jon's parents. Jon was his dad guardian because of the stroke, so we took care of both of his parents. Well come January 2021, Jon's sister decided she was super jealous of what we had. So she left her husband. Next thing we know her and her son are living in our back room. She never asked, she just fucking moved in.
Our life was great. I cooked everyday, I kept the house clean, we were happy... We acted as if nothing changed when she moved in. It became a huge burden and I was stressed beyond what I could take. So come March I sit Becka down and I ask her what her plan is. Is she moving, is she getting a job? Like what is the deal? it was from that day forward that Becka was no longer my friend. She made herself the enemy. She made our lives hell from that point on. She started calling the cops for no reason, saying we were harassing her, saying whatever she could. She was trying to get us arressted or kicked out of our house. It was another fucking nightmare. So we ended upo filing for an eviction. She would overdose on her Oxycontin and claim she was having a seizure, then just leave her child with us. I was raising her kid. I couldn't do it anymore. She overdosed and ended up in the hospital so I called and had him taken somewhere safe. It was only about a week or so after that she was evicted. That was a 4 month process... It was hell. She tried saying that Jon pushed her into the wall and put her on life support and we were attacking her. Luckily the cops were so sick of hearing her call and lie, they never took her seriously. That's all she does is just lie and make shit up...
Fast forward to now. We got a PPO on her. She says its bullshit. But judges just dont hand them out to people for nothing. She has tried and tried to get ppo's on all of us. Never worked because we haven't done anything. Well, we got one on her, because she is fucking crazy.
It was quiet for a few months. I heard she revoked her son's saftey plan, and moved him from his aunts to a homeless shelter with her. She was leaving us alone. THEN Jon's mom died from Covid. For a solid 2 weeks her and I were talking and there was no bullshit. Then she brought up moving back in to the house. She wanted Jon to drop the PPO. Absolutely not. So she went off the handle again. I gave her other options, I have been nothing but nice to her as usual. All I get in return is threats. She said she will get us kicked out and there will be a "fight". I'm just over it. She claims I won't let her see her dad, but in reality, I wont go pick her up. I wouldn't for Christmas, so she got all shitty and shut up for a while. Until 2 days ago. She texts me and apologizes for being the way she is, she got diagnosised with bipolar and she is seeing a psychiatrist. I said great! I'm proud of her. Well I wake up this morning to her text. She asked if we could talk about something without anyone getting upset. She has until the 28th to find another place to live and she wants us to drop the ppo and let her move back in. I told her I wasn't upset, I didn't want her to get upset, but no. We don't feel safe dropping the ppo and its not a good idea for her to come back in. She flipped out again and started to threaten me as usual. I'm over it.
I'm over people being like this. That's why I put my gma in place..
I told her I was pregnant and Jon and I were having a baby. Well Dooch was so excited. She was so happy that she would text Jon and I and ask how her baby is doing. She said I was having a girl. Because that family needed a girl. I was mad. No. This isn't your baby. That family is not getting another one of my babies. And I told her that. I said her family kicked me out 3 years ago and didn't give two fucks about what happened to me. This is not their baby. I am not a part of that family, and I haven't been. Well Dooch took that as an attack and told me that when she died I wasn't allowed to go to her funeral. Wow. Narcissism at it's best. I since then told her I was having a boy :) and that I loved her. She won't say she loves me too. She won't say much to me at all.
I have control over how people treat me. I let them know what is acceptable, and what isn't. Apparently up until now I have been pretty shitty at setting boundries. So once I decided to put them into place, people are just taken back by it. Like how dare i?!
I don't know. It feels good to have control over my life.
I am happy with the life I am starting to build. I have Jon and Isaiah will be here soon. Just the three of us, we will be ready to take in my boys whenever they are ready to get away from that family. And I am 100% sure they will. They will know the truth one day.