(no subject)
Dear Oliver,
Please come back. Everyone thinks I only have one cat now. You are smelly and your white fur is probably dirty. You don't even like it outside. You don't even go anywhere. All you do is hide under the house and stare at me through that stupid little hole. Meanwhile I lay in the dirt to get under the house holding a cat treat out for you like a retard while you blankly stare back at me then close your eyes and go to sleep. I find it totally disrespectful and it pisses me off. I'll even ignore the fact that you projectile vomited on me the other day from the top of my computer while I frantically tried to catch it with the hamster exercise ball that you completely missed. We'll pretend that never happened. Just come back.
Love,
Mommy
Please come back. Everyone thinks I only have one cat now. You are smelly and your white fur is probably dirty. You don't even like it outside. You don't even go anywhere. All you do is hide under the house and stare at me through that stupid little hole. Meanwhile I lay in the dirt to get under the house holding a cat treat out for you like a retard while you blankly stare back at me then close your eyes and go to sleep. I find it totally disrespectful and it pisses me off. I'll even ignore the fact that you projectile vomited on me the other day from the top of my computer while I frantically tried to catch it with the hamster exercise ball that you completely missed. We'll pretend that never happened. Just come back.
Love,
Mommy