WATCHMEN KICKS THE ASS
So I went to see Watchmen. Here's what I thought about it. Spoilyoilyoilers ahead.
Okay, well first off lemme say I haven't read the book YET. Soon, though. Looking forward to it. But all adaptation aside,
RORSCHACH WAS THE MOST AWESOME THING I'VE SEEN IN FREAKIN' AGES. Talk about a well-developed character. He was the spirit of that movie, and he was executed to PERFECTION. Acting choice, the script they gave him, the look, the timing... he was the most intriguing thing. Forget the glowing CG blue penis gently swinging to and fro. Forget the girl in her shiny outfit and the nipples popping out during the [way too long, my god why was it necessary?] sex scene... Your eyes were glued to Rorschach, no matter the scene. He was the one that made you laugh, made you teary, made you cheer, made you sympathize... made you enjoy the movie, really. And as someone else on DA said, he did the chilling 'the-world-is-a-dark-place' voice the way Christian Bale's Batman tried and kinda failed to do. His changing mask was never explained, but you just didn't care after hearing him scream for them to give him back his face when they took it. The actor, also, was the only one of the cast that had martial arts training (a black belt in something or other) and was the only one who truly sold me on the fight scenes. His scrappy action in the prison... that was just HOT for reasons that weren't even sexual. True, he was no pretty boy, and the character was a deeply unhappy person, but boy were you rooting for him the whole freakin' way.
Whew. Getting all riled up just thinking of that awesomeness.
(Okay mebbe just a teeny bit sexual, too. I like the wiry guys.)
Parts I liked other than Rorschach, in no particular order:
*The Silhouette lesbian chick from the old team. She had a great look. Beautiful in that femme-fatale-Natasha kind of way. Had the usual straight, cropped black hair, dark makeup and pale skin, dominatrix outfit. But she pulled it off better than I've seen before. I liked it. And she had the sailor kiss photo-op! Whoo-hoo!
*The recreated scene of Kennedy's assasination, where it then pans over to the Comedian putting away his gun. I thought that little bit was well done.
*The fact that they did show the nudity on Jon (Dr. Manhattan). It was a bit more honest that way.
*The part where the (fake) assassin comes for Adrian Veidt. It was before you knew it was a set-up, and you still thought Veidt was the good guy, but you also thought "Oh, he's the brainy one. And look at that scrawny physique, no wonder he's hiding behind the suits... OH WAIT. The part I liked was where he suddenly picks up that whateveritwas and just slams it sideways into the assassin. It was a choice moment of physical prowess I was not expecting and was well-timed.
*The way they handled the flashbacks in general. Spiffy.
*The purple horned tiger thing, even though it was never actually explained.
*The line: "This is America! No one wants a COWBOY in the White House!"
That's about it. Rorschach pretty much made it.
Things I didn't like:
*The SEX SCENE. My god, were they serious? WHY? It contributed absolutely nothing to the message of the movie or the development of their characters. I mean, I GET the fact that they had sex. I support showing more than the usual, to keep the honesty level on par with the Dr. Manhattan nudity, but it just KEPT GOING. WHY did we need to see doughboy's flexing ass? Seriously. There was just about... a solid two minutes of all of that they REALLY should have skipped. AND THEN THE FLAME BUTTON? SERIOUSLY?! My friend was right. Every 14-year-old boy in the world would laugh at that one, but no one else. And NO 14-year-olds should ever see this movie!
*Their fighting physiques. Other than Rorschach in prison, and the Comedian looking like a military-trained TANK, the others' kicking ass was not so believable. Owl boy and the Silk Spectre were both soft and doughy. With that costume on Silk Spectre? You could easily see the tops of her thighs giggling as she walked. (Slow-mo was not kind.) These actors did not look like they could have ever caused the damage they caused to their enemies. The fight scenes were very well coreographed and the injuries looked real, but the people causing them did not look capable. Sorry. Wasn't sold.
*The fact that they never explained WHY these costumed heroes had such remarkable strength and speed. OR what their day jobs were, except for Manhattan.
*Seeing a man's arms get sawed off. (And other horrifying injuries, but that one stood out.)
*Nixon's nose. Really, people.
All other likes or dislikes were plot points that came from the book, and I am only critiquing the movie here. All in all, judging against the highest level of awesome that this movie should have been, I'd give it an 8 out of ten. Maybe a 7, but damn did Rorschach just make everything better.
And a stupid thing. Unbelievable really. A family of five came and sat in front of us. Parents and three LITTLE boys. None older than eight. They came in juggling food (like, HAMBURGERS) and the boys were constantly swapping seats. They talked a bit even as the movie started, and me and my three friends were all just staring in disbelief. I'd ALMOST said something earlier about "Hey, didn't you realize this is an R-rated movie?" but held off, thinking it might be worth it to see them act all scandalized and rush the kids from the theater. Well, half that, and half because I also thought they were probably assholes who failed life and I didn't want them to get their fail on me. (I have enough of my own.) Then, about a half hour in, the woman starts waving them all out, and said,
"Let's go. This movie sucks."
I HAVE NO WORDS for how much I wanted to hurt these scumsuckers. Geez.
But if you haven't seen it, and you've got an adult brain, you should see this movie. Says me. Go do it!
And again, RORSCHACH RULED!
Okay, well first off lemme say I haven't read the book YET. Soon, though. Looking forward to it. But all adaptation aside,
RORSCHACH WAS THE MOST AWESOME THING I'VE SEEN IN FREAKIN' AGES. Talk about a well-developed character. He was the spirit of that movie, and he was executed to PERFECTION. Acting choice, the script they gave him, the look, the timing... he was the most intriguing thing. Forget the glowing CG blue penis gently swinging to and fro. Forget the girl in her shiny outfit and the nipples popping out during the [way too long, my god why was it necessary?] sex scene... Your eyes were glued to Rorschach, no matter the scene. He was the one that made you laugh, made you teary, made you cheer, made you sympathize... made you enjoy the movie, really. And as someone else on DA said, he did the chilling 'the-world-is-a-dark-place' voice the way Christian Bale's Batman tried and kinda failed to do. His changing mask was never explained, but you just didn't care after hearing him scream for them to give him back his face when they took it. The actor, also, was the only one of the cast that had martial arts training (a black belt in something or other) and was the only one who truly sold me on the fight scenes. His scrappy action in the prison... that was just HOT for reasons that weren't even sexual. True, he was no pretty boy, and the character was a deeply unhappy person, but boy were you rooting for him the whole freakin' way.
Whew. Getting all riled up just thinking of that awesomeness.
(Okay mebbe just a teeny bit sexual, too. I like the wiry guys.)
Parts I liked other than Rorschach, in no particular order:
*The Silhouette lesbian chick from the old team. She had a great look. Beautiful in that femme-fatale-Natasha kind of way. Had the usual straight, cropped black hair, dark makeup and pale skin, dominatrix outfit. But she pulled it off better than I've seen before. I liked it. And she had the sailor kiss photo-op! Whoo-hoo!
*The recreated scene of Kennedy's assasination, where it then pans over to the Comedian putting away his gun. I thought that little bit was well done.
*The fact that they did show the nudity on Jon (Dr. Manhattan). It was a bit more honest that way.
*The part where the (fake) assassin comes for Adrian Veidt. It was before you knew it was a set-up, and you still thought Veidt was the good guy, but you also thought "Oh, he's the brainy one. And look at that scrawny physique, no wonder he's hiding behind the suits... OH WAIT. The part I liked was where he suddenly picks up that whateveritwas and just slams it sideways into the assassin. It was a choice moment of physical prowess I was not expecting and was well-timed.
*The way they handled the flashbacks in general. Spiffy.
*The purple horned tiger thing, even though it was never actually explained.
*The line: "This is America! No one wants a COWBOY in the White House!"
That's about it. Rorschach pretty much made it.
Things I didn't like:
*The SEX SCENE. My god, were they serious? WHY? It contributed absolutely nothing to the message of the movie or the development of their characters. I mean, I GET the fact that they had sex. I support showing more than the usual, to keep the honesty level on par with the Dr. Manhattan nudity, but it just KEPT GOING. WHY did we need to see doughboy's flexing ass? Seriously. There was just about... a solid two minutes of all of that they REALLY should have skipped. AND THEN THE FLAME BUTTON? SERIOUSLY?! My friend was right. Every 14-year-old boy in the world would laugh at that one, but no one else. And NO 14-year-olds should ever see this movie!
*Their fighting physiques. Other than Rorschach in prison, and the Comedian looking like a military-trained TANK, the others' kicking ass was not so believable. Owl boy and the Silk Spectre were both soft and doughy. With that costume on Silk Spectre? You could easily see the tops of her thighs giggling as she walked. (Slow-mo was not kind.) These actors did not look like they could have ever caused the damage they caused to their enemies. The fight scenes were very well coreographed and the injuries looked real, but the people causing them did not look capable. Sorry. Wasn't sold.
*The fact that they never explained WHY these costumed heroes had such remarkable strength and speed. OR what their day jobs were, except for Manhattan.
*Seeing a man's arms get sawed off. (And other horrifying injuries, but that one stood out.)
*Nixon's nose. Really, people.
All other likes or dislikes were plot points that came from the book, and I am only critiquing the movie here. All in all, judging against the highest level of awesome that this movie should have been, I'd give it an 8 out of ten. Maybe a 7, but damn did Rorschach just make everything better.
And a stupid thing. Unbelievable really. A family of five came and sat in front of us. Parents and three LITTLE boys. None older than eight. They came in juggling food (like, HAMBURGERS) and the boys were constantly swapping seats. They talked a bit even as the movie started, and me and my three friends were all just staring in disbelief. I'd ALMOST said something earlier about "Hey, didn't you realize this is an R-rated movie?" but held off, thinking it might be worth it to see them act all scandalized and rush the kids from the theater. Well, half that, and half because I also thought they were probably assholes who failed life and I didn't want them to get their fail on me. (I have enough of my own.) Then, about a half hour in, the woman starts waving them all out, and said,
"Let's go. This movie sucks."
I HAVE NO WORDS for how much I wanted to hurt these scumsuckers. Geez.
But if you haven't seen it, and you've got an adult brain, you should see this movie. Says me. Go do it!
And again, RORSCHACH RULED!