i feel like everyone is mad at me.
and i just wanna cry.
oh, wait, i have been.
you got mad at me. i can't believe i actually had the guts to say that to you, and you got mad. and i stopped talking. and i stopped bc i was scared. and started to cry. but you didn't notce. you just wanted a hug and kiss goodbye. and i was glad you left. but i felt bad for making you mad. but you would have been mad too. after last night, you said you needed a bigger group, but then went anyways. how the hell is that supposed to make me feel? i had fun anyway. without you. i always feel like an inconvenience to you.
so, jarrett burnt me an old jimmy eat world cd. and i love it. i can't believe i was missing out.
This time it's on my own.
Minutes from somewhere else.
Somewhere I made a wish with Lucky Denver Mint.
Hurry go on ahead.
Good things won't let you wait.
I'll catch up when we get home.
At home I'll leave.
A dollar under water keeps on dreaming for me.
You're not bigger than this, not better.
Why can't you learn.
-Lucky Denver Mint.
"Is tomorrow just a day like all the rest."
How could you know just what you did?
So full of faith yet so full of doubt I ask.
Time and time again you said don't be afraid.
"If you believe you can do it."
The only voice I want to hear is yours.
Again.
I shall ask you this once again.
And again.
He said:
" I am but one small instrument."
Do you remember that?
So here I am above palm trees so straight and tall.
You are smaller, getting smaller.
But I still see you.
-Goodbye Sky Harbor
I'll take your words as if you were talking to me.
Say what I know you'll say and say it through your teeth.
With pride keep every failure in.
And with pride hold on to the sinking.
Now in the deep and down your heart moves.
Now in the deep and down, I don't know how but I know I want out.
Wait for something better.
Will I know when it can be us?
Maybe that doesn't mean us.
Wait for something better?
I shouldn't, it's not enough.
Pull one excuse from another.
Just one excuse from another.
This time it means us. stop.
-Clarity.
i'm scared.
i say that a lot.
i can't help it.
i don't want to leave home.
but i do.
i should probably go to bed.
but i don't want to.
you aren't answering me.
i told you that you wouldn't.
get me out.
i want you to save me.
i want you to make this better.
i want you to be here.
...with me.
now.
this summer sucks. we talked about this last night. you and me. we should have spent more time together. so, why does everything have to be so difficult? i'm hoping that after leaving for school, things will be better. but what if they aren't?
i am going to miss kristi a lot. i decided. i can't believe i have only known this girl for such a short time and i am already so freaking attached. when i come home on the weekends, she is going to live with me. k. thanks. she sticks up for me. and i appreciate her more than she knows.
i am glad we are okay. it was weird seeing you. i don't even know.
from the beginning. okay.we'll see how this goes. talk to me, okay?
summer. is quickly fading.
i had fun last night.
i still can't get over it.
i can't believe this.
you were the one who was mad and texting me while you were angry...then come see me at work and ACTED LIKE EVERYTHING WAS OK????!!!
no. and then you say i still wanna go on a roadtrip, when you are the one that keeps NAGGING me to talk to my parents. i thought you were mad at me?!?! but you still want to spend a week with me?! why? i am a bitch...remember?! okay. yeah.
and yeah, i wanna go on a roadtrip....but do i really wanna go on one where i don't know anybody? and feel uncomfortable? maybe not? do you care? have you asked? no. okay. good.
i don't get you.
you act like everything is okay, then blow up again.
and about hanging out with people you don't like.... that's your problem if you don't like them. i got over it, and now i can be friends with her. okay. thanks.
and then about the 'cool people' did i EVER say that?! no....someone else did. 'cool scale?' what the FUCK? no.
and maybe i don't want to hang out with you bc ALL you ever do is get mad at me. i can't make you happy anymore.
oh, and talk to HIM. let him be an ass to you too. or maybe he will be nice to you. who knows? go ahead.
don't be fake with me. and don't pretend to like me if you don't.
okay. bye.