(no subject)
I didn't get to see Jeff Saturday :( Nessa beat Jeff's Dad in calling in to set up visits so there was only room for 1 other person & he figured Kayla (Jeff's Niece) should go because she sat out last him so him & I could visit Jeff.
I was upset but I know he wants to see all his friends so I'm glad he will be able to at least. I am going to call to schedule the visit for Saturday this time though. I will be right on the dor & Nessa will NOT beat me! I refuse to sit out another week. I don't know why she even wants to see him. He stopped being her friend around the time he dumped me & met Haley. Yet whenever he's in jail & off drugs he turns to good old friend Nessa. Blah. I just don't like her.
So anyways.. Jeff wrote me the best letter yet. It said everything I've been dying to know <3 I have a pile of letter from 2 years ago when he was in jail.. They are lies. I mean.. What those letters said.. Most of the things never happened. So I have a hard time believing his letters now. I want to so bad.. but I honestly think all I know is hurt so I expect the worst no matter what. If there is a chance he can get a bail and be out until sentencing then I will be with him <3
Umm on other notes I'm still really poor.. It's getting really tough. I am trying to not smoke a 30 a day.. yet somehow it works out that I can. If I don't have money I get it somehow just in time. Or I get a free one or a cheap one or just something works out in my favor. Beat me why I get so lucky. I want to stop but I don't. I have no money for one tomorrow. I know I will get really depressed without smoking one. I wonder what 2 days without would be like? 3 days? I don't like to think about it. I'll have to soon though. Blah.
Fred needs to step up a dance. I only have $100 saved for March's rent so far. I will need rat food soon too. I stopped buying the cheaper bags of food at Pet Quarters & only buy them the good more expensive kind at Petco so it's costing me a bit more but the bags are bigger at least. I am running out of hamster food too. I also give that to the mice. I got the mice in 2 aquariums. 3 in each cage. I'm letting them all go the second spring hits & I know they wouldn't freeze outside. I'd like to move the hamsters into the aquariums once the mice are gone. Might move the hamsters in 2 old cages I had for the rats instead though. They both have tiny cages currently & I feel bad for them. Plus their cages are hard to clean. They both are the same $25 brand cage. I think the hamsters deserve better! So we shall see..
But yeah Fred needs to set up a dance asap. I need to stock up on rat food. I think I can get $432 by the 24th of this month towards rent then ask my parents for $200. They said they would help so I'm not worried. They know I only get 20 to 25 hours at work lately & I'm struggling.
I need the job at Diamonds so bad. So bad.. I could solve all my problems if I just had more money. I need money so bad. So bad :( I fooled around with someone for $20 hahaha. Someone I'd dated before so it was amusing he offered money. We weren't supposed to have sex though but I wanted it so bad & so did he. It was hot. And I needed to replace $20 since I took it out of my rent to get a 30. I had $20 already so figured I could replace it Friday when I get paid but now it's replaced :) I'm so bad.. I need to not tap into rent for a 30. I wont do it again. Tonight is my last night of fun cuz I dont have the money & I've run out of ideas how to get more money lol. Unless of course Fred buys me 1.. Hmm.. I hope he calls!
PS: Sarah randomly moved in. Paul is still here. My place is like home for the unemployed poor idiots apparently. It only benefits having either of them around slightly these days. I have my own drug connections outside of them so I don't need them for that. I can cook & clean so I don't need Paul for that anymore. They both don't really make it worth it for me to stay here! Other then buying food.. which is a big help since I dont really eat like I should to save food because I only get groceries once a month. So I do appreciate them for that. But Sarah helps herself to my clothes. she used too many towels when she showers & leaves them everywhere when they should be hung to dry. Paul is addicted to 30s & is a dick if he doesn't get them. He's annoying. I still like him though in certain ways but he gets on my nerves & I get bitchy. We argue a lot.
I think soon it is time to get my place back to myself. I am going to try my best to only smoke 30's like.. 3 days a week instead of 7! And I am going to do my best to get the job at Diamond's or I will not survive.. I don't make enough money anymore to live how I've been living :( I need money so nothing has to change.
I was upset but I know he wants to see all his friends so I'm glad he will be able to at least. I am going to call to schedule the visit for Saturday this time though. I will be right on the dor & Nessa will NOT beat me! I refuse to sit out another week. I don't know why she even wants to see him. He stopped being her friend around the time he dumped me & met Haley. Yet whenever he's in jail & off drugs he turns to good old friend Nessa. Blah. I just don't like her.
So anyways.. Jeff wrote me the best letter yet. It said everything I've been dying to know <3 I have a pile of letter from 2 years ago when he was in jail.. They are lies. I mean.. What those letters said.. Most of the things never happened. So I have a hard time believing his letters now. I want to so bad.. but I honestly think all I know is hurt so I expect the worst no matter what. If there is a chance he can get a bail and be out until sentencing then I will be with him <3
Umm on other notes I'm still really poor.. It's getting really tough. I am trying to not smoke a 30 a day.. yet somehow it works out that I can. If I don't have money I get it somehow just in time. Or I get a free one or a cheap one or just something works out in my favor. Beat me why I get so lucky. I want to stop but I don't. I have no money for one tomorrow. I know I will get really depressed without smoking one. I wonder what 2 days without would be like? 3 days? I don't like to think about it. I'll have to soon though. Blah.
Fred needs to step up a dance. I only have $100 saved for March's rent so far. I will need rat food soon too. I stopped buying the cheaper bags of food at Pet Quarters & only buy them the good more expensive kind at Petco so it's costing me a bit more but the bags are bigger at least. I am running out of hamster food too. I also give that to the mice. I got the mice in 2 aquariums. 3 in each cage. I'm letting them all go the second spring hits & I know they wouldn't freeze outside. I'd like to move the hamsters into the aquariums once the mice are gone. Might move the hamsters in 2 old cages I had for the rats instead though. They both have tiny cages currently & I feel bad for them. Plus their cages are hard to clean. They both are the same $25 brand cage. I think the hamsters deserve better! So we shall see..
But yeah Fred needs to set up a dance asap. I need to stock up on rat food. I think I can get $432 by the 24th of this month towards rent then ask my parents for $200. They said they would help so I'm not worried. They know I only get 20 to 25 hours at work lately & I'm struggling.
I need the job at Diamonds so bad. So bad.. I could solve all my problems if I just had more money. I need money so bad. So bad :( I fooled around with someone for $20 hahaha. Someone I'd dated before so it was amusing he offered money. We weren't supposed to have sex though but I wanted it so bad & so did he. It was hot. And I needed to replace $20 since I took it out of my rent to get a 30. I had $20 already so figured I could replace it Friday when I get paid but now it's replaced :) I'm so bad.. I need to not tap into rent for a 30. I wont do it again. Tonight is my last night of fun cuz I dont have the money & I've run out of ideas how to get more money lol. Unless of course Fred buys me 1.. Hmm.. I hope he calls!
PS: Sarah randomly moved in. Paul is still here. My place is like home for the unemployed poor idiots apparently. It only benefits having either of them around slightly these days. I have my own drug connections outside of them so I don't need them for that. I can cook & clean so I don't need Paul for that anymore. They both don't really make it worth it for me to stay here! Other then buying food.. which is a big help since I dont really eat like I should to save food because I only get groceries once a month. So I do appreciate them for that. But Sarah helps herself to my clothes. she used too many towels when she showers & leaves them everywhere when they should be hung to dry. Paul is addicted to 30s & is a dick if he doesn't get them. He's annoying. I still like him though in certain ways but he gets on my nerves & I get bitchy. We argue a lot.
I think soon it is time to get my place back to myself. I am going to try my best to only smoke 30's like.. 3 days a week instead of 7! And I am going to do my best to get the job at Diamond's or I will not survive.. I don't make enough money anymore to live how I've been living :( I need money so nothing has to change.