Hmm
Leave Chicago or stay in Chicago?
That is the million dollar question at the moment. Do I stay here for grad school where I have my group of friends, ministry people whom I adore and a city that I've grown to love to an obscene amount or do I go back to Michigan to pay less money at a better school, have absolutely no friends and start over again when it would only be for a year? I really don't know. Part of me is honestly hoping that Michigan rejects me so I don't have to make the decision. But do I really want to be rejected from Michigan? No.
I pride myself on the fact that I left my comfort zone when I came to college. I moved to a different state with no friends and restarted my life. And what a life I have built for myself! I can't imagine having spent the past 4 years anywhere else. But now I am faced with the possibility of the unknown and instead of embracing it like I did 4 years ago I want absolutely nothing to do with it. The thought of having to rebuild my life when I'm only planning on staying a year doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun to me. My Mom said that I'd make friends there (classic Mom answer) but the question is, do I really want to make all new friends again? Sure it'd be nice to have friends when I return to Michigan so I'm not completely bored out of my mind and want to leave after 3 days. But is that what I truly want?
I have always prided myself on knowing where I want to go in life. The ends I'm still very sure about; it's the means that are so messed up I have no idea what to do.
That is the million dollar question at the moment. Do I stay here for grad school where I have my group of friends, ministry people whom I adore and a city that I've grown to love to an obscene amount or do I go back to Michigan to pay less money at a better school, have absolutely no friends and start over again when it would only be for a year? I really don't know. Part of me is honestly hoping that Michigan rejects me so I don't have to make the decision. But do I really want to be rejected from Michigan? No.
I pride myself on the fact that I left my comfort zone when I came to college. I moved to a different state with no friends and restarted my life. And what a life I have built for myself! I can't imagine having spent the past 4 years anywhere else. But now I am faced with the possibility of the unknown and instead of embracing it like I did 4 years ago I want absolutely nothing to do with it. The thought of having to rebuild my life when I'm only planning on staying a year doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun to me. My Mom said that I'd make friends there (classic Mom answer) but the question is, do I really want to make all new friends again? Sure it'd be nice to have friends when I return to Michigan so I'm not completely bored out of my mind and want to leave after 3 days. But is that what I truly want?
I have always prided myself on knowing where I want to go in life. The ends I'm still very sure about; it's the means that are so messed up I have no idea what to do.