No weights have been lifted...
So the whole Joe ordeal is finally over.
...So why don't I feel any better?
After, seriously, over one hundred calls from me to him he finally came to his senses today and stopped by and everything was going well...until he got mad and started dropping f-bombs like crazy and screaming at me over a C.D., over a freaking compact disc! I just don't understand, and you would think that I would be happy to have someone like that out of my life... but somehow I am not.
Something is still missing. But it is highly unlikely that I will ever figure that great mystery out.
I just really wish that people didn't perceive me as this huge witch all the time.
Anyway, on a lighter note, I am leaving for Kentucky on Thursday and I am atually borderline excited about it. Granted, it is just a short trip and I am not exactly thrilled at the company I will be in, it is still a break from here and the chaos that seems to gravitate toward me. Not necessarily chaos, more like, really bad vibes... if that makes any sense.
I am alone way too much now, it is insane! Most of the time I am pretty content though, learning to be a little more independent and not be so afraid of myself.
I figured out that my worst fear is death though, and I have been thinking about it a lot lately and it is kinda creeping me out. I don't know, I guess I just got to thinking about Papaw and the fact that he has been gone for seven years now... and I just miss him and sometimes when we get down to Gran's I walk down that hallway and go into the living room, I hope to see Pap there on the couch. It's weird I know, but I miss him. He believed in me, he BELIEVED ME, period.
So this wasn't much of a lighter note, but I am feeling a little better, having been able to spill my guts to lots of strangers. Theraputic I guess.
I feel like I am not the "only one" lately and that is refreshing. I like that feeling.
Maybe I should become a scientologist like Tom Cruise so that I can be at peace with myself and my surroundings, OH YEAH, and then I can go completely insane... Ok, no.
...So why don't I feel any better?
After, seriously, over one hundred calls from me to him he finally came to his senses today and stopped by and everything was going well...until he got mad and started dropping f-bombs like crazy and screaming at me over a C.D., over a freaking compact disc! I just don't understand, and you would think that I would be happy to have someone like that out of my life... but somehow I am not.
Something is still missing. But it is highly unlikely that I will ever figure that great mystery out.
I just really wish that people didn't perceive me as this huge witch all the time.
Anyway, on a lighter note, I am leaving for Kentucky on Thursday and I am atually borderline excited about it. Granted, it is just a short trip and I am not exactly thrilled at the company I will be in, it is still a break from here and the chaos that seems to gravitate toward me. Not necessarily chaos, more like, really bad vibes... if that makes any sense.
I am alone way too much now, it is insane! Most of the time I am pretty content though, learning to be a little more independent and not be so afraid of myself.
I figured out that my worst fear is death though, and I have been thinking about it a lot lately and it is kinda creeping me out. I don't know, I guess I just got to thinking about Papaw and the fact that he has been gone for seven years now... and I just miss him and sometimes when we get down to Gran's I walk down that hallway and go into the living room, I hope to see Pap there on the couch. It's weird I know, but I miss him. He believed in me, he BELIEVED ME, period.
So this wasn't much of a lighter note, but I am feeling a little better, having been able to spill my guts to lots of strangers. Theraputic I guess.
I feel like I am not the "only one" lately and that is refreshing. I like that feeling.
Maybe I should become a scientologist like Tom Cruise so that I can be at peace with myself and my surroundings, OH YEAH, and then I can go completely insane... Ok, no.