I'm addicted to you...and Mountain Dew
Anymore I feel like everything is all a formality. I feel like every person that I know is a stranger that you say Hello to in passing and that's it. All formality. I feel crazy. I KNOW that I am crazy, it's in my blood line, there is no avoiding it.
I want to trust more and I want to be able to talk to people without feeling weird about it. I feel like I don't make any sense to anyone, which makes me feel even more crazy.
There has been so much "drama" in my family lately. Not my immediate family, but those crazy hillbillies down south. Apparently cheating on your husband is normal and getting saved every couple weeks is completely alright. At least I know in the church of God I am completely fine no matter how many times that I sin.
BULLSHIT
Anyway, I am counting down the days until school is done for the semester. I want to claw my eyes out. I am such a procrastinator, but there is no excuse for it.
I applied for a job at Rite Aid, which I am guaranteed to get, I just don't really know if I want it. I have gotten so used to working for Mom, that regular work doesn't even seem natural.
WHO CARES!!??!!!?
No one, that is who.
Ever feel like you are missing something? Yeah, I know, everyone feels like that. But here lately, it is eating at me, and I really don't know what I am lacking or missing or need. I need fulfillment. I lack everything that everyone else has. I just don't even know anymore.
Joe moved in with Phil last weekend, which I think is dumb, but it's his life and I am working on not being so judgmental and listening more and talking less, so I haven't said anything............YET. I'm having a hard time with that. I also think that 21 year old boys should be able to balance their own bank accounts and pay their own bills... but that is just me butting in again.
If I go to school this summer, I will be able to graduate in December and get a REAL job in the REAL WORLD, that everyone talks so much about.
I want to trust more and I want to be able to talk to people without feeling weird about it. I feel like I don't make any sense to anyone, which makes me feel even more crazy.
There has been so much "drama" in my family lately. Not my immediate family, but those crazy hillbillies down south. Apparently cheating on your husband is normal and getting saved every couple weeks is completely alright. At least I know in the church of God I am completely fine no matter how many times that I sin.
BULLSHIT
Anyway, I am counting down the days until school is done for the semester. I want to claw my eyes out. I am such a procrastinator, but there is no excuse for it.
I applied for a job at Rite Aid, which I am guaranteed to get, I just don't really know if I want it. I have gotten so used to working for Mom, that regular work doesn't even seem natural.
WHO CARES!!??!!!?
No one, that is who.
Ever feel like you are missing something? Yeah, I know, everyone feels like that. But here lately, it is eating at me, and I really don't know what I am lacking or missing or need. I need fulfillment. I lack everything that everyone else has. I just don't even know anymore.
Joe moved in with Phil last weekend, which I think is dumb, but it's his life and I am working on not being so judgmental and listening more and talking less, so I haven't said anything............YET. I'm having a hard time with that. I also think that 21 year old boys should be able to balance their own bank accounts and pay their own bills... but that is just me butting in again.
If I go to school this summer, I will be able to graduate in December and get a REAL job in the REAL WORLD, that everyone talks so much about.