And so the saga continutes....
Ok, so I think this is going to be one of the hardest posts that I will ever have to make in my life. Work with me. I need everyone to pray for my family again. This time specific to my Dad. We got bad news today. I don't want this to sound bad, or horrible, but I have a feeling that it's going to. I've always said what can go wrong in our family does. This proves my point. Our family for some reason is being tried. I'm not sure why, but for some reason we are. And as I said before, what doesn't get us, makes us stronger. But damn, I can't handle this anymore. Here it comes....
Ok so I took Dad to the hospital on Monday for his 50 year birthday present. All men get it, not that big of a deal. They said after the test that the doctor found something that he didn't like the looks of, was already talking surgery at that point. Yeah, I picked up on the doctor speak, and knew it wasn't good. Ok, didn't say anything, well much of anything, to dad about it. Then we go to my doctor (and I've already posted on that so I'm not going to rehash). Ok, great. Dad got the call yesterday that he pathology report was back and he needed to come in to discuss it. That is bell #2. Bell #3 was when I called my Mom after school and she said Dad still hadn't called with his results (blatent lie, but that's what parents do to protect the ones they love). I called from work home tonight and Dad picked up the phone. He sounded like he was crying. They said he has colon cancer. I guess you could say that I had 'assumed' and knew, but it's still hard to hear it, and let me tell you it's not an easy phrase to say. And I knew that since Mom has already had to deal with it but it doesn't make it any easier.
I don't know how much more of this week I can take! There is just too damn much going on and I cannot handle it. Again, I know this sounds bad but what the fuck did we do to deserve all this at once? I understand that everyone, families included, to to be made aware once in a bit that they are not invincible. Ok, so Mom has bladder surgery 7 weeks ago and has been told 3 times now by the doctor that she has the worst bladder that they have ever seen. Then comes the entire month ordeal with my eyes and such. Now this. I feel like I'm on a rubber band and it's taught ready to snap. Above all this, I have a test at noon tomorrow, 2 papers due next week, a research paper in 3 week, a group presentation to research, work on planning and an informational brochure that need to be researched, planned and turned in in 2 weeks. Oh yeah, then finals.
I'm trying to stay optimistic, but this is very challenging. I don't want to do the 'I'm mad at everyone' thing because I know this happens. To be honest the 'C' word has always fascinated me because it's all stemming from 1 cell. This is one of the reasons I want to be a nurse, but this is my family we're talking about. I'm scared out of my mind. What if something goes wrong? I'm still so young and growing. I want my Dad there for this. *tear* Who's going to take me down the aisle? Who's going to be there to catch my baby? I'm a 'Daddy's Girl' through and through. Again, I understand being put on trial, but wasn't it enough with me? I just don't understand...I really don't. So for the sake of my family, I'm bottling this up. I need to be strong for them.
So again, please do whatever it is you do and help my family. If it's not one thing with us I swear it's something else. I feel like a begger, but if you can't beg for prayers and thoughts, what can you beg for?
Ok so I took Dad to the hospital on Monday for his 50 year birthday present. All men get it, not that big of a deal. They said after the test that the doctor found something that he didn't like the looks of, was already talking surgery at that point. Yeah, I picked up on the doctor speak, and knew it wasn't good. Ok, didn't say anything, well much of anything, to dad about it. Then we go to my doctor (and I've already posted on that so I'm not going to rehash). Ok, great. Dad got the call yesterday that he pathology report was back and he needed to come in to discuss it. That is bell #2. Bell #3 was when I called my Mom after school and she said Dad still hadn't called with his results (blatent lie, but that's what parents do to protect the ones they love). I called from work home tonight and Dad picked up the phone. He sounded like he was crying. They said he has colon cancer. I guess you could say that I had 'assumed' and knew, but it's still hard to hear it, and let me tell you it's not an easy phrase to say. And I knew that since Mom has already had to deal with it but it doesn't make it any easier.
I don't know how much more of this week I can take! There is just too damn much going on and I cannot handle it. Again, I know this sounds bad but what the fuck did we do to deserve all this at once? I understand that everyone, families included, to to be made aware once in a bit that they are not invincible. Ok, so Mom has bladder surgery 7 weeks ago and has been told 3 times now by the doctor that she has the worst bladder that they have ever seen. Then comes the entire month ordeal with my eyes and such. Now this. I feel like I'm on a rubber band and it's taught ready to snap. Above all this, I have a test at noon tomorrow, 2 papers due next week, a research paper in 3 week, a group presentation to research, work on planning and an informational brochure that need to be researched, planned and turned in in 2 weeks. Oh yeah, then finals.
I'm trying to stay optimistic, but this is very challenging. I don't want to do the 'I'm mad at everyone' thing because I know this happens. To be honest the 'C' word has always fascinated me because it's all stemming from 1 cell. This is one of the reasons I want to be a nurse, but this is my family we're talking about. I'm scared out of my mind. What if something goes wrong? I'm still so young and growing. I want my Dad there for this. *tear* Who's going to take me down the aisle? Who's going to be there to catch my baby? I'm a 'Daddy's Girl' through and through. Again, I understand being put on trial, but wasn't it enough with me? I just don't understand...I really don't. So for the sake of my family, I'm bottling this up. I need to be strong for them.
So again, please do whatever it is you do and help my family. If it's not one thing with us I swear it's something else. I feel like a begger, but if you can't beg for prayers and thoughts, what can you beg for?