i'm just being a crazy stressed out person, you don't have to read this (obviously)
maggie has been freaking out all night. for some reason she keeps barking at the door. it kindof makes me scared since dogs can see ghosts and all. she never barks, so it's really weird that she has barked so many times tonight. anyway, this morning my alarm clock didn't go off and i'm worried that it won't go off tomorrow morning. i can't be late for the same class twice in a row. in other news, i'm having a nervous breakdown. i don't want to grow up and get a job, but more realistically i'm afraid that all the people in my class (the ones i'm supposedly in heated competition for jobs with) are more into this law thing than me and will end up doing more cool stuff like clerking for judges or crazy internships and i won't be competitive enough to get the job i want and i'll have to settle with some dumb job in some town i don't want to be in (that's the most important thing really) and then i'll pretty much be stuck there because my life will start and it would be too much of an upheaval(el?) to just move somewhere else. my goal in life is to have my job be just this thing i have to do everyday but not make it like what life is about, but where you live is largely determined by where you can get a job and i don't want that. what if i end up having to live in orlando? or, even worse gainesville or TALLAHASSEE!!??? i can't think about it anymore. some people are already signed up to have on campus interviews for summer jobs. supposedly, the summer job you have this summer has a lot of influence to people who you want a job from next summer and the job you have next summer can really help you get a real job. but, i'll just be in destin for the summer so i won't have some great job or internship or whatever. i don't know, maybe it doesn't matter at all and i am obsessing over nothing. i'm going to make an appointment with a career services counselor tomorrow. i'm not even sure i want to be a lawyer now, but maybe that's just my cheap way of getting out of having to get a summer job and do interviews and network. i don't know, i can't imagine having any job, can you guys? i need to spend my summer surfing and sitting on the beach and fishing and stuff so hopefully it will be okay for me to work or volunteer or something for 2 or 3 days a week. anyway, it's ridiculous how long i've gone on about this. sorry.