(no subject)
look at me. i, once again, am invisible. sometimes i wish that i really coud turn invisible. at least then when i go for days at a time without anyone ever seeing me, i wouldn't feel bad about it.
and i feel like all i do is bitch and whine and moan and some days i'm so happy and giddy about things, but i know those ar ethe times i'm just burying stuff again. i worked so hard to open up and finally let people in. and i can feel it just sliding away and i am hiding again. torn between wanting to hide from everything and wanting to show myself and be myself and tell everyone around me to fuck off accept me or don't because i don't give a shit anyway. but instead i hide, and i'm once again turning into everything everyone around me wants me to be, or already sees me as. and i wish i could find myself again. because i had it, for like 2 months, i had it. and now it is gone and i am invisible again.
and i feel like all i do is bitch and whine and moan and some days i'm so happy and giddy about things, but i know those ar ethe times i'm just burying stuff again. i worked so hard to open up and finally let people in. and i can feel it just sliding away and i am hiding again. torn between wanting to hide from everything and wanting to show myself and be myself and tell everyone around me to fuck off accept me or don't because i don't give a shit anyway. but instead i hide, and i'm once again turning into everything everyone around me wants me to be, or already sees me as. and i wish i could find myself again. because i had it, for like 2 months, i had it. and now it is gone and i am invisible again.