Fuck Talent or Acumen. I NEED This...
I heard the creak of the front door's screen as the wind fervently gushed pass the porch with vigor and it evoked a bevy of thought. Unbeknown to me that such a common sound of the days I lead would invoke thoughts of previous evenings with you -- your smile, your big blue eyes that seemingly could envelop the sky; the way you rolled them in bother or amusement; how you looked when you slept; seeing you for lunch daily; you in despair crying on my shoulder.
I took a moment to let those thoughts settle and my emotions got the best of me. I find myself sad, aloof and meandering. I feel alone and I feel betrayed. In some strange way I cannot shake the idea that such a stark, sudden choice as brash as this to thoroughly disconnect could come so easily and with such dedication. After two years and countless instances posing as blockades to our progress as a unit, you gave up one me... On us. This must have been bread out of a long seeded thought that has manifested over time and is provoked by more than what is internal.
Personally, I find it cumbersome to procure an idea long enough to let is idle and set it. In reality, for me there is no answer. All that remains are the scattered items of a different life and perspective I was experiencing less than thirty-six hours ago. Instead, my thoughts are provocations for the indulgence into a tattered heart, a sore and depleted visage and the destruction of my comfort level, the evisceration of the reality of what I hold dear and the fact that no matter how hard I would work bone into gristle attempting to cajole a response from you that would assist this in moving forward positively is something you're not interested in.
I hate you for being so selfish. I am distraught at my openness and how it's let you affect me. In the end though, I am alone for having preferences and assuming that 'trying' and 'working through problems' isn't something you deem worthwhile. Just like me...
I took a moment to let those thoughts settle and my emotions got the best of me. I find myself sad, aloof and meandering. I feel alone and I feel betrayed. In some strange way I cannot shake the idea that such a stark, sudden choice as brash as this to thoroughly disconnect could come so easily and with such dedication. After two years and countless instances posing as blockades to our progress as a unit, you gave up one me... On us. This must have been bread out of a long seeded thought that has manifested over time and is provoked by more than what is internal.
Personally, I find it cumbersome to procure an idea long enough to let is idle and set it. In reality, for me there is no answer. All that remains are the scattered items of a different life and perspective I was experiencing less than thirty-six hours ago. Instead, my thoughts are provocations for the indulgence into a tattered heart, a sore and depleted visage and the destruction of my comfort level, the evisceration of the reality of what I hold dear and the fact that no matter how hard I would work bone into gristle attempting to cajole a response from you that would assist this in moving forward positively is something you're not interested in.
I hate you for being so selfish. I am distraught at my openness and how it's let you affect me. In the end though, I am alone for having preferences and assuming that 'trying' and 'working through problems' isn't something you deem worthwhile. Just like me...