More Writing on the Wall...
More Con/Ty stuff... from Ty's POV this time. Kind of sad... T_T
I wonder if anyone else cares... Ah, well. XD
A Chilly Sunday Morning
The air is starting to get a bit chilly these days and as they near the fifth mile of their run it starts to burn a little in his lungs. He doesn't mind, though; the view is worth it. And he's not thinking about the lake and the trees with their red-and-gold leaves, beautiful as they are, no... his eyes take in the far more enticing view of his lover's behind. One good thing about Con being in better running shape than him is that he always ends up running in front. An arrangement which works out to Ty's advantage as far as he's concerned. He'd bought Con the Dolce track pants and zip-up long-sleeve he's wearing today and it was money well spent in his opinion.
Con slows as they go round a bend in the path and the smell that wafts up is enough of a clue to figure out why: coffee. Just one more great thing about New York. He slows to a stop beside Con as his boy orders two extra talls, almost immediately reaching out to lay his hand on the small of his back, smoothing it around to curl over his hip. He takes the proffered coffee with his other hand, waiting a bit before taking a sip, still breathing a bit hard from the run.
"You alright?" Con asks, chuckling. His breathing had settled a lot faster than Ty's.
His eyes narrow as he nods in answer, not entirely sure, but thinking he's probably being teased. He's in good shape though, dammit. Just because he doesn't do an 8-mile run every morning... "I'm fine."
"You still aren't running back at school, are you? You're never used to it."
He just shakes his head. Who has the time? Between class and projects and the 5-hour drive every Friday night to get to New York just to spend the weekend here... a half-hour in the apartment gym each morning is about the best he can manage on his own. "You trying to tell me I'm not sexy anymore?"
"No," Con denies, chuckling again as Ty hugs him from behind, holding him close with one arm and nipping at his ear as they look out over the lake sipping their coffee. "I was definitely not saying that..."
"Have you thought any more about what we talked about?" he asks, thinking it safe to bring up the topic again, since they'd spoken last night.
"Moving to Cambridge?" Con shakes his head, but not necessarily like a 'no', more like he's not sure. "I haven't decided, yet. I have my job here, and friends..."
"Friends didn't keep you from leaving home in the first place... and you can find another job in Cambridge."
"Sure," Con huffs a little at that, "Finding a code monkey job with a barely-passing High School degree in a city full of MIT students... piece of cake."
"I'll find you a job," he insists, familiar with this argument by now. "If I do... will you at least consider taking it?"
Silence.
He sighs in frustration, feeling tense. Finally, he pulls his arm from around Con and sits down on a park bench, very careful not to let his foot start tapping, not wanting to make a scene in the midst of the Sunday-morning crowd, and smoothing a hand over his buzz-cut hair instead. "Why not? You know I can't just quit school."
"I know..." Con sighs too, clearly also frustrated as he takes the seat next to him and his foot does start tapping, sitting close enough that Ty can feel the jiggle against his thigh. He doesn't say anything for a while, and when he does, his voice is low, uncertain... "He's there."
Even that is enough to put a cold knife of jealousy through his chest. That Con still thinks... that even being in the same city as his ex will be a problem... makes him feel sick... uneasy. "Didn't you say he has someone else, now?"
Slight pause, another sigh, then a defeated, "Yes, but--"
"You haven't even talked to him in months."
"I know..."
"And you're with me."
"Yes..."
"Do you not want to be?"
More silence. Not the reaction he was hoping for, but not entirely unexpected either. When Con looks up again and he's able to catch his eyes, what he sees is like a long pause for breath, a hesitancy... an uncertainty... as if he wants to say one thing but isn't sure it's true. "I think I do," is what his lover eventually settles for.
"You think? I've been coming here for months and that's the best you can do? You 'think' you want to be with me?"
"Ty--"
"You haven't even told your Mom, yet. Or your sister. About us..."
"How am I supposed to tell them?"
"You just tell them, Con," he huffs, shaking his head. People are starting to glance their way, looking at them strange. He rubs his hair again, feeling his jaw getting tight. Why does he keep putting up with this kind of thing? Is the guy really worth it? Looking over at him, watching Con's own frustrated face, his confused, bright-green eyes... his heart hurts with longing. But does wanting someone so bad still mean it's worth being with them even when they're ashamed to be with you? The way his Mother had been, those last few years. "What do I have to do... to be worthy of you? Can you even tell me that?"
...
He's starting to hate the sound of silence.
"Let's just finish the run, okay?"
I wonder if anyone else cares... Ah, well. XD
A Chilly Sunday Morning
The air is starting to get a bit chilly these days and as they near the fifth mile of their run it starts to burn a little in his lungs. He doesn't mind, though; the view is worth it. And he's not thinking about the lake and the trees with their red-and-gold leaves, beautiful as they are, no... his eyes take in the far more enticing view of his lover's behind. One good thing about Con being in better running shape than him is that he always ends up running in front. An arrangement which works out to Ty's advantage as far as he's concerned. He'd bought Con the Dolce track pants and zip-up long-sleeve he's wearing today and it was money well spent in his opinion.
Con slows as they go round a bend in the path and the smell that wafts up is enough of a clue to figure out why: coffee. Just one more great thing about New York. He slows to a stop beside Con as his boy orders two extra talls, almost immediately reaching out to lay his hand on the small of his back, smoothing it around to curl over his hip. He takes the proffered coffee with his other hand, waiting a bit before taking a sip, still breathing a bit hard from the run.
"You alright?" Con asks, chuckling. His breathing had settled a lot faster than Ty's.
His eyes narrow as he nods in answer, not entirely sure, but thinking he's probably being teased. He's in good shape though, dammit. Just because he doesn't do an 8-mile run every morning... "I'm fine."
"You still aren't running back at school, are you? You're never used to it."
He just shakes his head. Who has the time? Between class and projects and the 5-hour drive every Friday night to get to New York just to spend the weekend here... a half-hour in the apartment gym each morning is about the best he can manage on his own. "You trying to tell me I'm not sexy anymore?"
"No," Con denies, chuckling again as Ty hugs him from behind, holding him close with one arm and nipping at his ear as they look out over the lake sipping their coffee. "I was definitely not saying that..."
"Have you thought any more about what we talked about?" he asks, thinking it safe to bring up the topic again, since they'd spoken last night.
"Moving to Cambridge?" Con shakes his head, but not necessarily like a 'no', more like he's not sure. "I haven't decided, yet. I have my job here, and friends..."
"Friends didn't keep you from leaving home in the first place... and you can find another job in Cambridge."
"Sure," Con huffs a little at that, "Finding a code monkey job with a barely-passing High School degree in a city full of MIT students... piece of cake."
"I'll find you a job," he insists, familiar with this argument by now. "If I do... will you at least consider taking it?"
Silence.
He sighs in frustration, feeling tense. Finally, he pulls his arm from around Con and sits down on a park bench, very careful not to let his foot start tapping, not wanting to make a scene in the midst of the Sunday-morning crowd, and smoothing a hand over his buzz-cut hair instead. "Why not? You know I can't just quit school."
"I know..." Con sighs too, clearly also frustrated as he takes the seat next to him and his foot does start tapping, sitting close enough that Ty can feel the jiggle against his thigh. He doesn't say anything for a while, and when he does, his voice is low, uncertain... "He's there."
Even that is enough to put a cold knife of jealousy through his chest. That Con still thinks... that even being in the same city as his ex will be a problem... makes him feel sick... uneasy. "Didn't you say he has someone else, now?"
Slight pause, another sigh, then a defeated, "Yes, but--"
"You haven't even talked to him in months."
"I know..."
"And you're with me."
"Yes..."
"Do you not want to be?"
More silence. Not the reaction he was hoping for, but not entirely unexpected either. When Con looks up again and he's able to catch his eyes, what he sees is like a long pause for breath, a hesitancy... an uncertainty... as if he wants to say one thing but isn't sure it's true. "I think I do," is what his lover eventually settles for.
"You think? I've been coming here for months and that's the best you can do? You 'think' you want to be with me?"
"Ty--"
"You haven't even told your Mom, yet. Or your sister. About us..."
"How am I supposed to tell them?"
"You just tell them, Con," he huffs, shaking his head. People are starting to glance their way, looking at them strange. He rubs his hair again, feeling his jaw getting tight. Why does he keep putting up with this kind of thing? Is the guy really worth it? Looking over at him, watching Con's own frustrated face, his confused, bright-green eyes... his heart hurts with longing. But does wanting someone so bad still mean it's worth being with them even when they're ashamed to be with you? The way his Mother had been, those last few years. "What do I have to do... to be worthy of you? Can you even tell me that?"
...
He's starting to hate the sound of silence.
"Let's just finish the run, okay?"