"I Still Ain't Over You" - The Rob Thomas Medley
Every time I hear "Problem Girl" by Rob Thomas, it always always without fail makes me think of Ray and Alex. Now these boys were once an item. When I first got Ray, he was, in fact, Alex's boyfriend (or... as much of a 'boyfriend' as Alex had ever had in his life up 'til that point). They lived together, and had been living together for years (that is to say, when Alex was in town, he lived with Ray).
Ray has been head-over-heels for Alex since the moment he laid eyes on the boy... but Alex's feelings were always a little more complicated than that. Alex does love Ray and cares for him a lot. Ray always made him feel safe and at home and comfortable and it was a very attractive feeling for Alex in the middle of the rest of his tumultuous life; Ray... was his safe spot - but that feeling doesn't exactly lend itself to intensity, if you know what I mean, and eventually Alex met someone else who really flipped him on his butt in the love department and that... was the end of Ray and Alex.
So now that Alex is once again alone and picking himself up after a severe devestation and depression, he's finding himself drawn back to those people and places that made him feel safe. He's looking for places to hide, and people to hide with, and one of those people, when he's in town, is Ray...
This is proving complicated for Ray, who is, if anyone doesn't know, dating Mischa - a boy who genuinely loves him. Finally...
So anyway... long story short, I took a bunch of pictures yesterday and while editing them was listening to some Rob Thomas and I thought hey, wouldn't it be interesting to do a photostory medley of Rob Thomas lyrics? XD Yes. Seriously. All dialogue in the following is actually song lyrics from Rob Thomas songs. What the heck, right?
The pictures were originally just intended to be pretty pictures, so there are no fantastic sets or anything, but there are plenty of shots of Alex's Dikadoll hands and DA-DA-DA!! ALEX!!! :D 'Cuz he's back~ New face and everything. :3 Belladonna did a great job capturing his character, I think - he looks different, but still like Alex, to me. Though everyone keeps telling me he looks younger? o_O
Anyhoo. Without further ado, I give you:
"I Still Ain't Over You" - The Rob Thomas Medley
Ray: He sighs as he feels familiar fingers sliding over his shoulders, "I just can't win for losing..."
Alex: Similarly familiar voice pleading softly as delicate fingers turn the boy's face to him, "Won’t you listen to me? I tried so hard to give you what you need..."
Ray: "Oh, well..." he sighs again in defeat as the tension runs out of him, "It never took a lot to make this hard. ‘Cuz you were so off balance, and I knew all the words to set you off."
Ray: Muttering to himself, "When you think it's over, it starts coming around again..."
Alex: Coming around to take Ray's hand, "Life is like a mean machine; it made a mess outta me. It left me caught between, like an angry dream. I was stranded."
Alex: "It’s hard for me, with my heart still on the mend..."
Alex: "It’s never easy, and you never know what leaves you crying and what makes you whole."
Alex: Wistful, he leans against Ray, "But it’s alright... why don’t you tell me again how you’ll still be there when the heartache ends?"
Ray: Squeezing Alex and shaking his head sadly, "Some people... it’s a pity." He shrugs, "They go all their lives and never know how to love..." Squeezing a bit more firmly to make his point, "Or to let love go. But it’s alright now. Call on me; I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me."
Ray: He stands, spilling Alex off his lap, "Let it go. Let it roll right off your shoulders. Don't you know? The hardest part is over. Let it in. Let your clarity define you. In the end, we will only just remember how it feels."
Ray: He pauses with his arms wrapped around Alex, a fine trembling in his gut, "...I don’t know how much more I can take..."
Alex: Quiet and still, "You’re the best thing I ever knew. You do everything that I can’t do. Sometimes... I get lost in my blue. Please forgive me if I’m hard on you." Pausing, he turns back to Ray, "Where do you turn when the world moves on?"
Ray: Softer now, his voice holding a low tremor, as if he knows his words are pointless even as they come out of his mouth, "Tell me that you want someone beside you. Tell me that you want to see this through. Tell me all the times that I’ve been loving you, you loved me. Love me too?"
Ray: Shaking his head, shoulders slumping - he knows he's always loved this boy more than he'd been loved by him, but that strangely has never mattered. "I don't mind if it's me you need to turn to. We'll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end."
Alex: Smiling a little shakily, "Now it seems to me that you know just what to say. But words are only words. Can you show me something else?" It's hard for him, hearing the sound of defeat in his one-time lover's words, but he can't help how he feels, can he? Can't help needing what the other boy offers, either. It's been so hard... "I don’t wanna hear about love no more. I don’t wanna talk about how I feel. I don’t really wanna be me no more..." Voice quiet as he goes on sadly, as if confessing, "You don’t wanna be me when it all goes wrong. You don’t wanna see me with the houselights on. I’m a little too headstrong..."
Alex: He rolls his bottom lip between his teeth, brow furrowing as if really wondering... "If I fall down... if I lose my place... and I don't know just where I'm s'posed to go or if you'll be there when I wake... Would you love me then?" He doesn't know if his guilt outweighs his need at this point, his gut trembling, but he says it anyway... he asks, "Stay with me tonight? Stay; I’m gonna need you when every little thing starts falling to pieces."
Ray: Sighing heavily in response, eyes almost closing before they open again and speaking with a weight in his voice that says he knows this boy isn't good for him, in so... so many ways, "This is our life. It's all that we get. The days are all numbered and the nights are all spent." Nosing Alex's ear, taking in the familiar fresh scent of him, words quiet and final, "I don't wanna love you now if you'll just leave some day. I don't wanna turn around if you'll just walk away."
Alex: "What if I was good to you?" He's sure he could be... for a night at least, "What if you were good to me?"
Ray: Shaking his head, "Maybe you and me got lost somewhere. We can't move on... We can't stay here. Maybe we've just had enough. Maybe we ain't meant for this love..."
* * *
Ray: Staring out at the sun setting over the river that splits the city in two, he sighs... he does that a lot when Alex comes around, he finds, "The world can be so cruel..."
Ray: Speaking as if Alex were listening, "I remember when you used to be shy. Yeah..." lips curling in a wistful smile, "Once we were so fine, you and I..." He loses even that soft smile as he adds a question, "Why you gotta make it so hard on me?"
Ray: "I’m sorry, but it’s not a mistake, and I’m running..." Shaking his head in a hesitant denial, wanting so much to be able to say 'no', "It’s just the same thing all the time - never get what I want, never get too close to the end of the line. You’re just the same thing that I knew back before the time when I was only for you."
Ray: Speaking over his shoulder as if to someone listening, "I’ve been looking for something." His voice lightens with the ease he finds speaking about his new boy - who even now is waiting for him at home, he knows, "Something I’ve never seen... We’re all looking for something."
Ray: Muttering as he loses the smile, "I should have never let you go. I need this more than you will know... but there's always another."
Alex: His voice easing out of the night as he wraps himself around Ray, "Where you running now, baby blue? Please don’t let it take me far from you. I’ve been restless, I’ve been a fool... Please forgive me if I’m hard on you." His fingers curl a little more desperately around the other's arm, his smile sad, familiar mix of guilt and helplessness and need making it harder to speak. "Look at me..." his voice a touch biting, sarcastic, "I'm made of wonderful. It's terrible... I'm all easy come and easy go, as far as you know. I come home tired, and I come home late. Everybody wants me, so I give it away." His voice is a soft whisper as he admits slowly, "I've been sleeping around... but I still ain't over you."
Ray: Wishing so hard to take the pain from the other's voice, even if it hurts him, his words come fast, excusing Alex as he's always done, "Everybody's got a different story. Everybody wanna give their selves away..." But after the excuses, he still finds a touch of... hesitation. He has things good right now. A boy who honestly... honestly loves him, "But I'm still afraid--"
Alex: Interupting the other's fear, pressing back into him, "I can’t stand what I’m starting to be... I can’t stand the people that I’m starting to need." He needs so badly to be with someone he feels safe with, someone he had never once doubted, someone who had never, and would never... he knows, never hurt him, "There’s so much now that can go wrong, and I don’t need somebody trying to help it along. It’s the same old song; everybody says, 'You’ve been away too long.' Everybody wanna tell you what went wrong..." He doesn't want to think about everything he's done, even though he knows he's made so many mistakes. That was then... "You’re not the best thing that I knew," he admits, knowing Ray deserves to hear the truth, "But here and now this is our time... and I may never find the meaning of life, but for this moment," leaning his head back against Ray's shoulder, "I am fine... All of my regret will wash away somehow." He gives a slow, sad, but accepting smile, "It’s a pretty fine mess I’m starting to make... but I can be there when you need it." His words picking up conviction, "I’ll give it all... ‘til you can’t feel it anymore."
Ray: Shaking his head and sighing again, wrapping his arms tighter around the other as he admits in defeat, "Man, there's so many times I don't know what I'm doin’. Like I don't know now... But you can never win. You can never lose. That’s the worst part; you can only say that what you want is where you are." His hand lifting to sweep through silky locks, pressing Alex's temple to his chest as he lays a kiss against his forehead, "Lay your head upon my shoulder. Lay your hand within my hand." For better or worse, he knows this will always be true, "I give you all that I am. Hold on to me, never leave... Forever be what you mean to me right now. Things will be alright. Try to find a better life, and when the kids on the street say, 'What’s your problem, girl?'And the weight of their smiles're just too much for you to bear. When they all make you feel like you’re a problem, girl. Remember... you’re no problem at all." Laying a hand against Alex's cheek, eyes serious as they find shining green, "You’re no problem... at all. And when the day has all but ended, and our echo starts to fade... you will not be alone then, you will not be afraid. No, I will not leave you crying, and I will not let you down... So just slide over here. Leave your fear in the fray. Ill tell you one thing, if you would leave it would be a crying shame." Voice quiet as he whispers, "In every breath and every word I hear your name calling me out. Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart. I still ain't over you."
Ray has been head-over-heels for Alex since the moment he laid eyes on the boy... but Alex's feelings were always a little more complicated than that. Alex does love Ray and cares for him a lot. Ray always made him feel safe and at home and comfortable and it was a very attractive feeling for Alex in the middle of the rest of his tumultuous life; Ray... was his safe spot - but that feeling doesn't exactly lend itself to intensity, if you know what I mean, and eventually Alex met someone else who really flipped him on his butt in the love department and that... was the end of Ray and Alex.
So now that Alex is once again alone and picking himself up after a severe devestation and depression, he's finding himself drawn back to those people and places that made him feel safe. He's looking for places to hide, and people to hide with, and one of those people, when he's in town, is Ray...
This is proving complicated for Ray, who is, if anyone doesn't know, dating Mischa - a boy who genuinely loves him. Finally...
So anyway... long story short, I took a bunch of pictures yesterday and while editing them was listening to some Rob Thomas and I thought hey, wouldn't it be interesting to do a photostory medley of Rob Thomas lyrics? XD Yes. Seriously. All dialogue in the following is actually song lyrics from Rob Thomas songs. What the heck, right?
The pictures were originally just intended to be pretty pictures, so there are no fantastic sets or anything, but there are plenty of shots of Alex's Dikadoll hands and DA-DA-DA!! ALEX!!! :D 'Cuz he's back~ New face and everything. :3 Belladonna did a great job capturing his character, I think - he looks different, but still like Alex, to me. Though everyone keeps telling me he looks younger? o_O
Anyhoo. Without further ado, I give you:
"I Still Ain't Over You" - The Rob Thomas Medley
Ray: He sighs as he feels familiar fingers sliding over his shoulders, "I just can't win for losing..."
Alex: Similarly familiar voice pleading softly as delicate fingers turn the boy's face to him, "Won’t you listen to me? I tried so hard to give you what you need..."
Ray: "Oh, well..." he sighs again in defeat as the tension runs out of him, "It never took a lot to make this hard. ‘Cuz you were so off balance, and I knew all the words to set you off."
Ray: Muttering to himself, "When you think it's over, it starts coming around again..."
Alex: Coming around to take Ray's hand, "Life is like a mean machine; it made a mess outta me. It left me caught between, like an angry dream. I was stranded."
Alex: "It’s hard for me, with my heart still on the mend..."
Alex: "It’s never easy, and you never know what leaves you crying and what makes you whole."
Alex: Wistful, he leans against Ray, "But it’s alright... why don’t you tell me again how you’ll still be there when the heartache ends?"
Ray: Squeezing Alex and shaking his head sadly, "Some people... it’s a pity." He shrugs, "They go all their lives and never know how to love..." Squeezing a bit more firmly to make his point, "Or to let love go. But it’s alright now. Call on me; I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me."
Ray: He stands, spilling Alex off his lap, "Let it go. Let it roll right off your shoulders. Don't you know? The hardest part is over. Let it in. Let your clarity define you. In the end, we will only just remember how it feels."
Ray: He pauses with his arms wrapped around Alex, a fine trembling in his gut, "...I don’t know how much more I can take..."
Alex: Quiet and still, "You’re the best thing I ever knew. You do everything that I can’t do. Sometimes... I get lost in my blue. Please forgive me if I’m hard on you." Pausing, he turns back to Ray, "Where do you turn when the world moves on?"
Ray: Softer now, his voice holding a low tremor, as if he knows his words are pointless even as they come out of his mouth, "Tell me that you want someone beside you. Tell me that you want to see this through. Tell me all the times that I’ve been loving you, you loved me. Love me too?"
Ray: Shaking his head, shoulders slumping - he knows he's always loved this boy more than he'd been loved by him, but that strangely has never mattered. "I don't mind if it's me you need to turn to. We'll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end."
Alex: Smiling a little shakily, "Now it seems to me that you know just what to say. But words are only words. Can you show me something else?" It's hard for him, hearing the sound of defeat in his one-time lover's words, but he can't help how he feels, can he? Can't help needing what the other boy offers, either. It's been so hard... "I don’t wanna hear about love no more. I don’t wanna talk about how I feel. I don’t really wanna be me no more..." Voice quiet as he goes on sadly, as if confessing, "You don’t wanna be me when it all goes wrong. You don’t wanna see me with the houselights on. I’m a little too headstrong..."
Alex: He rolls his bottom lip between his teeth, brow furrowing as if really wondering... "If I fall down... if I lose my place... and I don't know just where I'm s'posed to go or if you'll be there when I wake... Would you love me then?" He doesn't know if his guilt outweighs his need at this point, his gut trembling, but he says it anyway... he asks, "Stay with me tonight? Stay; I’m gonna need you when every little thing starts falling to pieces."
Ray: Sighing heavily in response, eyes almost closing before they open again and speaking with a weight in his voice that says he knows this boy isn't good for him, in so... so many ways, "This is our life. It's all that we get. The days are all numbered and the nights are all spent." Nosing Alex's ear, taking in the familiar fresh scent of him, words quiet and final, "I don't wanna love you now if you'll just leave some day. I don't wanna turn around if you'll just walk away."
Alex: "What if I was good to you?" He's sure he could be... for a night at least, "What if you were good to me?"
Ray: Shaking his head, "Maybe you and me got lost somewhere. We can't move on... We can't stay here. Maybe we've just had enough. Maybe we ain't meant for this love..."
* * *
Ray: Staring out at the sun setting over the river that splits the city in two, he sighs... he does that a lot when Alex comes around, he finds, "The world can be so cruel..."
Ray: Speaking as if Alex were listening, "I remember when you used to be shy. Yeah..." lips curling in a wistful smile, "Once we were so fine, you and I..." He loses even that soft smile as he adds a question, "Why you gotta make it so hard on me?"
Ray: "I’m sorry, but it’s not a mistake, and I’m running..." Shaking his head in a hesitant denial, wanting so much to be able to say 'no', "It’s just the same thing all the time - never get what I want, never get too close to the end of the line. You’re just the same thing that I knew back before the time when I was only for you."
Ray: Speaking over his shoulder as if to someone listening, "I’ve been looking for something." His voice lightens with the ease he finds speaking about his new boy - who even now is waiting for him at home, he knows, "Something I’ve never seen... We’re all looking for something."
Ray: Muttering as he loses the smile, "I should have never let you go. I need this more than you will know... but there's always another."
Alex: His voice easing out of the night as he wraps himself around Ray, "Where you running now, baby blue? Please don’t let it take me far from you. I’ve been restless, I’ve been a fool... Please forgive me if I’m hard on you." His fingers curl a little more desperately around the other's arm, his smile sad, familiar mix of guilt and helplessness and need making it harder to speak. "Look at me..." his voice a touch biting, sarcastic, "I'm made of wonderful. It's terrible... I'm all easy come and easy go, as far as you know. I come home tired, and I come home late. Everybody wants me, so I give it away." His voice is a soft whisper as he admits slowly, "I've been sleeping around... but I still ain't over you."
Ray: Wishing so hard to take the pain from the other's voice, even if it hurts him, his words come fast, excusing Alex as he's always done, "Everybody's got a different story. Everybody wanna give their selves away..." But after the excuses, he still finds a touch of... hesitation. He has things good right now. A boy who honestly... honestly loves him, "But I'm still afraid--"
Alex: Interupting the other's fear, pressing back into him, "I can’t stand what I’m starting to be... I can’t stand the people that I’m starting to need." He needs so badly to be with someone he feels safe with, someone he had never once doubted, someone who had never, and would never... he knows, never hurt him, "There’s so much now that can go wrong, and I don’t need somebody trying to help it along. It’s the same old song; everybody says, 'You’ve been away too long.' Everybody wanna tell you what went wrong..." He doesn't want to think about everything he's done, even though he knows he's made so many mistakes. That was then... "You’re not the best thing that I knew," he admits, knowing Ray deserves to hear the truth, "But here and now this is our time... and I may never find the meaning of life, but for this moment," leaning his head back against Ray's shoulder, "I am fine... All of my regret will wash away somehow." He gives a slow, sad, but accepting smile, "It’s a pretty fine mess I’m starting to make... but I can be there when you need it." His words picking up conviction, "I’ll give it all... ‘til you can’t feel it anymore."
Ray: Shaking his head and sighing again, wrapping his arms tighter around the other as he admits in defeat, "Man, there's so many times I don't know what I'm doin’. Like I don't know now... But you can never win. You can never lose. That’s the worst part; you can only say that what you want is where you are." His hand lifting to sweep through silky locks, pressing Alex's temple to his chest as he lays a kiss against his forehead, "Lay your head upon my shoulder. Lay your hand within my hand." For better or worse, he knows this will always be true, "I give you all that I am. Hold on to me, never leave... Forever be what you mean to me right now. Things will be alright. Try to find a better life, and when the kids on the street say, 'What’s your problem, girl?'And the weight of their smiles're just too much for you to bear. When they all make you feel like you’re a problem, girl. Remember... you’re no problem at all." Laying a hand against Alex's cheek, eyes serious as they find shining green, "You’re no problem... at all. And when the day has all but ended, and our echo starts to fade... you will not be alone then, you will not be afraid. No, I will not leave you crying, and I will not let you down... So just slide over here. Leave your fear in the fray. Ill tell you one thing, if you would leave it would be a crying shame." Voice quiet as he whispers, "In every breath and every word I hear your name calling me out. Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart. I still ain't over you."