(no subject)
ohh my kelli...this is so for you.....you wanna know...hmmm....::sigh:: all i can think about is steve....when don't i anyway...but now that i know he wont be near me...like he was b4..lol....but i wont be able to say "goodbye" and stuff still lingers in the back of my mind...so one terrific day i was outside with ant and stas and i looked up to the stars and thought about it and basically had an emotional breakdown.....so theni went into the trail to calm myself then stas followed with its gonna be okies....so he hugged me and said you got your two friends here with you....and i said yes....but obviously that wasn't good enuff for ant...b/c then he flipped his shit on my standing practically a foot away from my face saying how much im a bitch and how he doesn't give a fuck about me anymore.....that i was fucking stupid the whole time...now this obviously didn't help the situation so i cried some more....so now all he does is talk shit about me.....and im sick of it and i can't wait to go up there to get away from it.....well then i stayed home from skool the next day.....and actualy contemplated being here.....which i rarely do...so i took a bath and almost died...and we'll leave it at that......nothing to special goin on though.....trying to get over the fact that i can never put my trust into people at all....i trusted my grandfather....look what happened to that...i trusted ant....and wtf...i trusted steve....and he left me......it seems like i have to put up this wall around people so they don't get to me.....b/c if they do i think they'll hurt me.....like its happened too many times....and i need a break from it...i wanna let go of it....and i know i can around you kelli....i hope you never do anything like that to me.....well anything else we can discuss personally....i guess.....
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
ohh and ps....if you know who sings a song that goes somehwta like this tell me.......
"turn out the light, just say goodnight to yourself...etc. ....hes got your picture in his mind, hes got your number at his disposal anytime...etc. "