(no subject)
Life is nothing more than a set of memories, woven together by a single thread. Who are we to question this existence, the fabric of our lives? When we grow old, we no longer have our lives; we have only our memories and the little bit of existence still granted us by God. Who are we to question what we have been given?...
In the end, I spent my whole life questioning. I questioned why things had happened the way they did. I questioned life, I questioned death. I questioned you, and me, and the whys and wherefores. I questioned even God; I blessed him, I cursed him. But in the end, the question never really was of any of these things. In fact, at this point in my life I no longer remember the question. I can remember only the answer, and that was you, Lilly. You were the answer to my every question, my every thought, my every need and want and prayer.
And now, as I sit here looking at you, I think back to everything that was, that is, and could have been. I had so many hopes and dreams in life, Lilly, and you were a part of all of them. Now here we are, at the end of life, and my hopes, my dreams, well, they’re all gone, Lilly. The only thing I have left are pictures, sights, sounds, faded memories set to the music you created the first time I saw you.
What am I to do now, Lilly? What am I to be? I spent my life spinning castles in the air, wishing that someday you would come to be their queen. Now I no longer have that option. There is not a day that has gone by that I hadn’t wished my life - our lives -had been different. And yet, there is no other way our lives could have gone. We both had separate paths to travel - sometimes they intersected, sometimes they swerved away from each other, and sometimes they traveled together. Even though I tried to follow your path, tried to follow the path I felt you wanted me to lead, tried to follow you, I couldn’t always see. There were so many times I felt alone, so many times I couldn’t see you, and I felt you were walking away from me.
But now, I see you were always there beside me, loving me the only way you knew how. And now that you are gone too, I have only to follow you as I always have and hope to meet you on the other side of Heaven…
In the end, I spent my whole life questioning. I questioned why things had happened the way they did. I questioned life, I questioned death. I questioned you, and me, and the whys and wherefores. I questioned even God; I blessed him, I cursed him. But in the end, the question never really was of any of these things. In fact, at this point in my life I no longer remember the question. I can remember only the answer, and that was you, Lilly. You were the answer to my every question, my every thought, my every need and want and prayer.
And now, as I sit here looking at you, I think back to everything that was, that is, and could have been. I had so many hopes and dreams in life, Lilly, and you were a part of all of them. Now here we are, at the end of life, and my hopes, my dreams, well, they’re all gone, Lilly. The only thing I have left are pictures, sights, sounds, faded memories set to the music you created the first time I saw you.
What am I to do now, Lilly? What am I to be? I spent my life spinning castles in the air, wishing that someday you would come to be their queen. Now I no longer have that option. There is not a day that has gone by that I hadn’t wished my life - our lives -had been different. And yet, there is no other way our lives could have gone. We both had separate paths to travel - sometimes they intersected, sometimes they swerved away from each other, and sometimes they traveled together. Even though I tried to follow your path, tried to follow the path I felt you wanted me to lead, tried to follow you, I couldn’t always see. There were so many times I felt alone, so many times I couldn’t see you, and I felt you were walking away from me.
But now, I see you were always there beside me, loving me the only way you knew how. And now that you are gone too, I have only to follow you as I always have and hope to meet you on the other side of Heaven…