(no subject)
i'm in maui right now.
i'm online.
this is pathetic.
being alone with my own thoughts like this for so long is dangerous.
i'm re-routing my life.
i'm overthinking everything.
i'm convincing myself that people bore me.
the only upside to being here is that i'm finding inspiration.
inspiration that stems from hatred..but inspiration nonetheless.
i've been writing again, which i haven't done in years.
i'm wondering if my entire life will be like this..this cycle..this wanting to be one thing and then changing my mind.
this endless push and pull on where i want to end up.
i remembered the other day how much i hate phonecalls.
they make me nervous.
i like facial expressions and hand gestures.
not being able to see the person on the other end makes me dizzy.
i have so much to do when i get back..
i have to register for a bunch of classes that i will end up regretting how i handled.
i have to sell my car.
i have to find another job in tempe.
i have to find an apartment. [this is the only exciting thing on the list, except for the stress that i have over how i'm going to be able to pay for it.]
i watched the sunrise over haleakala early this morning.
we had to get up at 2am to make the trip up there.
it was unbelievable.
i'm going to go jump in the ocean and float on..
i hope my sanity is waiting for me at home...i miss it.
i'm online.
this is pathetic.
being alone with my own thoughts like this for so long is dangerous.
i'm re-routing my life.
i'm overthinking everything.
i'm convincing myself that people bore me.
the only upside to being here is that i'm finding inspiration.
inspiration that stems from hatred..but inspiration nonetheless.
i've been writing again, which i haven't done in years.
i'm wondering if my entire life will be like this..this cycle..this wanting to be one thing and then changing my mind.
this endless push and pull on where i want to end up.
i remembered the other day how much i hate phonecalls.
they make me nervous.
i like facial expressions and hand gestures.
not being able to see the person on the other end makes me dizzy.
i have so much to do when i get back..
i have to register for a bunch of classes that i will end up regretting how i handled.
i have to sell my car.
i have to find another job in tempe.
i have to find an apartment. [this is the only exciting thing on the list, except for the stress that i have over how i'm going to be able to pay for it.]
i watched the sunrise over haleakala early this morning.
we had to get up at 2am to make the trip up there.
it was unbelievable.
i'm going to go jump in the ocean and float on..
i hope my sanity is waiting for me at home...i miss it.