My life is coming together.
I am going from a naive little child to a full grown adult. I still act like a kid, I don't deny that. I will always act like one but, at the same time I am growing up and taking responsibility. I am going to be having a baby. The more I think about it the more I want to make myself an adult. The more I want to grow up and be responsible. I never thought that I would want that. I do though. You have no idea how badly I want to grow up. I want to make sure that our baby has everything that it needs and wants. Well, not everything because I don't want him/her to think that they will always get everything that they want. I don't want our kid to be a snob or anything. I don't really think that I could have a snobby child though. Just look at me. I am the farthest thing from a snob. I like everyone even when they treat me like shit. I think that is one of my biggest flaws. I just always give people the benefit of the doubt. I want to let people have the chance to prove themselves or make up for their mistakes. I guess this is because I want to be treated that way. I guess I am just a good person. I actually treat people the way I would like to be treated. I really sound like I am being conceited but, I'm not. I am just realizing things about myself.
Anyway, Adam and I are getting married on the 18th of June. I think his mom is going to pay for it. I am not sure. I don't care who pays for it. I just want it to happen. I really never wanted to elope. I have always wanted to have a wedding. I want the day I get married to be memorable. Not on the steps of the courthouse. I mean if that was all that we could afford then I would because money doesn't mean much to me. As long as I get to spend it with Adam. I love him so much. I really do. Sometimes he aggravates me or upsets me but, that would happen with anyone. On the other hand the great things that happen when I am with him and the love that we have for each other I couldn't ever have that with anyone else. Even when I was with Ryan, my first real relationship/love, I never felt this close to him. I never felt the love this strong. It is like me and Adam are meant to be together and the path is supposed to be this hard. Once we get there it will all be worth it. I can't wait for the day when we are financially stable and we are totally happy about everything in our lives. I am very happy don't get me wrong. It is just the money situation makes me sad some times. Not because I don't have money but, because I don't have the things I need or want all the time. Like if I needed to get butter for cooking or something I don't have the money right now to just go get it. You see what I mean? O well, I am done writing now. My legs and butt are going numb... and I'm not old.
Love Mommy.
Anyway, Adam and I are getting married on the 18th of June. I think his mom is going to pay for it. I am not sure. I don't care who pays for it. I just want it to happen. I really never wanted to elope. I have always wanted to have a wedding. I want the day I get married to be memorable. Not on the steps of the courthouse. I mean if that was all that we could afford then I would because money doesn't mean much to me. As long as I get to spend it with Adam. I love him so much. I really do. Sometimes he aggravates me or upsets me but, that would happen with anyone. On the other hand the great things that happen when I am with him and the love that we have for each other I couldn't ever have that with anyone else. Even when I was with Ryan, my first real relationship/love, I never felt this close to him. I never felt the love this strong. It is like me and Adam are meant to be together and the path is supposed to be this hard. Once we get there it will all be worth it. I can't wait for the day when we are financially stable and we are totally happy about everything in our lives. I am very happy don't get me wrong. It is just the money situation makes me sad some times. Not because I don't have money but, because I don't have the things I need or want all the time. Like if I needed to get butter for cooking or something I don't have the money right now to just go get it. You see what I mean? O well, I am done writing now. My legs and butt are going numb... and I'm not old.
Love Mommy.