(no subject)
Grumpy. It's baseless, I know, but that doesn't change it. Last night I talked to him for an hour and a half which usually makes it all better, but I just felt worse when I hung up and laid on my back on the floor in the dark, trying to pin down WHY I'm so grumpy. Maybe I miss him more than I realize. And I'm suddenly so insecure about it.
And I am SO grumpy. Today at work there was a string of like six old, clueless women who asked me really vague questions like, "Do you have that CD by the two women who sing?" and then were upset when I didn't know what the FUCK they were talking about. And the crazy old man who came in and lectured me about history books and how modern technology's going to bring about the downfall of humanity. I revealed that I'm considering a religion major and he launched into this speech about how religion is a farce and the "the opiate of the masses" (he delivered this as if he were the first person to have such a revolutionary thought) and I just wanted to grab my ears and shriek "Shut UP shut UP shut UP." I'll order your obscure war texts on e-bay because you're too crusty to get a computer -- or a PHONE -- but I am not an audience for your philosophy. I fucking hate retail.
More than that, I hate being alone all the time. Yesterday I woke up early and drove to Iowa City just so I wouldn't be sitting in my house starting at walls and talking to myself. It was good to see Abe and I'm glad I went, and on the way home I stopped at Grinnell and saw Glenn and Tim which really made my day. I didn't want to leave - Grinnell felt enough like Carleton. I had a book in my purse, and I really just wanted to find a corner to read it in and pretend to be a student there, just to be near someone, anyone.
Whine, whine, whine.
And I am SO grumpy. Today at work there was a string of like six old, clueless women who asked me really vague questions like, "Do you have that CD by the two women who sing?" and then were upset when I didn't know what the FUCK they were talking about. And the crazy old man who came in and lectured me about history books and how modern technology's going to bring about the downfall of humanity. I revealed that I'm considering a religion major and he launched into this speech about how religion is a farce and the "the opiate of the masses" (he delivered this as if he were the first person to have such a revolutionary thought) and I just wanted to grab my ears and shriek "Shut UP shut UP shut UP." I'll order your obscure war texts on e-bay because you're too crusty to get a computer -- or a PHONE -- but I am not an audience for your philosophy. I fucking hate retail.
More than that, I hate being alone all the time. Yesterday I woke up early and drove to Iowa City just so I wouldn't be sitting in my house starting at walls and talking to myself. It was good to see Abe and I'm glad I went, and on the way home I stopped at Grinnell and saw Glenn and Tim which really made my day. I didn't want to leave - Grinnell felt enough like Carleton. I had a book in my purse, and I really just wanted to find a corner to read it in and pretend to be a student there, just to be near someone, anyone.
Whine, whine, whine.