Friendly fire (1/2)rose_in_shadowApril 4 2012, 19:20:11 UTC
[minor spoilers for Joker and EDI]
Jeff was quiet.
That in itself wasn't too unusual. Despite his reputation, EDI knew that Jeff was often silent when concentrating on his job. But recently, since she had acquired her mobile platform, his speech patterns had altered subtly, including frequency of occurrence.
EDI ran an analysis of his speech habits over the past week, cross-referencing them with changes in behavior and routine. One bit of data stood out to her.
"You are upset, Jeff."
He glanced over at her, eyebrow raised--human facial expression analysis: confusion.
"What? No I'm not."
"Clarification: sexual intercourse with me has not resulted in expected physical or relational benefits."
Jeff's hands jerked on the haptic interfaces. In Engineering, EDI heard Donnelly swear loudly as one of the internal heat monitors spiked. She corrected it and the red-haired engineer blew out a breath in relief and turned to share a joke with Daniels.
"W-why would you think that?" Jeff said, not looking at her. Human behavioral analysis: Discomfort.
"Recording, Sol time, Tuesday, twenty-one hundred hours," EDI replied, then set her internal speakers to project from her mouth. She saw Jeff hunch over as he heard his own voice come from her mouth:
"This... this isn't working, EDI."
"Are you hurt, Jeff? I have followed all of Dr. Solus' suggestions for minimal physical discomfort."
"No, it's not that... Damn it. It's just... well, it's different with... with organics. You're... cold. It's making things... difficult. Not to mention... you don't really have... the parts?" A muffled sigh came over the recording. "This is the most awkward conversation of my life."
"If this unit overheats, it will shut down."
"Right. So, yeah. Listen, I'm tired anyway. I'm going to hit the hay. See you tomorrow."
"Recording ended."
The cockpit fell silent again. EDI looked at Jeff. He had pulled his cap down far enough to hide his expression, but the skin on his cheeks was ruddy. Human physiological analysis: deep embarrassment.
EDI saw Lieutenant Commander Williams approach with her CIC cameras and opened the door.
"Hey flyboy," the dark-haired woman sauntered up to the pilot's chair with a roll in her hips that EDI had unsuccessfully tried to emulate. L-C Williams reached down and squeezed Jeff's shoulder, leaning down to kiss him on the lips.
"Whoa, hey," Jeff said with a nervous chuckle. "A little PDA there, doll."
Ash glanced up around the cockpit, her eyes finally falling on EDI's infiltration unit. "What? EDI? It's a robot, Joker. It doesn't care."
"EDI's more than just a 'bot," Jeff protested, but EDI's fine-tuned aural sensors detected much less vehemence than the last time he had defended her personhood.
"Right. Well, you can have plenty of time to explain the specifics to me tonight, okay?" L-C Williams kissed him again and left. EDI watched with her cameras as LC Williams made her way down to the Crew Deck and stopped in the mess.
Re: Friendly fire (2/2)rose_in_shadowApril 4 2012, 19:23:42 UTC
"I... I'm sorry you had to find out like that." Jeff said into the silence.
EDI turned her head, blinking. She'd learned that if she didn't blink the eyes of the infiltration unit - though she did not need to - the crew was much more inclined to behave as if she were a "robot." "I knew about your relationship with Lieutenant Commander Williams, Jeff."
He cringed. "But... how? We've only been... together on the Citadel."
"Lieutenant Commander Williams feels no need to deceive me."
Jeff cringed again.
"She and Commander Shepard have been talking about the re-establishment of your relationship with some enthusiasm."
Jeff groaned, dragging a hand over his face. Human behavior analysis: extreme embarrassment.
EDI felt... something. But running an inner diagnostic revealed no hardware or software malfunctions. She stood. "I am taking this unit to maintenance."
"Oh, okay. Good. Uh, see you later." Human voice analysis: relief.
Shepard found EDI standing in the AI core, still except for the lines of data running through her visor.
"Alright there, EDI?"
"Shepard, I am trying to determine my malfunction. I feel something analogous to what humans would call pain, but I can detect no errors in hardware or software."
"Well, what's been going on?"
"Jeff is unsatisfied with me as a sexual partner and has resumed a relationship with Lieutenant Commander Williams." EDI paused. That was a logical statement, true and a complete statement of fact. But why would her software bring that to the top of possible answers to Shepard's question?
Shepard's face softened. Human expression analysis: pity, compassion.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
EDI considered. "Oral examination of the events with an objective party might be helpful," she said, altering her speech parameters to add vocal inflection indicating acceptance and want.
=======
So... I woke up from a Mass Effect dream one week and in that weird half-asleep, half-awake state, I had to wonder what exactly Joker was expecting with his relationship to EDI and what the realities might be. Also, my forever tears for no canon Joker/Ashley.
Re: Friendly fire (2/2)rose_in_shadowApril 4 2012, 21:34:53 UTC
Thanks!
a pretty realistic view of what might happen if they tried to go physical).
Yeah. The seeds of this idea also came from learning about the ambient dialogue Shepard can overhear when Mordin's still on the ship. Joker calls for... "advice" pretty much indicating that he's intending to try a sexual relationship. And... given what EDI's body is... I reaally can't imagine that she has the necessary equipment for it to be even close to what organics experience. *cough*
Re: Friendly fire (2/2)thirteenthchimeApril 5 2012, 03:26:01 UTC
Given creepy, insane TIM, his vast resources, and his creepy, obsessive attachment to the original Eva, I wouldn't be surprised if he managed to pull it off. But regardless, I think that the awkwardness might still remain for Joker. But then, I'm partial to Joker/Ashley and was a bit creeped out by his romance with EDI. Weirdly, less because of the fact that she's a robot and more because of how he treated her. Ash wouldn't put up with that shit. But I really enjoyed being inside EDI's head for this piece, because I like her POV - not quite human, but oh so close. I enjoy her blunt honesty.
Jeff was quiet.
That in itself wasn't too unusual. Despite his reputation, EDI knew that Jeff was often silent when concentrating on his job. But recently, since she had acquired her mobile platform, his speech patterns had altered subtly, including frequency of occurrence.
EDI ran an analysis of his speech habits over the past week, cross-referencing them with changes in behavior and routine. One bit of data stood out to her.
"You are upset, Jeff."
He glanced over at her, eyebrow raised--human facial expression analysis: confusion.
"What? No I'm not."
"Clarification: sexual intercourse with me has not resulted in expected physical or relational benefits."
Jeff's hands jerked on the haptic interfaces. In Engineering, EDI heard Donnelly swear loudly as one of the internal heat monitors spiked. She corrected it and the red-haired engineer blew out a breath in relief and turned to share a joke with Daniels.
"W-why would you think that?" Jeff said, not looking at her. Human behavioral analysis: Discomfort.
"Recording, Sol time, Tuesday, twenty-one hundred hours," EDI replied, then set her internal speakers to project from her mouth. She saw Jeff hunch over as he heard his own voice come from her mouth:
"This... this isn't working, EDI."
"Are you hurt, Jeff? I have followed all of Dr. Solus' suggestions for minimal physical discomfort."
"No, it's not that... Damn it. It's just... well, it's different with... with organics. You're... cold. It's making things... difficult. Not to mention... you don't really have... the parts?" A muffled sigh came over the recording. "This is the most awkward conversation of my life."
"If this unit overheats, it will shut down."
"Right. So, yeah. Listen, I'm tired anyway. I'm going to hit the hay. See you tomorrow."
"Recording ended."
The cockpit fell silent again. EDI looked at Jeff. He had pulled his cap down far enough to hide his expression, but the skin on his cheeks was ruddy. Human physiological analysis: deep embarrassment.
EDI saw Lieutenant Commander Williams approach with her CIC cameras and opened the door.
"Hey flyboy," the dark-haired woman sauntered up to the pilot's chair with a roll in her hips that EDI had unsuccessfully tried to emulate. L-C Williams reached down and squeezed Jeff's shoulder, leaning down to kiss him on the lips.
"Whoa, hey," Jeff said with a nervous chuckle. "A little PDA there, doll."
Ash glanced up around the cockpit, her eyes finally falling on EDI's infiltration unit. "What? EDI? It's a robot, Joker. It doesn't care."
"EDI's more than just a 'bot," Jeff protested, but EDI's fine-tuned aural sensors detected much less vehemence than the last time he had defended her personhood.
"Right. Well, you can have plenty of time to explain the specifics to me tonight, okay?" L-C Williams kissed him again and left. EDI watched with her cameras as LC Williams made her way down to the Crew Deck and stopped in the mess.
The cockpit was silent once more.
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EDI turned her head, blinking. She'd learned that if she didn't blink the eyes of the infiltration unit - though she did not need to - the crew was much more inclined to behave as if she were a "robot." "I knew about your relationship with Lieutenant Commander Williams, Jeff."
He cringed. "But... how? We've only been... together on the Citadel."
"Lieutenant Commander Williams feels no need to deceive me."
Jeff cringed again.
"She and Commander Shepard have been talking about the re-establishment of your relationship with some enthusiasm."
Jeff groaned, dragging a hand over his face. Human behavior analysis: extreme embarrassment.
EDI felt... something. But running an inner diagnostic revealed no hardware or software malfunctions. She stood. "I am taking this unit to maintenance."
"Oh, okay. Good. Uh, see you later." Human voice analysis: relief.
Shepard found EDI standing in the AI core, still except for the lines of data running through her visor.
"Alright there, EDI?"
"Shepard, I am trying to determine my malfunction. I feel something analogous to what humans would call pain, but I can detect no errors in hardware or software."
"Well, what's been going on?"
"Jeff is unsatisfied with me as a sexual partner and has resumed a relationship with Lieutenant Commander Williams." EDI paused. That was a logical statement, true and a complete statement of fact. But why would her software bring that to the top of possible answers to Shepard's question?
Shepard's face softened. Human expression analysis: pity, compassion.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
EDI considered. "Oral examination of the events with an objective party might be helpful," she said, altering her speech parameters to add vocal inflection indicating acceptance and want.
=======
So... I woke up from a Mass Effect dream one week and in that weird half-asleep, half-awake state, I had to wonder what exactly Joker was expecting with his relationship to EDI and what the realities might be. Also, my forever tears for no canon Joker/Ashley.
Prompts:
+ Out of the night
+ My unconquerable soul
+ I'm fluent in BS
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(And also not shying away from the emotional content of EDI/Joker, but a pretty realistic view of what might happen if they tried to go physical).
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a pretty realistic view of what might happen if they tried to go physical).
Yeah. The seeds of this idea also came from learning about the ambient dialogue Shepard can overhear when Mordin's still on the ship. Joker calls for... "advice" pretty much indicating that he's intending to try a sexual relationship. And... given what EDI's body is... I reaally can't imagine that she has the necessary equipment for it to be even close to what organics experience. *cough*
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