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This is explicit and personal, and don't read it if you don't want to know intimate details about my sex life. If you want to know, and want to understand, and want to get pissed off, and want to maybe understand yourself better...
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Ready?! Here goes:
First off, I totally give you some major kudos for posting this, it's incredibly hard to open up about sex, whether it's to friends, other lovers or online. So good for you for being so open about the entire thing.
Second, My experiences with sex have been a bit different than yours. Considering I've been in three major relationships (one lasting 7 months, one lasting 2 years and one lasting just a little short of 2 years) I have only had sexual intercourse with one person. Before this past November I have been the "everything but" girl. I'm one of those people that have been participating in oral sex etc. for far longer than I have been having actual intercourse. I considered myself a virgin until a few months ago, despite my high number of partners with whom I "fooled around".
My reasoning for waiting so long for before having intercourse was simply because I wanted it to be special. I knew that when the moment and the person felt right, it would happen. And I was in no rush to get it "over and done with". Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't want candles and a romantic dinner beforehand or anything, but I wanted to know that whoever made love with me for the first time had to have it mean something to them. I don't enjoy the idea of sleeping with someone just for the physical satisfaction, for me, there has to be a deeper emotional connection with the person. So this past November, after waiting for a very long time, I was able to completely let go with a man who is 7 years older than me.
Unlike the movies, losing my virginity was tedious and far from enjoyable. Being only 5 foot 1 and not more than 100 pounds, my body was built TINY. Little did I realize how much this would affect my sexual experience with someone who... well... needed Magnum XLs. To this day, I have never had a proper and physically enjoyable sexual experience.
Now, what makes me so happy about my sexual experiences is this: despite being in pain during my sexual experiences these past few months, every time my partner has been inside of me, he has been looking into my eyes and encouraging me. He never pressured me, never made me feel uncomfortable and always was making sure I was alright. With these small things, my sexual experiences have been everything emotional I could have ever hoped for. I know that the one person I have given myself to wholly loves me, cares for me and wants sex to be enjoyable for me as a small-built person and will therefore sacrifice his desire to cum until I am fully comfortable and happy. This, to me, is the way sex should be.
I have been picky and I have been picky about my sexual experience. And overall, I believe it paid off. I don't regret anything I have done sexually. I have learned so much from my experiences and I realize how lucky I am to have had things go the way that have.
I agree that women need to realize that sex can be enjoyable. It is necessary to receive love whilst making love. And no articles in Cosmo can explain just what it feels like to make love for real.
I'm glad you are trying to spread the message that sex can be fun, it can be lovely, it can be sparks and fireworks and romance. Everyone needs to have good experiences in bed and be open with their lovers about what makes them feel good.
Umm... yeah. I'm sure I'll come up with more... Just give me time.
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