Summary Executions: Greatest Hits

[mctabby]

Summary Executions is still taking its post-HBP break, but this is a special burst of nostalgia to celebrate the existence of 30 batches - and the reappearance of Death-Curse.com's fiction section, now HPStories.com.

Ten summaries hand-picked from each batch, all the way back to the first one in March 2003. Enjoy! ;)

Comments

[catherinecookmn]

What's really funny is when the author strives to be hip and ironic and only succeeds in... well... you tell me what she succeeded in doing:

# Remus Lupin is lonely. Mysterious Cliche Ckick X enters Hogwarts. Story takes place in sixth year circa 1976. Surprisingly low character distorion.

[mctabby]

My all-time favorite is very simple:

Harry Potter returns in his fifth year to find a transfer student from Scotland.

This summary rules. :D

[catherinecookmn]

You are Vladimir Nabokov's secret granddaughter, and I claim my five hundred roubles.

[mctabby]

*squees nostalgically at icon* And thanks to the sudden reincarnation of Death-Curse, that summary still exists! PERPOSTERICE intact! :)

[_hannelore]

*dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez* I still love that one so so so much!

[underlucius]

I HAVE to have an icon with

"I am Draco's undying sense of realism, but no one cares"

[catherinecookmn]

That one sounds as if someone whose native language is NOT English was playing with some refrigerator poetry magnets.

[pandarus]

Nah, it's riffing on Fight Club, isn't it? I mean, still ridiculous, but it doesn't ping me as non-native speaker of English - which is more than can be said for half of these summaries.

[yahtzee63]

Brindi Lin Holliday Kariell was born naturaly, like most children are, except for the part about being burried six feet underground three days before she was born.

Her poor mother. Though even that woman has nothing on 18-years-pregnant Snape.

"When you’re so lost you want to rip your organs out through your throat and smear them all over everyone around you, just so they know that you exist..."

You know, there's a reason nobody likes you.

How does Sir Elton John create a window into Draco's soul?

[mctabby]

Oh yes. Pregnancy - female or male - and reproduction in general: source of some classic summaries. *stares at list*

Elton John and Draco's soul? That one's here, if you're curious.

*wipes tears from eyes* oh thank you, darling, i REALLY needed this...

[underlucius]

Harry's perilous end!!! Lily with fleas!

A death eater meeting with No Slash? *resigns from the Death Eaters*

A new starts at Hogwarts? ARGH! *trembles*

"it is your last rear at hogwarts" Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!

The one and only Lucius Malfoy is on the prow. - Figurehead!!Lucius!

Re: *wipes tears from eyes* oh thank you, darling, i REALLY needed this...

[catherinecookmn]

Harry's perilous end!!!

"I don't care if it repels Demetors," Ron choked out after a particular pungent posterior breeze was emitted by his best male friend, "you've got to stop eating that chicken vindaloo, mate!"

Re: *wipes tears from eyes* oh thank you, darling, i REALLY needed this...

[catherinecookmn]

(Arrgh! I meant "Dementors", obviously. I suck at summeries!!!)

Re: *wipes tears from eyes* oh thank you, darling, i REALLY needed this...

[underlucius]

"Expecto Methaneum!"