frog prince (G)
title: frog prince
word count: 468 / rating: G
summary: Sheppard has been turned into a toad! Whatever shall the team do!
notes: written in about seven minutes,
so I apologize for, you know, writing it at all.
*hangs head in shame*
Then:
"No."
"What do you mean 'no'?" Ronon says, grabbing McKay by the collar of his shirt and shoving him forward towards - towards -
"As in the opposite of yes. As in no way am I putting my lips anywhere near that thing!"
"This thing," Teyla says, scooping up the tiny black toad, "is Colonel Sheppard. And he needs your help Rodney."
"Are you two even listening to yourselves? This is ridiculous. This is - this is!"
"Ronon and I have already kissed him, and it did not work. Now it's your turn," Teyla says, a not so subtle air of menace to her voice.
"That is not Sheppard. That is a frog. What is wrong with you people?"
The toad croaks, hops a little on Teyla's palm, and looks at Rodney like it kind of wants to shoot him. Maybe it is Sheppard.
"I'm going to get a disease," Rodney says lamely.
"Kiss the toad, McKay," Ronon says, poking Rodney in the back with his gun. "Or I'm going to shoot you."
"How would that help?" Rodney snaps, turning on Ronon.
"It wouldn't," he says. "But it would make me feel better."
"Fine! Fine," Rodney says, taking the toad from Teyla. "You both should know I hate you."
"Make sure to kiss his lips. Just to be safe," Teyla says with a sage-like nod.
"What lips? It doesn't have lips!"
"McKay."
Rodney looks down at the toad and grimaces - the toad croaks again, louder, jumps, and uses his gross little tongue to lick at one of his fingers. With a sigh, and a cough, Rodney brings it up to his mouth and says, "This is insane."
And when he kisses its cold little not-lips, Sheppard says, "What are you doing?"
Rodney yelps and drops the toad. He says, accusingly, "You were standing on the platform and then -"
Teyla cuts in, says, "A beam of light enveloped you -"
"And then you were a frog," Ronon says, scratching his head with his gun.
"No," Sheppard says slowly, "I was transported into that cave right behind me, and then I spoke to the priest, and then I walked back out here. You guys were - ?"
Teyla covers her face with her hands and sighs, and Rodney says, "I knew he couldn't have turned into a frog! And you made me kiss it!"
Now:
"Did you wash all the frog-slime off your face, Prince Charming?" Sheppard says, sitting at the edge of Rodney's bed.
"There wasn't any slime, thank you. But yes."
"Good," Sheppard says, grabbing Rodney's wrist and swinging him around to pull him down onto the bed. "I wouldn't want to get any diseases."
Rodney rolls his eyes, moves above Sheppard and settles between his legs, and kisses him.
word count: 468 / rating: G
summary: Sheppard has been turned into a toad! Whatever shall the team do!
notes: written in about seven minutes,
so I apologize for, you know, writing it at all.
*hangs head in shame*
Then:
"No."
"What do you mean 'no'?" Ronon says, grabbing McKay by the collar of his shirt and shoving him forward towards - towards -
"As in the opposite of yes. As in no way am I putting my lips anywhere near that thing!"
"This thing," Teyla says, scooping up the tiny black toad, "is Colonel Sheppard. And he needs your help Rodney."
"Are you two even listening to yourselves? This is ridiculous. This is - this is!"
"Ronon and I have already kissed him, and it did not work. Now it's your turn," Teyla says, a not so subtle air of menace to her voice.
"That is not Sheppard. That is a frog. What is wrong with you people?"
The toad croaks, hops a little on Teyla's palm, and looks at Rodney like it kind of wants to shoot him. Maybe it is Sheppard.
"I'm going to get a disease," Rodney says lamely.
"Kiss the toad, McKay," Ronon says, poking Rodney in the back with his gun. "Or I'm going to shoot you."
"How would that help?" Rodney snaps, turning on Ronon.
"It wouldn't," he says. "But it would make me feel better."
"Fine! Fine," Rodney says, taking the toad from Teyla. "You both should know I hate you."
"Make sure to kiss his lips. Just to be safe," Teyla says with a sage-like nod.
"What lips? It doesn't have lips!"
"McKay."
Rodney looks down at the toad and grimaces - the toad croaks again, louder, jumps, and uses his gross little tongue to lick at one of his fingers. With a sigh, and a cough, Rodney brings it up to his mouth and says, "This is insane."
And when he kisses its cold little not-lips, Sheppard says, "What are you doing?"
Rodney yelps and drops the toad. He says, accusingly, "You were standing on the platform and then -"
Teyla cuts in, says, "A beam of light enveloped you -"
"And then you were a frog," Ronon says, scratching his head with his gun.
"No," Sheppard says slowly, "I was transported into that cave right behind me, and then I spoke to the priest, and then I walked back out here. You guys were - ?"
Teyla covers her face with her hands and sighs, and Rodney says, "I knew he couldn't have turned into a frog! And you made me kiss it!"
Now:
"Did you wash all the frog-slime off your face, Prince Charming?" Sheppard says, sitting at the edge of Rodney's bed.
"There wasn't any slime, thank you. But yes."
"Good," Sheppard says, grabbing Rodney's wrist and swinging him around to pull him down onto the bed. "I wouldn't want to get any diseases."
Rodney rolls his eyes, moves above Sheppard and settles between his legs, and kisses him.