Challenge #102 fic: Heart over Head
Title: Heart over Head
Author: velocitygrass
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Content notes: ( skip) None of the standard warnings apply
Spoilers: through season 5
Word count: 1223
Summary: The only saving grace in the mess that relationships seem to be is that he's not the only one who has this problem.
Note: Also available at AO3.
Heart over Head
It's very frustrating to Rodney that not all problems in the world can be solved with rational thought.
Relationships are the prime example of this. Long after he should have proposed to Jennifer, he still couldn't bring himself to do it, and he couldn't come up with a rational reason for it. He'd decided to go with his gut and not make a promise for life when he was so uncertain. He supposes that could be considered rational, but in reality it's giving in to emotions that he can't explain or control.
Rodney can't stand this lack of control. Jennifer was pretty much perfect for him on paper. If he can't count on a relationship with someone like her to work out, what chance does he have?
It's unfathomable for him to just wait and see. His sister tells him he'll know. He's even willing to believe that it was like that for her. But it doesn't necessarily follow that it will be like that for him too.
The only saving grace in the mess that relationships seem to be is that he's not the only one who has this problem. John is a prime example of someone who shouldn't have to be single. For the longest time Rodney thought John didn't want a relationship. It was the only logical explanation.
But when they'd talked about it recently, John had said, "It's not that I categorically don't want it. But it has to be the right person."
So maybe John was too picky. But how could you even be too picky if love was so...random? Was the only way not to fail to go on date after date after date until someone happened to stick around and just click with you?
"I guess that's the way some people approach it," John said when Rodney vented to him about the topic. "Maybe even most."
"But that's so...inefficient," Rodney said.
John smiled. "If you could decide, how would relationships work?"
"Well, you'd have a list of requirements with varying priorities," Rodney said. "And the more a person matched them, the better the relationship would be. If everything fits, it would be perfect. And you'd know it because you picked the right person."
"Wouldn't that be...boring?" John asked.
"No," Rodney said. "My sister found the perfect-to her apparently-guy. She doesn't complain. She's happy. There's no reason we shouldn't be too."
"If we could get around the pesky dating the wrong person problem," John said, sounding slightly amused.
"You think you're joking, but why are you not dating anyone?" Rodney asked and immediately answered his own question. "You also don't want to waste time with the wrong people."
"Not quite," John said. "As long as Don't Ask, Don't Tell was in place I had a good excuse. I mean I couldn't openly."
"Ha! You said excuse, so you wouldn't have dated even if you could have," Rodney said. "Plus it's been a couple of years, and you didn't mention dating anyone in that time."
"Maybe I'm just not good at relationships," John said.
"But you said you could want it with the right person," Rodney said.
"The right person being someone who'd compensate for my shortcomings when it comes to relationships," John said.
Rodney gave him a skeptical look.
"And that's why I'm not dating," John said. "I don't have the energy to wait for someone who'll put with me."
"Oh please," Rodney said, "you mean a smart, attractive, rich guy who literally saved the world?"
"I couldn't tell them about it," John said. "And since when do you consider me attractive?"
"Since I first saw you?" Rodney said, frowning in light annoyance. "It's not like that is up for debate."
"Well, it's the first time you admitted it," John said. "At least to me."
"There's no reason to feed your ego," Rodney said. "But it's not like... Let's get real. You are very...if someone's into your type at all."
"You left out a word there," John pointed out.
"Well, fill in the blank. I thought of fuckable but felt that was a bit too crass," Rodney admitted.
John's eyes widened. "'Fuckable'?"
"I'm sorry," Rodney said. "I didn't mean it in a bad way!"
"I didn't think you did!" John said. "But you call me smart, attractive, and now fuckable. Is that still all under the caveat of being into that type?"
"Well, if they're not into that type, they probably won't be into you," Rodney said.
"And your type would be?" John asked.
"I'm not sure that I have one strict type," Rodney said. "Why do you ask?"
John gave him a look.
"What?" Rodney asked.
"I don't know," John said. "We're talking about relationships, about wanting to have them, but not willing to risk much. You're calling me things that you'd presumably want in a partner. What are you trying to say?"
"You think I'm...with you?" Rodney asked.
"Is that so absurd?" John asked. "We know each other well enough to know our faults, and we still get along fine. If you'd add attraction to the mix, we'd have a better than average shot at this."
"Would we?" Rodney asked. "I thought the whole point of this discussion was that relationships seem to work or not entirely at random."
"That's not true," John said. "And no, for me this discussion was about willing to try or not. For the most part I don't, but under the right circumstances with the right person I could see myself taking that risk."
Rodney looked at him. He might not have had the same discussion as John, but he understood what he was saying now. "You'd take that risk with me?"
John didn't answer for a long time. Eventually he said, "It takes two to make that decision."
Rodney considered it. A relationship with John. On paper it could be perfect. "You know, it's driving me crazy that I have no idea if this will work, even though all common sense based on our history says it should."
John made a face. "Our history of failing at relationships?"
"Our history as friends," Rodney corrected him.
"Maybe it'll give us the edge we need," John said.
Rodney still wasn't sure if it was a smart decision to try this. He wanted to think that the odds for them were good. But then he thought about Jennifer and Katie. "Oh, what the hell. It works for other people, maybe we'll be lucky."
John smiled. "That's the least enthusiastic anyone's ever been about dating me. Well, of those that actually were going ahead with it."
"I have no idea what'll happen. That's not my favorite kind of situation," Rodney said.
"I can understand that," John said, coming a bit closer. "But I'm good at improvising."
"You are?" Rodney said, letting John come even closer.
"Yep," John said. "Like right now. I think we should kiss."
Rodney snorted. As he leaned in, he thought that if he couldn't rely on his brain for this, maybe listening to his heart would be more fruitful. It was strange that he'd never considered that before.
Their lips met in a kiss, and Rodney felt something bloom in his chest.
Or maybe his heart never had more to say on the matter than his brain. Until now.
Author: velocitygrass
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Content notes: ( skip) None of the standard warnings apply
Spoilers: through season 5
Word count: 1223
Summary: The only saving grace in the mess that relationships seem to be is that he's not the only one who has this problem.
Note: Also available at AO3.
Heart over Head
It's very frustrating to Rodney that not all problems in the world can be solved with rational thought.
Relationships are the prime example of this. Long after he should have proposed to Jennifer, he still couldn't bring himself to do it, and he couldn't come up with a rational reason for it. He'd decided to go with his gut and not make a promise for life when he was so uncertain. He supposes that could be considered rational, but in reality it's giving in to emotions that he can't explain or control.
Rodney can't stand this lack of control. Jennifer was pretty much perfect for him on paper. If he can't count on a relationship with someone like her to work out, what chance does he have?
It's unfathomable for him to just wait and see. His sister tells him he'll know. He's even willing to believe that it was like that for her. But it doesn't necessarily follow that it will be like that for him too.
The only saving grace in the mess that relationships seem to be is that he's not the only one who has this problem. John is a prime example of someone who shouldn't have to be single. For the longest time Rodney thought John didn't want a relationship. It was the only logical explanation.
But when they'd talked about it recently, John had said, "It's not that I categorically don't want it. But it has to be the right person."
So maybe John was too picky. But how could you even be too picky if love was so...random? Was the only way not to fail to go on date after date after date until someone happened to stick around and just click with you?
"I guess that's the way some people approach it," John said when Rodney vented to him about the topic. "Maybe even most."
"But that's so...inefficient," Rodney said.
John smiled. "If you could decide, how would relationships work?"
"Well, you'd have a list of requirements with varying priorities," Rodney said. "And the more a person matched them, the better the relationship would be. If everything fits, it would be perfect. And you'd know it because you picked the right person."
"Wouldn't that be...boring?" John asked.
"No," Rodney said. "My sister found the perfect-to her apparently-guy. She doesn't complain. She's happy. There's no reason we shouldn't be too."
"If we could get around the pesky dating the wrong person problem," John said, sounding slightly amused.
"You think you're joking, but why are you not dating anyone?" Rodney asked and immediately answered his own question. "You also don't want to waste time with the wrong people."
"Not quite," John said. "As long as Don't Ask, Don't Tell was in place I had a good excuse. I mean I couldn't openly."
"Ha! You said excuse, so you wouldn't have dated even if you could have," Rodney said. "Plus it's been a couple of years, and you didn't mention dating anyone in that time."
"Maybe I'm just not good at relationships," John said.
"But you said you could want it with the right person," Rodney said.
"The right person being someone who'd compensate for my shortcomings when it comes to relationships," John said.
Rodney gave him a skeptical look.
"And that's why I'm not dating," John said. "I don't have the energy to wait for someone who'll put with me."
"Oh please," Rodney said, "you mean a smart, attractive, rich guy who literally saved the world?"
"I couldn't tell them about it," John said. "And since when do you consider me attractive?"
"Since I first saw you?" Rodney said, frowning in light annoyance. "It's not like that is up for debate."
"Well, it's the first time you admitted it," John said. "At least to me."
"There's no reason to feed your ego," Rodney said. "But it's not like... Let's get real. You are very...if someone's into your type at all."
"You left out a word there," John pointed out.
"Well, fill in the blank. I thought of fuckable but felt that was a bit too crass," Rodney admitted.
John's eyes widened. "'Fuckable'?"
"I'm sorry," Rodney said. "I didn't mean it in a bad way!"
"I didn't think you did!" John said. "But you call me smart, attractive, and now fuckable. Is that still all under the caveat of being into that type?"
"Well, if they're not into that type, they probably won't be into you," Rodney said.
"And your type would be?" John asked.
"I'm not sure that I have one strict type," Rodney said. "Why do you ask?"
John gave him a look.
"What?" Rodney asked.
"I don't know," John said. "We're talking about relationships, about wanting to have them, but not willing to risk much. You're calling me things that you'd presumably want in a partner. What are you trying to say?"
"You think I'm...with you?" Rodney asked.
"Is that so absurd?" John asked. "We know each other well enough to know our faults, and we still get along fine. If you'd add attraction to the mix, we'd have a better than average shot at this."
"Would we?" Rodney asked. "I thought the whole point of this discussion was that relationships seem to work or not entirely at random."
"That's not true," John said. "And no, for me this discussion was about willing to try or not. For the most part I don't, but under the right circumstances with the right person I could see myself taking that risk."
Rodney looked at him. He might not have had the same discussion as John, but he understood what he was saying now. "You'd take that risk with me?"
John didn't answer for a long time. Eventually he said, "It takes two to make that decision."
Rodney considered it. A relationship with John. On paper it could be perfect. "You know, it's driving me crazy that I have no idea if this will work, even though all common sense based on our history says it should."
John made a face. "Our history of failing at relationships?"
"Our history as friends," Rodney corrected him.
"Maybe it'll give us the edge we need," John said.
Rodney still wasn't sure if it was a smart decision to try this. He wanted to think that the odds for them were good. But then he thought about Jennifer and Katie. "Oh, what the hell. It works for other people, maybe we'll be lucky."
John smiled. "That's the least enthusiastic anyone's ever been about dating me. Well, of those that actually were going ahead with it."
"I have no idea what'll happen. That's not my favorite kind of situation," Rodney said.
"I can understand that," John said, coming a bit closer. "But I'm good at improvising."
"You are?" Rodney said, letting John come even closer.
"Yep," John said. "Like right now. I think we should kiss."
Rodney snorted. As he leaned in, he thought that if he couldn't rely on his brain for this, maybe listening to his heart would be more fruitful. It was strange that he'd never considered that before.
Their lips met in a kiss, and Rodney felt something bloom in his chest.
Or maybe his heart never had more to say on the matter than his brain. Until now.