Challenge #103 fic: Incredibly bad at this (but still making it work in just over six years)
Title: Incredibly bad at this (but still making it work in just over six years)
Author: velocitygrass
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: Light R
Warnings/Content notes: ( skip) None that I'm aware of
Spoilers: Through the whole series.
Word count: 1396
Summary: There has got to be a way to ask Rodney out on a date-without actually using that word.
Note: Also available at AO3
Incredibly bad at this (but still making it work in just over six years)
John's incredibly bad at this.
He knows that Rodney thinks that he's some kind of master seducer, but the truth is he's never had to work to get a date or sex (and the few times he did, didn't go so well). Women or men usually approach him, sometimes even before he signals that he's interested.
But this time it's different. This time it's Rodney.
When Rodney first wondered aloud if there might be guys coming out now that Don't Ask, Don't Tell was repealed, widening the dating pool, John had hoped it was some kind of signal.
After the break-up with Jennifer, Rodney had dated casually on Earth and lamented the lack of suitable candidates back on Atlantis. When he admitted that pool didn't necessarily have to be women only, John had told Rodney that it would be everyone's personal decision when to come out and to whom.
"I think for me personally, I'll not make it public, but I won't hide it any longer if, say, a guy asks me out."
His heart had been beating wildly in his chest and he'd hoped he'd hit the right note between casual and "Please ask me, Rodney! I've been waiting for years and just never thought there was a chance."
But Rodney had only nodded thoughtfully.
Since then part of John has tried to convince himself that Rodney's lack of reaction means he just isn't interested in John that way. But another part refuses to back down and reminds him how he's previously convinced himself that Rodney is straight, which turned out to be wrong.
They've knew each other for so long that John is certain that even if it might be awkward between them for a while, Rodney's rejection wouldn't destroy their friendship. Which means a simple risk analysis shows him that he has little to lose but a lot to gain, so there is no reason not to at least try.
He will ask Rodney out on a date. As soon as he figures out how.
He's already had two lunches and three dinners with Rodney, never finding a good way to point out that he'd kind of meant "as a date".
Drinking beer or watching Dr. Who isn't anything out of the ordinary either, and when John asks him if he wants to go check out the so-called "Starburst" that Teyla told them about, Rodney doesn't even look up when he says, "Take Zelenka. Tell him to record data."
He's getting desperate. There has got to be a way to ask Rodney out on a date-without actually using that word.
John is afraid he's running out of time. Every time he thought Rodney was single so far, it felt like he just had to turn around and there was Katie or still Katie or Jennifer. He doesn't want to go run into Rodney one day while he's on a date with some guy who wasn't too chicken to actually say the word.
Today, he's going to do it. He's not sure how, but he'll just play it by ear.
"Hey, Rodney," he says when he enters the lab. Rodney acknowledges him with a quick glance away from the screen. So far, so good. "What are you doing?" John asks.
"I'm debugging the code for the energy distribution to optimize performance," Rodney says, turning to him.
"Ah," John says. "I guess that means you're busy."
"It's important in the long run, but not urgent. What did you want?" Rodney asks.
Here is his perfect opening. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to do something."
Rodney watches him for a moment, then says, "Could you specify that a bit more precisely? I'm assuming you mean doing something other than debugging."
"Right, yes," John says. "I thought something fun."
Rodney gives him a look, then makes a "go on" gesture with his hand.
"With me," John continues.
"Well, that narrows it down," Rodney says. 'Doing something fun with you' could mean anything from questionably entertaining things like watching Back to the Future to unquestionably worthwhile but probably not intended things like fucking our brains out until we can't sit anymore." John's jaw drops. But Rodney goes on, "You probably were going for something in the middle so if you could name an actual activity, I'd have an easier time saying yes or no."
"Uh," John says. He hasn't really thought about sex with Rodney. Okay, so that's a filthy lie. He's thought about sex with Rodney every day for the last six years, but that was fantasy not planing. "We could...do that," he says.
"What?" Rodney asks. "That's what I'm asking. Do what?"
"What you said just now," John says.
Rodney rolls his eyes. "No," he says flatly. John tries not to be crushed, when Rodney continues, "I'm not watching that movie with you ever again."
"I," John says. "I meant the other thing."
Rodney looks at him and blinks. Then he blinks again. "You come in here suggesting we do 'something fun', and you mean sex?"
"Well, I hadn't meant that exactly," John admits.
"So you just figured sex would be more fun that whatever you had originally thought of?" Rodney asks.
John thinks that over. "Kind of," he says.
"Look, I don't pretend to know what's going on under that mop of hair of yours, but we're about six years late to start a casual buddy fuck thing. I thought you were worried about getting caught. It's not as if fraternization rules no longer apply even if Don't Ask, Don't Tell is finally dead and gone as it should be."
It's John turn to blink. "Did we...ever talk about this and it got somehow erased from my brain?"
"Not in so many words," Rodney says. "But you can't have forgotten about Chaya. You told me not to go there, so we never went there."
"Oh god. You thought I- How did you even know I'm not straight?" John asks.
"I thought we were this close to fucking at the time. I don't think such things about straight people," Rodney says.
"I do. I mean I thought about fucking you, but I still thought you were straight. And when I told you not to go there I meant telling me whom I should or shouldn't get involved with. I didn't think that you were..."
"Interested?" Rodney asks. "Forgive me while I force myself not to start laughing hysterically."
John doesn't know what to say. Apparently he turned Rodney down six years ago without knowing it. Laughing hysterically doesn't sound like such a bad idea actually.
Neither of them does though.
They just stare at each other. Then it's as if a switch has been turned and Rodney is out of his chair and John is grabbing him and they're kissing and roughly tearing at each other's clothes.
Before Rodney slides his hand into John's pants, John has just enough presence of mind to say, "Just so we're clear. This is not a fuck buddy thing."
Rodney actually stops. He frowns. "What were you going to ask me?"
"Uhm," John says, hesitating. Which is slightly ridiculous, considering that Rodney has one hand under his shirt and the other poised at his open fly. "I just wanted to know if you'd...go out with me," he finally forces the word out.
Rodney looks at him for a long moment. "I'd fucking marry you if I could. I guess I'll just have to wait for you to ask. That way we'll be retired before it happens and fraternization rules won't matter."
John knows he should feel insulted but he can only snort.
Rodney goes back to the task at hand, sliding his hand into John's boxers.
"I didn't think you'd put out on the first date," John mutters, smiling.
"I didn't think you'd wait six years to ask," Rodney counters, gripping John's dick.
"I'm not very good at it," John admits. "I meant the asking. I'm good at, you know, it."
Rodney snorts. He takes John's hand and moves it to the bulge in his pants. "Show me what your mouth is capable of," Rodney challenges him.
John grins wickedly and drops down on his knees.
He might be bad at saying certain things. But he's incredibly good at this.
Author: velocitygrass
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: Light R
Warnings/Content notes: ( skip) None that I'm aware of
Spoilers: Through the whole series.
Word count: 1396
Summary: There has got to be a way to ask Rodney out on a date-without actually using that word.
Note: Also available at AO3
Incredibly bad at this (but still making it work in just over six years)
John's incredibly bad at this.
He knows that Rodney thinks that he's some kind of master seducer, but the truth is he's never had to work to get a date or sex (and the few times he did, didn't go so well). Women or men usually approach him, sometimes even before he signals that he's interested.
But this time it's different. This time it's Rodney.
When Rodney first wondered aloud if there might be guys coming out now that Don't Ask, Don't Tell was repealed, widening the dating pool, John had hoped it was some kind of signal.
After the break-up with Jennifer, Rodney had dated casually on Earth and lamented the lack of suitable candidates back on Atlantis. When he admitted that pool didn't necessarily have to be women only, John had told Rodney that it would be everyone's personal decision when to come out and to whom.
"I think for me personally, I'll not make it public, but I won't hide it any longer if, say, a guy asks me out."
His heart had been beating wildly in his chest and he'd hoped he'd hit the right note between casual and "Please ask me, Rodney! I've been waiting for years and just never thought there was a chance."
But Rodney had only nodded thoughtfully.
Since then part of John has tried to convince himself that Rodney's lack of reaction means he just isn't interested in John that way. But another part refuses to back down and reminds him how he's previously convinced himself that Rodney is straight, which turned out to be wrong.
They've knew each other for so long that John is certain that even if it might be awkward between them for a while, Rodney's rejection wouldn't destroy their friendship. Which means a simple risk analysis shows him that he has little to lose but a lot to gain, so there is no reason not to at least try.
He will ask Rodney out on a date. As soon as he figures out how.
He's already had two lunches and three dinners with Rodney, never finding a good way to point out that he'd kind of meant "as a date".
Drinking beer or watching Dr. Who isn't anything out of the ordinary either, and when John asks him if he wants to go check out the so-called "Starburst" that Teyla told them about, Rodney doesn't even look up when he says, "Take Zelenka. Tell him to record data."
He's getting desperate. There has got to be a way to ask Rodney out on a date-without actually using that word.
John is afraid he's running out of time. Every time he thought Rodney was single so far, it felt like he just had to turn around and there was Katie or still Katie or Jennifer. He doesn't want to go run into Rodney one day while he's on a date with some guy who wasn't too chicken to actually say the word.
Today, he's going to do it. He's not sure how, but he'll just play it by ear.
"Hey, Rodney," he says when he enters the lab. Rodney acknowledges him with a quick glance away from the screen. So far, so good. "What are you doing?" John asks.
"I'm debugging the code for the energy distribution to optimize performance," Rodney says, turning to him.
"Ah," John says. "I guess that means you're busy."
"It's important in the long run, but not urgent. What did you want?" Rodney asks.
Here is his perfect opening. "I wanted to ask if you wanted to do something."
Rodney watches him for a moment, then says, "Could you specify that a bit more precisely? I'm assuming you mean doing something other than debugging."
"Right, yes," John says. "I thought something fun."
Rodney gives him a look, then makes a "go on" gesture with his hand.
"With me," John continues.
"Well, that narrows it down," Rodney says. 'Doing something fun with you' could mean anything from questionably entertaining things like watching Back to the Future to unquestionably worthwhile but probably not intended things like fucking our brains out until we can't sit anymore." John's jaw drops. But Rodney goes on, "You probably were going for something in the middle so if you could name an actual activity, I'd have an easier time saying yes or no."
"Uh," John says. He hasn't really thought about sex with Rodney. Okay, so that's a filthy lie. He's thought about sex with Rodney every day for the last six years, but that was fantasy not planing. "We could...do that," he says.
"What?" Rodney asks. "That's what I'm asking. Do what?"
"What you said just now," John says.
Rodney rolls his eyes. "No," he says flatly. John tries not to be crushed, when Rodney continues, "I'm not watching that movie with you ever again."
"I," John says. "I meant the other thing."
Rodney looks at him and blinks. Then he blinks again. "You come in here suggesting we do 'something fun', and you mean sex?"
"Well, I hadn't meant that exactly," John admits.
"So you just figured sex would be more fun that whatever you had originally thought of?" Rodney asks.
John thinks that over. "Kind of," he says.
"Look, I don't pretend to know what's going on under that mop of hair of yours, but we're about six years late to start a casual buddy fuck thing. I thought you were worried about getting caught. It's not as if fraternization rules no longer apply even if Don't Ask, Don't Tell is finally dead and gone as it should be."
It's John turn to blink. "Did we...ever talk about this and it got somehow erased from my brain?"
"Not in so many words," Rodney says. "But you can't have forgotten about Chaya. You told me not to go there, so we never went there."
"Oh god. You thought I- How did you even know I'm not straight?" John asks.
"I thought we were this close to fucking at the time. I don't think such things about straight people," Rodney says.
"I do. I mean I thought about fucking you, but I still thought you were straight. And when I told you not to go there I meant telling me whom I should or shouldn't get involved with. I didn't think that you were..."
"Interested?" Rodney asks. "Forgive me while I force myself not to start laughing hysterically."
John doesn't know what to say. Apparently he turned Rodney down six years ago without knowing it. Laughing hysterically doesn't sound like such a bad idea actually.
Neither of them does though.
They just stare at each other. Then it's as if a switch has been turned and Rodney is out of his chair and John is grabbing him and they're kissing and roughly tearing at each other's clothes.
Before Rodney slides his hand into John's pants, John has just enough presence of mind to say, "Just so we're clear. This is not a fuck buddy thing."
Rodney actually stops. He frowns. "What were you going to ask me?"
"Uhm," John says, hesitating. Which is slightly ridiculous, considering that Rodney has one hand under his shirt and the other poised at his open fly. "I just wanted to know if you'd...go out with me," he finally forces the word out.
Rodney looks at him for a long moment. "I'd fucking marry you if I could. I guess I'll just have to wait for you to ask. That way we'll be retired before it happens and fraternization rules won't matter."
John knows he should feel insulted but he can only snort.
Rodney goes back to the task at hand, sliding his hand into John's boxers.
"I didn't think you'd put out on the first date," John mutters, smiling.
"I didn't think you'd wait six years to ask," Rodney counters, gripping John's dick.
"I'm not very good at it," John admits. "I meant the asking. I'm good at, you know, it."
Rodney snorts. He takes John's hand and moves it to the bulge in his pants. "Show me what your mouth is capable of," Rodney challenges him.
John grins wickedly and drops down on his knees.
He might be bad at saying certain things. But he's incredibly good at this.