Challenge #83 fic: The Right Thing. PG. John/Rodney.
Title: The Right Thing
Author: velocitygrass
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: PG
Warnings/Content notes: ( skip) None that I'm aware of. Implication of past John/OC sex, which probably doesn't require a warning unless you're like me and like to pretend that John has kept himself pure for Rodney since he met him. Oh, and Rodney and Jennifer are divorced in this one.
Spoilers: through season 5
Word count: 1574
Summary: He was cranky from being restrained to bed rest, and a cranky Rodney-even more so than the regular one-was bound to say things that pissed people off.
The Right Thing
John couldn't help himself. Rodney was adorable when he was sick. Only his head was sticking out of the blanket, and his face was squinched up in a constant state of dissatisfaction.
"Should I get you something to eat?" John asked. Rodney wasn't all that hungry and had only eaten little for lunch.
"No," Rodney said annoyed. "Jus' leav' me alone. Wanna sleep." Then he mumbled quietly, hardly audible in fact, "Jennifer never put up such a fuss. If you don't stop, I'll go back to her," before closing his eyes.
~~
John had no clear direction in mind as he walked along the halls of Atlantis.
He knew that Rodney wasn't serious. He was cranky from being restrained to bed rest, and a cranky Rodney-even more so than the regular one-was bound to say things that pissed people off. And John didn't mind. Usually. Not even when one of Rodney's little insults were directed at him. He liked to believe that it was one of the reasons why their relationship worked.
But he couldn't deny that what Rodney had just mumbled had made a sharp pain flare up in his chest.
Belittling John's intelligence was one thing, because at the end of the day John knew that while he wasn't as smart as Rodney, he was still pretty damn smart and that Rodney knew that. But comparing him to Jennifer was a sore spot the size of a spaceship. And not a little puddlejumper either.
John would have loved to think that it was just Rodney's sickness speaking, that he wasn't thinking clearly about what he said, but the truth was John knew Rodney could have just as easily dropped this in any little bit of bickering that was going on between them on a daily basis.
It wasn't that Rodney didn't care. Well, John hoped it wasn't. Because Rodney did care a lot about him. Rodney loved him. John was reasonably certain of that. It was probably more that Rodney didn't think about how saying something like that would make John feel. Or maybe he just didn't know.
John hadn't exactly volunteered to talk about his own feelings. He hadn't thought there was a point in letting Rodney know that he'd loved him for years. What was done was done, and John didn't want to dwell on the past. Except that, of course, he couldn't completely shut it out.
In his defense, this wasn't just because of John though. And maybe that was the real problem here.
For everyone around them Rodney was Jennifer's ex-husband. John vividly remembered the day when one of the devices they'd brought back home from a mission had self-destructed while Rodney had been working on it, and John had only found out about it when Marie had finally called him, because the nurse on duty had thought that Jennifer was the closest family Rodney had on Atlantis.
Thankfully things like that didn't happen very often, but it was sometimes those little infrequent moments that hurt the most. Like a new geologist coming up to Rodney and practically asking him out while John was standing right there. He'd only just managed to look away instead of glaring at her. It didn't exactly help that Rodney became all flustered and flushing with pride. And then he'd said he'd think about it.
That was another thing. Rodney was paranoid about anyone finding out about them. He'd actually encouraged John to go out on a date or two. But John had told him in no uncertain terms that he was going to handle people asking him out exactly as he had for the last six years. He didn't date anyone on Atlantis. And nobody would know that he no longer went out on what-happens-off-world-stays-off-world exploratory missions. He'd never done that with the same person twice anyway.
John had never cared what other people thought about his love life. But now that he actually had one that deserved the word love in it, it grated on him that he couldn't tell. Or not so much that he couldn't tell-it wasn't as if he wanted to talk about it-but rather that nobody was allowed to know.
They'd told Teyla and Ronon of course. Teyla had probably told Kanaan, and John had the feeling that Jennifer suspected. She and Rodney were still close friends, though Rodney had said he wouldn't outright tell her. But for everyone else Rodney was single and in a way he was still Jennifer's by virtue of their continued friendship and the fact that he hadn't found anyone new, as far as they could see.
Because Rodney's relationship with John wasn't allowed to be seen.
And this meant that John was never allowed to make his own visible mark as they lived their lives on Atlantis. He couldn't reach out and brush a crumb from Rodney's face during breakfast as he-and anyone else on Atlantis-had seen Jennifer do. He couldn't take Rodney's hand when either of them came back hurt from a mission or in the infirmary. He couldn't casually kiss Rodney when they parted ways for the day or kiss him not as causally when they did so for a few days.
It wasn't even that Rodney and Jennifer had been very public with their displays of affection, but the fact of the matter was that the moments where they had been were burnt into John's mind. Worst of all was the gateroom. John couldn't go through the gate without being reminded of Rodney and Jennifer's wedding ceremony. The first-and so far only-Atlantis wedding, where he'd stood stone-faced as Rodney's best man, wishing he'd had the courage to tell Rodney that he couldn't do this.
Six months later the marriage had been over, but John still felt the remnants of it anywhere he went. All over Atlantis there were memories which he wasn't allowed to replace, neither for himself nor in the eyes of other people. John was certain that he'd seen a certain amount of pity from some people when Jennifer had become involved with a marine. As if they thought Rodney had to feel bad, now that the chances of him getting back together with her had become worse.
John wished they knew that they didn't have to worry about Rodney, that Rodney was in a new relationship for a lot longer, that he was happy. That he was taken.
That he was John's.
Really, that was what he wished. He didn't want to talk about his relationship with Rodney to anyone, or god forbid his feelings. He just wanted people to know what they were. He didn't need anyone's approval. He knew that some people would hate them out of jealousy or bigotry. But when they walked down the hall together he didn't want people to think they were just friends, a guy who was completely relationship resistant and another guy who couldn't make his relationships work.
Because they did make it work. Despite their disagreements on how far they needed to go to keep their relationship secret-Rodney insisted on going on a date every now and then, to John's dismay-and the strain of having to hide, despite the little annoyances of their characters, the minor misunderstandings, and the dangers that they faced every day, their life-and their relationship as one of the major components of it-was as good as it had ever been for either of them.
John found himself in the mess hall, where the rest of lunch was stored for those coming in late. The little blueberry muffins caught his eye. Rodney loved them. John considered bringing them back to Rodney. In the end he decided to just go ahead and do it. The worst that could happen was another idle threat or that Rodney was fast asleep. John liked the muffins too.
Rodney's eyes were closed when John came back. He was still contemplating the risks of saying something to see if he was awake, when Rodney opened his eyes.
"What?" he asked, still a bit annoyed.
"I brought you this, just in case. I can eat it myself if you don't want it," John said, holding out the muffin for Rodney to see and take, if he wished so.
"Blueberry?" Rodney asked, perking up.
"Yes," John said with a small smile. He'd been bracing himself for another comment about fussing and leaving John, but apparently the muffin had been a good idea.
"I'm still not very hungry, but I think I can take a bite or two," Rodney said, breaking off about a quarter of the muffin. John took back the rest, eating a bit himself and watching Rodney push little pieces into his mouth.
Rodney sighed happily-and tiredly. Being sick had really sucked out most of his energy. Once done, he lay back down and closed his eyes. "Thank you," he said. "I think I'll keep you around after all." John had to smile at that. He thought Rodney had fallen asleep and was ready to let him rest when Rodney mumbled very quietly, "You might be the best thing that's ever happened to me." Then he started snoring.
Rodney could be thoughtless at times. He could be needlessly insulting and say the wrong things, hurting people, even people he cared about. But he wasn't always like that.
Sometimes he said exactly the right thing.
Author: velocitygrass
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: PG
Warnings/Content notes: ( skip) None that I'm aware of. Implication of past John/OC sex, which probably doesn't require a warning unless you're like me and like to pretend that John has kept himself pure for Rodney since he met him. Oh, and Rodney and Jennifer are divorced in this one.
Spoilers: through season 5
Word count: 1574
Summary: He was cranky from being restrained to bed rest, and a cranky Rodney-even more so than the regular one-was bound to say things that pissed people off.
The Right Thing
John couldn't help himself. Rodney was adorable when he was sick. Only his head was sticking out of the blanket, and his face was squinched up in a constant state of dissatisfaction.
"Should I get you something to eat?" John asked. Rodney wasn't all that hungry and had only eaten little for lunch.
"No," Rodney said annoyed. "Jus' leav' me alone. Wanna sleep." Then he mumbled quietly, hardly audible in fact, "Jennifer never put up such a fuss. If you don't stop, I'll go back to her," before closing his eyes.
~~
John had no clear direction in mind as he walked along the halls of Atlantis.
He knew that Rodney wasn't serious. He was cranky from being restrained to bed rest, and a cranky Rodney-even more so than the regular one-was bound to say things that pissed people off. And John didn't mind. Usually. Not even when one of Rodney's little insults were directed at him. He liked to believe that it was one of the reasons why their relationship worked.
But he couldn't deny that what Rodney had just mumbled had made a sharp pain flare up in his chest.
Belittling John's intelligence was one thing, because at the end of the day John knew that while he wasn't as smart as Rodney, he was still pretty damn smart and that Rodney knew that. But comparing him to Jennifer was a sore spot the size of a spaceship. And not a little puddlejumper either.
John would have loved to think that it was just Rodney's sickness speaking, that he wasn't thinking clearly about what he said, but the truth was John knew Rodney could have just as easily dropped this in any little bit of bickering that was going on between them on a daily basis.
It wasn't that Rodney didn't care. Well, John hoped it wasn't. Because Rodney did care a lot about him. Rodney loved him. John was reasonably certain of that. It was probably more that Rodney didn't think about how saying something like that would make John feel. Or maybe he just didn't know.
John hadn't exactly volunteered to talk about his own feelings. He hadn't thought there was a point in letting Rodney know that he'd loved him for years. What was done was done, and John didn't want to dwell on the past. Except that, of course, he couldn't completely shut it out.
In his defense, this wasn't just because of John though. And maybe that was the real problem here.
For everyone around them Rodney was Jennifer's ex-husband. John vividly remembered the day when one of the devices they'd brought back home from a mission had self-destructed while Rodney had been working on it, and John had only found out about it when Marie had finally called him, because the nurse on duty had thought that Jennifer was the closest family Rodney had on Atlantis.
Thankfully things like that didn't happen very often, but it was sometimes those little infrequent moments that hurt the most. Like a new geologist coming up to Rodney and practically asking him out while John was standing right there. He'd only just managed to look away instead of glaring at her. It didn't exactly help that Rodney became all flustered and flushing with pride. And then he'd said he'd think about it.
That was another thing. Rodney was paranoid about anyone finding out about them. He'd actually encouraged John to go out on a date or two. But John had told him in no uncertain terms that he was going to handle people asking him out exactly as he had for the last six years. He didn't date anyone on Atlantis. And nobody would know that he no longer went out on what-happens-off-world-stays-off-world exploratory missions. He'd never done that with the same person twice anyway.
John had never cared what other people thought about his love life. But now that he actually had one that deserved the word love in it, it grated on him that he couldn't tell. Or not so much that he couldn't tell-it wasn't as if he wanted to talk about it-but rather that nobody was allowed to know.
They'd told Teyla and Ronon of course. Teyla had probably told Kanaan, and John had the feeling that Jennifer suspected. She and Rodney were still close friends, though Rodney had said he wouldn't outright tell her. But for everyone else Rodney was single and in a way he was still Jennifer's by virtue of their continued friendship and the fact that he hadn't found anyone new, as far as they could see.
Because Rodney's relationship with John wasn't allowed to be seen.
And this meant that John was never allowed to make his own visible mark as they lived their lives on Atlantis. He couldn't reach out and brush a crumb from Rodney's face during breakfast as he-and anyone else on Atlantis-had seen Jennifer do. He couldn't take Rodney's hand when either of them came back hurt from a mission or in the infirmary. He couldn't casually kiss Rodney when they parted ways for the day or kiss him not as causally when they did so for a few days.
It wasn't even that Rodney and Jennifer had been very public with their displays of affection, but the fact of the matter was that the moments where they had been were burnt into John's mind. Worst of all was the gateroom. John couldn't go through the gate without being reminded of Rodney and Jennifer's wedding ceremony. The first-and so far only-Atlantis wedding, where he'd stood stone-faced as Rodney's best man, wishing he'd had the courage to tell Rodney that he couldn't do this.
Six months later the marriage had been over, but John still felt the remnants of it anywhere he went. All over Atlantis there were memories which he wasn't allowed to replace, neither for himself nor in the eyes of other people. John was certain that he'd seen a certain amount of pity from some people when Jennifer had become involved with a marine. As if they thought Rodney had to feel bad, now that the chances of him getting back together with her had become worse.
John wished they knew that they didn't have to worry about Rodney, that Rodney was in a new relationship for a lot longer, that he was happy. That he was taken.
That he was John's.
Really, that was what he wished. He didn't want to talk about his relationship with Rodney to anyone, or god forbid his feelings. He just wanted people to know what they were. He didn't need anyone's approval. He knew that some people would hate them out of jealousy or bigotry. But when they walked down the hall together he didn't want people to think they were just friends, a guy who was completely relationship resistant and another guy who couldn't make his relationships work.
Because they did make it work. Despite their disagreements on how far they needed to go to keep their relationship secret-Rodney insisted on going on a date every now and then, to John's dismay-and the strain of having to hide, despite the little annoyances of their characters, the minor misunderstandings, and the dangers that they faced every day, their life-and their relationship as one of the major components of it-was as good as it had ever been for either of them.
John found himself in the mess hall, where the rest of lunch was stored for those coming in late. The little blueberry muffins caught his eye. Rodney loved them. John considered bringing them back to Rodney. In the end he decided to just go ahead and do it. The worst that could happen was another idle threat or that Rodney was fast asleep. John liked the muffins too.
Rodney's eyes were closed when John came back. He was still contemplating the risks of saying something to see if he was awake, when Rodney opened his eyes.
"What?" he asked, still a bit annoyed.
"I brought you this, just in case. I can eat it myself if you don't want it," John said, holding out the muffin for Rodney to see and take, if he wished so.
"Blueberry?" Rodney asked, perking up.
"Yes," John said with a small smile. He'd been bracing himself for another comment about fussing and leaving John, but apparently the muffin had been a good idea.
"I'm still not very hungry, but I think I can take a bite or two," Rodney said, breaking off about a quarter of the muffin. John took back the rest, eating a bit himself and watching Rodney push little pieces into his mouth.
Rodney sighed happily-and tiredly. Being sick had really sucked out most of his energy. Once done, he lay back down and closed his eyes. "Thank you," he said. "I think I'll keep you around after all." John had to smile at that. He thought Rodney had fallen asleep and was ready to let him rest when Rodney mumbled very quietly, "You might be the best thing that's ever happened to me." Then he started snoring.
Rodney could be thoughtless at times. He could be needlessly insulting and say the wrong things, hurting people, even people he cared about. But he wasn't always like that.
Sometimes he said exactly the right thing.