Challenge #54 fic: Making sense of it. John/Rodney. G.
Title: Making sense of it
Author: velocitygrass
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, Rodney McKay/Jennifer Keller
Rating: G
Warnings/Content notes: ( skip) None that I'm aware of
Spoilers: up to Brain Storm
Word count: 1845
Summary: Three women (or maybe I should say two women and a girl, though I think Susan Sheppard would be very pleased to be considered a woman) try to make sense of John and Rodney's relationship with varying success.
Note: Many thanks to neevebrody for the beta!
Making sense of it
Teyla Emmagan
When Teyla first met John, saw him deliberately smiling at her, she wasn't sure if his charm was a part of being diplomatic where his superior wasn't or if it was his nature. All through that first meeting, she wasn't sure if he was just polite or if there was more to it.
When he picked up her old necklace and placed it around her neck as if he had every right in the world to do so, she stopped seeing it as diplomacy but still wasn't sure if it was their culture or if John had an interest in her that went beyond trading.
Her confusion didn't lessen those first days when the Athosians were invited to stay on Atlantis. John dropped by to chat with her, showing an obvious interest but never following up on it. Again, she didn't know the new inhabitants of Atlantis well enough, nor did she know John well enough, to be sure about his intentions and motivation.
John would give her a bright, charming smile, talk about trust and about how impressed he was with what the Athosians had done in the face of threat. The smile was inviting and full of promise but when he actually invited her, she found herself not alone with him but with her new team and instead of showing her football as he had offered, John spent most of the time teasing Dr. McKay.
It took the dark energy being and Rodney's heroic act to make sense of it. When she saw John's face as he rushed down the stairs and later, the wide smile that was so completely unlike the ones he'd given her that first time and a few times after, she knew what his intentions to her were-or more precisely what they weren't.
~~
Jennifer Keller
Jennifer was disappointed when Ronon never followed up on the moment they'd had during the quarantine. She invited Rodney-or told him to invite her-on a whim after getting the full dose of his mixture of brilliance and arrogance, his whining and his incredible bravery and strength.
She enjoyed the drink they shared but unfortunately, like Ronon, Rodney didn't follow up on it. When she casually dropped by one day before dinner to ask if he wanted to join her, he brushed her off and Jennifer thought that was that.
She was okay with it. She wasn't in love with Rodney. She liked him, considered him a friend and saw the potential for more, but it didn't break her heart when she concluded that he wasn't interested. She wasn't even too disturbed when half an hour later, Rodney entered the mess hall with Sheppard who told him, "You can continue to work later. Food now."
When Rodney began being nice to her, to flirt with her, she remembered the potential she'd first seen. Finding out his behavior was the result of a parasite was disappointing, but then he confessed his love for her, that he had in fact loved her for a while and suddenly it became so much more than potential. It became a viable option.
When Rodney starting asking for Sheppard she didn't mind too much, telling herself that the smile that lit up Rodney's face when Sheppard entered wasn't actually brighter than when he smiled at her. But when he started calling for him one day, desperately shouting for John and nobody else, completely ignoring her presence, she didn't know what to tell herself.
She re-watched the tape of Rodney's declaration of love, assuring herself of his feelings, but whenever she saw him look at Sheppard with such unguarded adoration, something in her told her that what she heard him say again and again on tape and what she saw with her own eyes in his interaction with Sheppard couldn't both be equally true.
She waited for Rodney to make a move after his confession, feeling herself fall in love with first his words-still watched and listened to every now and then-and then all of him.
When he rescued her and finally no longer hid his feelings, she was overjoyed. Their relationship was a good one. It wasn't perfect, but Jennifer wasn't naive enough to believe that such a thing existed. There were things about Rodney that annoyed her, just as she was sure there were things about her that annoyed him, but they got along fine and had a great time together.
Sheppard wasn't gone from his life, of course, and Jennifer would have liked to pretend that it didn't matter to her now that she was with Rodney. But she couldn't stop her feelings of doubt, of not understanding how Rodney could tell her how wonderful she was one moment and then look at Sheppard in a way that she didn't dare try to explain even to herself.
When Rodney asked her to marry him, a part of her, deeply hidden, felt that this had to be the proof, that he chose her over Sheppard, but half an hour later, he mentioned Sheppard's previous marriage and started talking about how he couldn't understand that Sheppard was still single and why he would make a great husband. "But don't tell him I told you," he said at the beginning of it and Jennifer wasn't sure why he thought she would or why he wouldn't want Sheppard to know. Maybe for the same reason she didn't want to hear it.
One year after their engagement, they still hadn't set a date-by mutual agreement. Jennifer's father had a heart attack and she went to visit him, realizing that he'd need help and that she wanted to be there for him. When she returned and told Rodney about her decision, she didn't ask him to join her and he didn't offer.
In that moment, they both knew it was over and part of her felt like she'd always known, but mostly she still couldn't make any sense of it, of how loving each other didn't seem to be enough.
~~
Susan Sheppard
"Are Uncle John and his boyfriend here yet?" Susan asked when she came home from school that day.
"No, they're not," her mother said.
"And we don't know yet if his guest is just a friend," her father reminded her.
Susan slumped down at the table, disappointed. She was really looking forward to meeting her uncle who'd inspired one of the most interesting talks she'd had with her father about how some people fell in love with people of the same gender.
Her father had also asked her to leave her uncle and his 'guest' in peace because they were traveling from far away and were bound to be tired.
When Uncle John and his friend Rodney arrived, they weren't really tired, but her father still coughed delicately when she started to ask about why Uncle John had brought Rodney along.
Later that day when the two of them were unpacking-in separate rooms-her father told her that Rodney was just a friend. Susan was disappointed. It would have been cool to tell others that her uncle had a boyfriend. She never had anything exciting to tell about her family. Her friends hadn't been impressed when she'd told them her uncle was a pilot for the Air Force.
As the days went on, though, Susan began to question what her father had said.
Uncle John and Rodney kept acting like a married couple. Rodney complained when Uncle John wanted to go out riding but went along anyway, just like her dad when her mother wanted to go to a concert. They also kept smiling at each other the way her parents did when they surprised each other with something.
When she asked her parents-Uncle John and Rodney had gone to town-if they were sure Rodney wasn't Uncle John's boyfriend, her mother laughed. Her father glared at her mother, then turned to Susan and said, "They sleep in different rooms, don't they? Would they do that if they were boyfriends?"
Susan had to give him that. But she still couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. She kept watching them, looking for signs to solve the mystery, but for every time that Uncle John and Rodney insulted each other, there was another where they shared a casual touch. They went to sleep in separate rooms-Susan had stayed up a bit and watched their doors to check-but when they said good night, and not just then really, she saw a longing in their eyes as if they really didn't want to part.
It was a week into their visit when she finally had an idea. She remembered one thing about the talk she'd had with her father, about how some people didn't like it when men were in love with other men and how they said and did hateful things. He'd been very passionate about it too, much more than she would have expected from her rather laid back father.
Now that she thought about it again, seeing Uncle John and Rodney sitting side by side at the breakfast table, trading friendly jibes, she knew why they acted so strange.
"You don't have to hide it," she said.
Everyone at the table looked at her, even Claire, a spoon in her mouth.
"We don't mind that Rodney is your boyfriend. We're not homoph..." Susan looked to her father for help.
Her father hesitated for a second and finally said, "Homophobic."
"Right, that," Susan finished.
She knew that she probably shouldn't have been so forthright, but nobody said anything and in fact, her mother was looking curiously at Uncle John and Rodney.
Rodney was staring at her, mouth open, but no sound coming out. Susan knew that he thought he was the smartest man in the world, but if he thought he could outsmart her, pretending that he and Uncle John were just friends, he was wrong.
Uncle John put his hand on Rodney's arm. "We should... we should talk," he said and pulled Rodney away.
Susan was tempted to follow them, but a look from her father made her stay put and finish her breakfast. They were still not back when she'd finished and nobody made a move to look for them, but by silent agreement, all four of them waited in the living room where they would see when Uncle John and Rodney came back down. Even Claire was playing with her train by the stairs.
It took more than an hour for them to come down, freshly showered and holding hands. Susan beamed. She'd been right! She grinned smugly at her parents, then Uncle John and Rodney. Uncle John sat down with his boyfriend, so close that they were touching, hands still clasped together, and said, "We'll be moving Rodney's stuff to my room."
Nobody congratulated her on how smart she was for figuring it out. But Susan didn't mind too much. She was just glad she'd been able to make sense of it eventually.
Author: velocitygrass
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, Rodney McKay/Jennifer Keller
Rating: G
Warnings/Content notes: ( skip) None that I'm aware of
Spoilers: up to Brain Storm
Word count: 1845
Summary: Three women (or maybe I should say two women and a girl, though I think Susan Sheppard would be very pleased to be considered a woman) try to make sense of John and Rodney's relationship with varying success.
Note: Many thanks to neevebrody for the beta!
Making sense of it
Teyla Emmagan
When Teyla first met John, saw him deliberately smiling at her, she wasn't sure if his charm was a part of being diplomatic where his superior wasn't or if it was his nature. All through that first meeting, she wasn't sure if he was just polite or if there was more to it.
When he picked up her old necklace and placed it around her neck as if he had every right in the world to do so, she stopped seeing it as diplomacy but still wasn't sure if it was their culture or if John had an interest in her that went beyond trading.
Her confusion didn't lessen those first days when the Athosians were invited to stay on Atlantis. John dropped by to chat with her, showing an obvious interest but never following up on it. Again, she didn't know the new inhabitants of Atlantis well enough, nor did she know John well enough, to be sure about his intentions and motivation.
John would give her a bright, charming smile, talk about trust and about how impressed he was with what the Athosians had done in the face of threat. The smile was inviting and full of promise but when he actually invited her, she found herself not alone with him but with her new team and instead of showing her football as he had offered, John spent most of the time teasing Dr. McKay.
It took the dark energy being and Rodney's heroic act to make sense of it. When she saw John's face as he rushed down the stairs and later, the wide smile that was so completely unlike the ones he'd given her that first time and a few times after, she knew what his intentions to her were-or more precisely what they weren't.
~~
Jennifer Keller
Jennifer was disappointed when Ronon never followed up on the moment they'd had during the quarantine. She invited Rodney-or told him to invite her-on a whim after getting the full dose of his mixture of brilliance and arrogance, his whining and his incredible bravery and strength.
She enjoyed the drink they shared but unfortunately, like Ronon, Rodney didn't follow up on it. When she casually dropped by one day before dinner to ask if he wanted to join her, he brushed her off and Jennifer thought that was that.
She was okay with it. She wasn't in love with Rodney. She liked him, considered him a friend and saw the potential for more, but it didn't break her heart when she concluded that he wasn't interested. She wasn't even too disturbed when half an hour later, Rodney entered the mess hall with Sheppard who told him, "You can continue to work later. Food now."
When Rodney began being nice to her, to flirt with her, she remembered the potential she'd first seen. Finding out his behavior was the result of a parasite was disappointing, but then he confessed his love for her, that he had in fact loved her for a while and suddenly it became so much more than potential. It became a viable option.
When Rodney starting asking for Sheppard she didn't mind too much, telling herself that the smile that lit up Rodney's face when Sheppard entered wasn't actually brighter than when he smiled at her. But when he started calling for him one day, desperately shouting for John and nobody else, completely ignoring her presence, she didn't know what to tell herself.
She re-watched the tape of Rodney's declaration of love, assuring herself of his feelings, but whenever she saw him look at Sheppard with such unguarded adoration, something in her told her that what she heard him say again and again on tape and what she saw with her own eyes in his interaction with Sheppard couldn't both be equally true.
She waited for Rodney to make a move after his confession, feeling herself fall in love with first his words-still watched and listened to every now and then-and then all of him.
When he rescued her and finally no longer hid his feelings, she was overjoyed. Their relationship was a good one. It wasn't perfect, but Jennifer wasn't naive enough to believe that such a thing existed. There were things about Rodney that annoyed her, just as she was sure there were things about her that annoyed him, but they got along fine and had a great time together.
Sheppard wasn't gone from his life, of course, and Jennifer would have liked to pretend that it didn't matter to her now that she was with Rodney. But she couldn't stop her feelings of doubt, of not understanding how Rodney could tell her how wonderful she was one moment and then look at Sheppard in a way that she didn't dare try to explain even to herself.
When Rodney asked her to marry him, a part of her, deeply hidden, felt that this had to be the proof, that he chose her over Sheppard, but half an hour later, he mentioned Sheppard's previous marriage and started talking about how he couldn't understand that Sheppard was still single and why he would make a great husband. "But don't tell him I told you," he said at the beginning of it and Jennifer wasn't sure why he thought she would or why he wouldn't want Sheppard to know. Maybe for the same reason she didn't want to hear it.
One year after their engagement, they still hadn't set a date-by mutual agreement. Jennifer's father had a heart attack and she went to visit him, realizing that he'd need help and that she wanted to be there for him. When she returned and told Rodney about her decision, she didn't ask him to join her and he didn't offer.
In that moment, they both knew it was over and part of her felt like she'd always known, but mostly she still couldn't make any sense of it, of how loving each other didn't seem to be enough.
~~
Susan Sheppard
"Are Uncle John and his boyfriend here yet?" Susan asked when she came home from school that day.
"No, they're not," her mother said.
"And we don't know yet if his guest is just a friend," her father reminded her.
Susan slumped down at the table, disappointed. She was really looking forward to meeting her uncle who'd inspired one of the most interesting talks she'd had with her father about how some people fell in love with people of the same gender.
Her father had also asked her to leave her uncle and his 'guest' in peace because they were traveling from far away and were bound to be tired.
When Uncle John and his friend Rodney arrived, they weren't really tired, but her father still coughed delicately when she started to ask about why Uncle John had brought Rodney along.
Later that day when the two of them were unpacking-in separate rooms-her father told her that Rodney was just a friend. Susan was disappointed. It would have been cool to tell others that her uncle had a boyfriend. She never had anything exciting to tell about her family. Her friends hadn't been impressed when she'd told them her uncle was a pilot for the Air Force.
As the days went on, though, Susan began to question what her father had said.
Uncle John and Rodney kept acting like a married couple. Rodney complained when Uncle John wanted to go out riding but went along anyway, just like her dad when her mother wanted to go to a concert. They also kept smiling at each other the way her parents did when they surprised each other with something.
When she asked her parents-Uncle John and Rodney had gone to town-if they were sure Rodney wasn't Uncle John's boyfriend, her mother laughed. Her father glared at her mother, then turned to Susan and said, "They sleep in different rooms, don't they? Would they do that if they were boyfriends?"
Susan had to give him that. But she still couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. She kept watching them, looking for signs to solve the mystery, but for every time that Uncle John and Rodney insulted each other, there was another where they shared a casual touch. They went to sleep in separate rooms-Susan had stayed up a bit and watched their doors to check-but when they said good night, and not just then really, she saw a longing in their eyes as if they really didn't want to part.
It was a week into their visit when she finally had an idea. She remembered one thing about the talk she'd had with her father, about how some people didn't like it when men were in love with other men and how they said and did hateful things. He'd been very passionate about it too, much more than she would have expected from her rather laid back father.
Now that she thought about it again, seeing Uncle John and Rodney sitting side by side at the breakfast table, trading friendly jibes, she knew why they acted so strange.
"You don't have to hide it," she said.
Everyone at the table looked at her, even Claire, a spoon in her mouth.
"We don't mind that Rodney is your boyfriend. We're not homoph..." Susan looked to her father for help.
Her father hesitated for a second and finally said, "Homophobic."
"Right, that," Susan finished.
She knew that she probably shouldn't have been so forthright, but nobody said anything and in fact, her mother was looking curiously at Uncle John and Rodney.
Rodney was staring at her, mouth open, but no sound coming out. Susan knew that he thought he was the smartest man in the world, but if he thought he could outsmart her, pretending that he and Uncle John were just friends, he was wrong.
Uncle John put his hand on Rodney's arm. "We should... we should talk," he said and pulled Rodney away.
Susan was tempted to follow them, but a look from her father made her stay put and finish her breakfast. They were still not back when she'd finished and nobody made a move to look for them, but by silent agreement, all four of them waited in the living room where they would see when Uncle John and Rodney came back down. Even Claire was playing with her train by the stairs.
It took more than an hour for them to come down, freshly showered and holding hands. Susan beamed. She'd been right! She grinned smugly at her parents, then Uncle John and Rodney. Uncle John sat down with his boyfriend, so close that they were touching, hands still clasped together, and said, "We'll be moving Rodney's stuff to my room."
Nobody congratulated her on how smart she was for figuring it out. But Susan didn't mind too much. She was just glad she'd been able to make sense of it eventually.