go cry about it, why don't you?
Everyone has a breaking point. Some of us just reach it quicker and more often than others. I think it's safe to say that I'm on the less frequent end of this spectrum. If you know me, you know that it takes a lot to get me truly fed up and disgusted.
...With every muscle in my body at full torque, I hit this breaking point last night.
I wish I could say that this bears an eerily similar feel to the last time this happened; to the last time I made the decision to distance myself and not put up with it anymore, just over three years ago.
...It doesn't.
We've had our good and even great times. We played so many parts and wore so many hats. Secret lust. Long distance puppy dogs that couldn't get enough of each other to the point of needing to get a plane ticket one week before the end of the first semester of college. Our first christmas together. Never able to keep our hands off each other. Finally "shocking the world" with our news that everyone already knew:
We were in love. Love that never slept. Love that made Romeo and Juliet look clueless. They didn't know what love means. Me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love. Love that made us wonder how the fuck it could hurt so bad when we weren't together but feel so good when we were. The drive 1,100 miles in 16 hours without stopping to to close my eyes kind of love. Love letters. Text messages. Staying awake just to listen to the sound of your breath on the phone as you slept.
We made the world jealous of us.
Oh how we've fallen from this grace.
I remember being told that it was a problem that I became too comfortable -- being told that I started taking things for granted, and that everything felt mediocre because of it. Yeah, maybe. Maybe I DID get too comfortable with eggshells under my feet. Maybe I DID take something for granted... my blatant lack of self-respect.
...but maybe it wasn't just me who got too comfortable. After years of putting my own needs aside to tend to a scraped knee or a papercut, maybe YOU were the one who got too comfortable having me around. Just maybe.
I ignored it, you accepted it.
I fought it, you fought me. We fought each other.
I denied it.
I begged. I pleaded. I cried.
I lost my mind...
and I've lost you.
My knees still buckle when I smell your perfume on a stranger.
My heart still skips when I hear your name.
My mind still relaxes when I hear your voice.
But I've lost my patience as well.
I can do better for myself.
Better than you? Probably not. Better than what you've shown you think of me? Absolutely.
It's all comes down to respect, or lack thereof. It stops now... I am standing up for myself, and you will realize that I am not to be pushed over anymore.
Thousands of people will come and go throughout our lives, but only a few will stay. Try your best to separate who's who.
I will never, ever stop loving you, but I can't be your boomerang anymore.
If you toss me away, I can't come back this time.
...With every muscle in my body at full torque, I hit this breaking point last night.
I wish I could say that this bears an eerily similar feel to the last time this happened; to the last time I made the decision to distance myself and not put up with it anymore, just over three years ago.
...It doesn't.
We've had our good and even great times. We played so many parts and wore so many hats. Secret lust. Long distance puppy dogs that couldn't get enough of each other to the point of needing to get a plane ticket one week before the end of the first semester of college. Our first christmas together. Never able to keep our hands off each other. Finally "shocking the world" with our news that everyone already knew:
We were in love. Love that never slept. Love that made Romeo and Juliet look clueless. They didn't know what love means. Me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love. Love that made us wonder how the fuck it could hurt so bad when we weren't together but feel so good when we were. The drive 1,100 miles in 16 hours without stopping to to close my eyes kind of love. Love letters. Text messages. Staying awake just to listen to the sound of your breath on the phone as you slept.
We made the world jealous of us.
Oh how we've fallen from this grace.
I remember being told that it was a problem that I became too comfortable -- being told that I started taking things for granted, and that everything felt mediocre because of it. Yeah, maybe. Maybe I DID get too comfortable with eggshells under my feet. Maybe I DID take something for granted... my blatant lack of self-respect.
...but maybe it wasn't just me who got too comfortable. After years of putting my own needs aside to tend to a scraped knee or a papercut, maybe YOU were the one who got too comfortable having me around. Just maybe.
I ignored it, you accepted it.
I fought it, you fought me. We fought each other.
I denied it.
I begged. I pleaded. I cried.
I lost my mind...
and I've lost you.
My knees still buckle when I smell your perfume on a stranger.
My heart still skips when I hear your name.
My mind still relaxes when I hear your voice.
But I've lost my patience as well.
I can do better for myself.
Better than you? Probably not. Better than what you've shown you think of me? Absolutely.
It's all comes down to respect, or lack thereof. It stops now... I am standing up for myself, and you will realize that I am not to be pushed over anymore.
Thousands of people will come and go throughout our lives, but only a few will stay. Try your best to separate who's who.
I will never, ever stop loving you, but I can't be your boomerang anymore.
If you toss me away, I can't come back this time.