(no subject)
I'm the kind of guy who has all the answers for everything and everyone, but still can't figure out what he's doing next. If my life depended on describing myself in ten words or less, I'd probably wind up dead. There's a lot to me, and it's more than just about anyone I know would give me credit for. It's not their fault; I just tend to keep certain sides of me to myself. I wouldn't want any of my friends to read this and feel upset or bad that I don't think they know me. That's not what I mean. They know me as well as just about anyone ever will.
Sometimes I wish I could fast-forward a few years ahead of myself, just to see where I'd be. I know I've said this before, but think back five years. Did you ever expect to be where you are now? If you're at or around 21 years old, like myself, then you most likely didn't. Just imagine what ANOTHER five years could bring your way. I mean, who wouldn't want to get a sneak preview, to find out if the things I'm doing right now are worth my time; to see if the things I'm fretting over are really that big of a deal, and to see if the things I hope for will ever come to fruition.
I think about this fast-forwarding thing a lot. Tonight, I realized that it's complete idiocy.
I need to make these things happen. "Five years from now" won't exist for me, until I force it to exist.
I know what I want for my future, and I know how to make it happen. It's time to stop daydreaming about it, and time to start acting toward it.
I need to put my grades in school where they belong. "C's get degrees" isn't going to cut it. I'm so much better than that.
I need to make a decision on what type of career I want to persue. I know what I enjoy doing. It's time to make it worth something.
I need to start saving a little bit of money. Living check-to-check sucks.
I need to get out more. I'm losing touch with some of my friends and I miss them. We don't all hang out as a group as much as we used to, but I find myself passing on the few opportunities I get to see everyone lately... not good. Regardless of that, I'm pretty good at making new friends. I just haven't tried lately. I constantly have people I meet in passing asking me to hang out on the weekends. I never follow through... and I need to work on changing that, starting today.
In short, I need to start proving that I'm worth everything I always claim to be. I say the right things but act the wrong way, and it got me by for years, but it's caught up to me.
About an hour ago, I was feeling like an absolute miserable mess. I felt weak and pathetic. This week has been one of the worst of my life and I was ready to crumble under it and give up.
THIS CAN NOT HAPPEN.
It's the crumbling and the weakness that got me here to begin with.
For years, I've been all talk. NO MORE.
Ironically enough, it was reading through old journal entries that inspired me tonight.
Old journal entries of feeling defeated and crushed, followed by later entries of feeling accomplished, motivated, confident, and free.
I made a promise in this entry about 3 and 1/2 years ago.
I still intend to keep this one.
I can't see my future without you...
Sometimes I wish I could fast-forward a few years ahead of myself, just to see where I'd be. I know I've said this before, but think back five years. Did you ever expect to be where you are now? If you're at or around 21 years old, like myself, then you most likely didn't. Just imagine what ANOTHER five years could bring your way. I mean, who wouldn't want to get a sneak preview, to find out if the things I'm doing right now are worth my time; to see if the things I'm fretting over are really that big of a deal, and to see if the things I hope for will ever come to fruition.
I think about this fast-forwarding thing a lot. Tonight, I realized that it's complete idiocy.
I need to make these things happen. "Five years from now" won't exist for me, until I force it to exist.
I know what I want for my future, and I know how to make it happen. It's time to stop daydreaming about it, and time to start acting toward it.
I need to put my grades in school where they belong. "C's get degrees" isn't going to cut it. I'm so much better than that.
I need to make a decision on what type of career I want to persue. I know what I enjoy doing. It's time to make it worth something.
I need to start saving a little bit of money. Living check-to-check sucks.
I need to get out more. I'm losing touch with some of my friends and I miss them. We don't all hang out as a group as much as we used to, but I find myself passing on the few opportunities I get to see everyone lately... not good. Regardless of that, I'm pretty good at making new friends. I just haven't tried lately. I constantly have people I meet in passing asking me to hang out on the weekends. I never follow through... and I need to work on changing that, starting today.
In short, I need to start proving that I'm worth everything I always claim to be. I say the right things but act the wrong way, and it got me by for years, but it's caught up to me.
About an hour ago, I was feeling like an absolute miserable mess. I felt weak and pathetic. This week has been one of the worst of my life and I was ready to crumble under it and give up.
THIS CAN NOT HAPPEN.
It's the crumbling and the weakness that got me here to begin with.
For years, I've been all talk. NO MORE.
Ironically enough, it was reading through old journal entries that inspired me tonight.
Old journal entries of feeling defeated and crushed, followed by later entries of feeling accomplished, motivated, confident, and free.
I made a promise in this entry about 3 and 1/2 years ago.
I still intend to keep this one.
I can't see my future without you...