Ewan felt like he was on the job. He put on his best look of confidence and stuck out his still meat sticky hand. "Sir, you've got yourself a deal." He decided to leave the part constructed in his head about how the packing slip had blown away when a bus had driven by, but it didn't seem like Mr. Rat cared for an explanation, so he wouldn't give him one. Once the door was shut on them while he went presumably get their money, Ewan turned toward Jonathan and mouthed "we got it” He didn't want to speak too loudly yet in case someone was listening at the door. Moments later the rat came back with a wad of cash in hand and two other guys behind him. They started to carry the crates of meat inside. "Hey, you guys can have a free dolly as well." Ewan smiled a little at them and took the money that he held out for him. "Yeah, so um, we'll be heading out now. It was a pleasure doing business with you." Ewan practically tore down the alleyway to get out of there. He didn't want them to suddenly realise what was going on and come back to get them. Hoping that Jonathan was right behind him, once they were back on the street he paused to crack up.
He didn't ask questions and didn't stick around to see what happened next. He practically followed on his heels until they hit the street. He turned to his with a huge grin. "Jesus, I can't believe they fell for it!" he laughed, but then turned back to get the name of the place so he would definitely not come back as a customer. He'd probably catch tetanus from having a chicken salad with his luck. Which, it turns out, wasn't so rotten after all, despite the drying bits of meat making the hem of his jeans stiff. He didn't care. Nothing a wash couldn't take care of. "Come on," he tugged on Ewan’s arm as they made their way back to the bar where Ewan had parked. "Alright, so I think that means 500 each," he held his hand out, an eager expression plastered all over his face. They spent the rest of the walk back laughing and counting their cash, which rat-man paid in very small and unmarked bills until they reached the carpark where one of Ewan’s prized motorbikes waited. Jonathan turned to him with a bit of a smile, “I just thought of something. We never did pay our tab at the pub.”
Pocketing his newly acquired 500, Ewan nodded in agreement. “You’re right, you know. We did get out of the tab. We’re going to have to think of more clever ways to start pub fights so that no one realises we’ve not paid.” Looking from Jonathan to the bike, he punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Come on, man. You need to come by the house to pick up the present I got you. I’ll tell you already it’s a truly horrendous dish set that my mum gave to me that I won’t use. You can take it to Iceland should you ever go back there.” Ewan figured that he never needed to buy Jonathan another gift of any sort after the farm, and in being a cheap bastard he’d stick to that forever. “You know you’ve always wanted to ride bitch. Give it a try.”
He folded his cash away, stuffing it into his pocket and crossed his arms as Ewan straddled his bike. Chewing his lip in thought, he thought about it for a long beat before rolling his eyes and letting out a huge sigh. “I know I’m going to regret this. If you tell anyone, I’ll fucking kill you,” he mumbled, toeing his meat-contaminated boots off and kicking them under a nearby car. Throwing his leg over the seat, he settled in and snaked one arm around Ewan’s waist, sliding close the instant the engine revved up. “You’re enjoying this far too much. Let's take the long way round, yeah?”
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