(no subject)
havent posted in a while so i shall
shins grandma of 100 years old died this month. sad, but not really because she was old and was tired of living and she died with family around so it was a good death. i cant be sad.
the shocking thing was the funeral. japanese funerals are sooooooo ...whats the word... long and frustrating and complicated. but it was a very interesting experience.
it lasts 3 days. the first day, friday when we got the call after work, we went to shins parents house and we had to greet other family members. after they left, we had to stay up most of the night sitting by the dead body that lays on a futon in the living room to make sure the incense and candle dont go out. there, mom dad shin and shins brother and wife talked about family and memories of grandma. technology is awesome so we had some long lasting incense and candles so we could all get aobut 3-4 hours of sleep.
the next day, peeps from the neighborhood and more family members came in and out of the hosue to visit grandma. my sis in law and i were incharge of serving tea to everyone who came in the house. we had to serve the asshole family members all day (shins family and his relatives on his fathers side dont get along. they had fights for inheritance and now are generally on a non speaking basis. they are for the most part insensitive jerks)
about 3, someone came to pick up the body and take it to the funeral home. there, we served more tea and snacks. there is a big room where the family and the body can chill out. after preperations, the funeral home peeps washed the body in front of us. we were all incharge of sprinkling the corpse with water, then we watched them wash her hair, face, arms and legs. they did the rest with the sheet raised so we didnt have to see dead old lady bits. then, they changed her clothes and got her ready for her "journey" and put makeup on her.
in the evening, we had the first ceremony. this was the ceremony where we all had to wear suits. i bought a suit on the way to his house on friday (later i find that my suit wasnt good enough. there are specific suits for funerals. i couldnt tell the fucking difference tho... i didnt look any different than anyone else! stupid) it was almost hilarious, though. shins grandma is a buddhist and so we had a buddhist funeral. a prist comes and after we bow and shake our gem bracelets around, he chants and sings sutras for about 45 min. ok, when this dude came out, me and my sis in law almost laughed. this was THE BIGGEST guy i have seen in this country so far LET ALONE the biggest priest!!! HOLLLY SHIT he was a fat bastard!!! i mean seriously obese! after what seemed to be years of chanting (where it sounded like he was chanting my name "namanda namanda amanda amanda......") he has a little speech to the audience. he talked about the path to enlightenment and how he still had a long way to go any many things to work on. ID SAY SO U FAT BASTARD!!! how can you talk about restraint and resisting temtation etc and expect people to believe a damn word u say looking that big, u glutton!!??
anyway, put up with the bad half o the familys crap, then we all went to sleep together at the funeral home next to grandma together.
next day, since i am part of the host family now (me, shin, shins bro, mom, dad, and sis inlaw) we had to host the funeral. we had to wear black kimonos (which was pretty cool exept for he the fact that wearing a real kimono REALLY HURTS!!!) i was introduced to so many people, dont rememaber any of them. anyway, the whole neighborhood comes to the funeral. more chanting, and then everyone puts a bunch of flowers on grandma and says goodbye. shins brother loses it. hes screaming "GRANDMA GRANDMA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" and crying. it was pretty shocking. probably no one would have cried if he hadnt made a scene, but i guess he really loved his grammy. afterwards, the family helps put the lid on teh coffin and the we put it into the hurst. then we follow it in taxis to the crematorium. there, more incense and bowing and then they put her in the burner. we go back, have dinner at the funeral home (more bullshit from the dumb half of the family) and then we go back to the crematorium. there, her bones and ashes are all layed out on a table and everyone takes turns picking them up with long chopsticks and putting them in an urn. finally we go back, say more goodbyes and finally i can take off that fucking kimono. i couldnt tell u what is worse. a corset or a kimono... im thinking the kimono is worse.... dont know how people could have worn one all the time back in the day.
there is still more funeral to come. another in march and then another in 3 months, 6 months and a year. buddhist funerals here are really lonnnnnnnggggg.
in other news, i just found out that mom and billy broke up!!!!!!!!!! can u believe it??? 16 years together! mom finally snapped and told him to get out. tired of his non commitment and how she does everything alone. pays for the house alone. he wont go to family events. she just had enough and wants a fresh start. she is going to try and sell the house too. big changes for mom... im worried about her, but she is strong so i think she will be ok. but its kind of like a 3rd divorce for her and this makes me sad that she has had so many relationship problems in her life. i wish she could just be happy and find someone she loves to take care of her for the rest of her life for a change. fuck men. my dad, her other ex husband, her soul mate who died before they could get married, and now billy, who wouldnt marry her... bitches them all!!
shins grandma of 100 years old died this month. sad, but not really because she was old and was tired of living and she died with family around so it was a good death. i cant be sad.
the shocking thing was the funeral. japanese funerals are sooooooo ...whats the word... long and frustrating and complicated. but it was a very interesting experience.
it lasts 3 days. the first day, friday when we got the call after work, we went to shins parents house and we had to greet other family members. after they left, we had to stay up most of the night sitting by the dead body that lays on a futon in the living room to make sure the incense and candle dont go out. there, mom dad shin and shins brother and wife talked about family and memories of grandma. technology is awesome so we had some long lasting incense and candles so we could all get aobut 3-4 hours of sleep.
the next day, peeps from the neighborhood and more family members came in and out of the hosue to visit grandma. my sis in law and i were incharge of serving tea to everyone who came in the house. we had to serve the asshole family members all day (shins family and his relatives on his fathers side dont get along. they had fights for inheritance and now are generally on a non speaking basis. they are for the most part insensitive jerks)
about 3, someone came to pick up the body and take it to the funeral home. there, we served more tea and snacks. there is a big room where the family and the body can chill out. after preperations, the funeral home peeps washed the body in front of us. we were all incharge of sprinkling the corpse with water, then we watched them wash her hair, face, arms and legs. they did the rest with the sheet raised so we didnt have to see dead old lady bits. then, they changed her clothes and got her ready for her "journey" and put makeup on her.
in the evening, we had the first ceremony. this was the ceremony where we all had to wear suits. i bought a suit on the way to his house on friday (later i find that my suit wasnt good enough. there are specific suits for funerals. i couldnt tell the fucking difference tho... i didnt look any different than anyone else! stupid) it was almost hilarious, though. shins grandma is a buddhist and so we had a buddhist funeral. a prist comes and after we bow and shake our gem bracelets around, he chants and sings sutras for about 45 min. ok, when this dude came out, me and my sis in law almost laughed. this was THE BIGGEST guy i have seen in this country so far LET ALONE the biggest priest!!! HOLLLY SHIT he was a fat bastard!!! i mean seriously obese! after what seemed to be years of chanting (where it sounded like he was chanting my name "namanda namanda amanda amanda......") he has a little speech to the audience. he talked about the path to enlightenment and how he still had a long way to go any many things to work on. ID SAY SO U FAT BASTARD!!! how can you talk about restraint and resisting temtation etc and expect people to believe a damn word u say looking that big, u glutton!!??
anyway, put up with the bad half o the familys crap, then we all went to sleep together at the funeral home next to grandma together.
next day, since i am part of the host family now (me, shin, shins bro, mom, dad, and sis inlaw) we had to host the funeral. we had to wear black kimonos (which was pretty cool exept for he the fact that wearing a real kimono REALLY HURTS!!!) i was introduced to so many people, dont rememaber any of them. anyway, the whole neighborhood comes to the funeral. more chanting, and then everyone puts a bunch of flowers on grandma and says goodbye. shins brother loses it. hes screaming "GRANDMA GRANDMA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" and crying. it was pretty shocking. probably no one would have cried if he hadnt made a scene, but i guess he really loved his grammy. afterwards, the family helps put the lid on teh coffin and the we put it into the hurst. then we follow it in taxis to the crematorium. there, more incense and bowing and then they put her in the burner. we go back, have dinner at the funeral home (more bullshit from the dumb half of the family) and then we go back to the crematorium. there, her bones and ashes are all layed out on a table and everyone takes turns picking them up with long chopsticks and putting them in an urn. finally we go back, say more goodbyes and finally i can take off that fucking kimono. i couldnt tell u what is worse. a corset or a kimono... im thinking the kimono is worse.... dont know how people could have worn one all the time back in the day.
there is still more funeral to come. another in march and then another in 3 months, 6 months and a year. buddhist funerals here are really lonnnnnnnggggg.
in other news, i just found out that mom and billy broke up!!!!!!!!!! can u believe it??? 16 years together! mom finally snapped and told him to get out. tired of his non commitment and how she does everything alone. pays for the house alone. he wont go to family events. she just had enough and wants a fresh start. she is going to try and sell the house too. big changes for mom... im worried about her, but she is strong so i think she will be ok. but its kind of like a 3rd divorce for her and this makes me sad that she has had so many relationship problems in her life. i wish she could just be happy and find someone she loves to take care of her for the rest of her life for a change. fuck men. my dad, her other ex husband, her soul mate who died before they could get married, and now billy, who wouldnt marry her... bitches them all!!