I don't know, this could break my heart or save me....
Do you ever feel like life stops and starts? Hmm lately that's how I've been feeling. The last 6 months, so much has happened, I've changed and grown up so much, and now I find myself kind of missing what I had before. No, not Alex, I'm talking about my life before that. I miss my friends. I miss who I was. I guess for 6 months now I've tried really hard to *find* happiness, but maybe happiness happens when you're not expecting it, like just randomly on a Sunday afternoon you can realise that actually life is not so bad.
Guys I'm sorry I kind of neglected you in the past 6 months. I'm gonna be myself again now. Especially you Bobby... I missed you. I think I finally became at peace with myself.
There's a few reasons for that. But work is definitely one of them. You know, when you start a new job and everything seems so shiny and new and exciting? It's amazing how quickly that image can be shattered. I've never seen so much bitching, ass-kissing, and, worst of all, bullying in one small department. I've seen people sink to depths that I didn't really think were possible. It goes beyond office politics, or self-advancement. In particular, two of the people I work with are just cruel. One girl is making two of our admin staffs lives a misery. It is bullying. I'm proud of them, they don't give in. They try to beat her by working hard - but it will never work. I'm absolutely sick of it. I can't believe the management allow this to happen in an insurance company. I mean, ffs, this is the kind of thing that we do insurance AGAINST, the management should be able to spot this kind of thing a mile off. I can't wait to leave in August, it cannot come too soon. I actually feel dread on the train every day on my way in, I just hate the thought of working there.
I was thinking about Josh today. I hope he's okay. I wonder if what we said about his mum is true. Maybe that is coming to be reality.
My life has been so much about work lately. Although I did go to see Equus with my friend who's now gone back to the US. I have to say, Harry Potter has an incredibly small dick. He's very brave to show that on stage!!! Went out with Bobs a couple of times last week, I've missed our times together. I'm glad he's doing well with Simon, everyone thought they wouldn't make it. But they've proved everyone wrong. See, long distance can work. You just have to make the effort. I'm proud of him, my lil' bro is doing well. Went to Nando's. I think it's going downhill a bit?? The chicken wasn't as nice as before, and they've changed the menu a bit. Still, it's cheap and filling and that's really what we needed last week. We went to Pizza Express on Friday, it tasted goooooooooooooooooooooood. I'm not a big fan of their pizzas, but the Four Cheeses is sublime. It always hits the spot, plus of course the dough balls. But the portions are so damn small!! At least we went to the cake shop afterwards and stuffed ourselves with cheesecake and tiramisu.
That's all part of getting back to who I was. It's been so long since we did those kind of things. For some reason, everything else took over. Well, it's time to get life prioritsed again and to make space for new things in life. I'm happy.
JW - hope you sleep well. ;)
JI - I hope your mum's okay. I'm really worried about you... please give me a call if you read this... and send my regards to all your family.
Guys I'm sorry I kind of neglected you in the past 6 months. I'm gonna be myself again now. Especially you Bobby... I missed you. I think I finally became at peace with myself.
There's a few reasons for that. But work is definitely one of them. You know, when you start a new job and everything seems so shiny and new and exciting? It's amazing how quickly that image can be shattered. I've never seen so much bitching, ass-kissing, and, worst of all, bullying in one small department. I've seen people sink to depths that I didn't really think were possible. It goes beyond office politics, or self-advancement. In particular, two of the people I work with are just cruel. One girl is making two of our admin staffs lives a misery. It is bullying. I'm proud of them, they don't give in. They try to beat her by working hard - but it will never work. I'm absolutely sick of it. I can't believe the management allow this to happen in an insurance company. I mean, ffs, this is the kind of thing that we do insurance AGAINST, the management should be able to spot this kind of thing a mile off. I can't wait to leave in August, it cannot come too soon. I actually feel dread on the train every day on my way in, I just hate the thought of working there.
I was thinking about Josh today. I hope he's okay. I wonder if what we said about his mum is true. Maybe that is coming to be reality.
My life has been so much about work lately. Although I did go to see Equus with my friend who's now gone back to the US. I have to say, Harry Potter has an incredibly small dick. He's very brave to show that on stage!!! Went out with Bobs a couple of times last week, I've missed our times together. I'm glad he's doing well with Simon, everyone thought they wouldn't make it. But they've proved everyone wrong. See, long distance can work. You just have to make the effort. I'm proud of him, my lil' bro is doing well. Went to Nando's. I think it's going downhill a bit?? The chicken wasn't as nice as before, and they've changed the menu a bit. Still, it's cheap and filling and that's really what we needed last week. We went to Pizza Express on Friday, it tasted goooooooooooooooooooooood. I'm not a big fan of their pizzas, but the Four Cheeses is sublime. It always hits the spot, plus of course the dough balls. But the portions are so damn small!! At least we went to the cake shop afterwards and stuffed ourselves with cheesecake and tiramisu.
That's all part of getting back to who I was. It's been so long since we did those kind of things. For some reason, everything else took over. Well, it's time to get life prioritsed again and to make space for new things in life. I'm happy.
JW - hope you sleep well. ;)
JI - I hope your mum's okay. I'm really worried about you... please give me a call if you read this... and send my regards to all your family.