The stony path of life (2/?)
I can’t go home now. It’s so cold and lonely there. Without her. So I’m just walking through the night thinking of her. I can’t believe I broke up with her after all we’ve been through with George, Izzy and who would forget the crisis with her father. Our relationship surived all of that trouble, but the kids thing … How can a relationship survive something like that? You can’t compromise in any way! That’s THE dealbreaker!
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
Even if one of us gave in like she tried to, we would never be really happy again. I couldn’t live with the fact that she gave up one of her biggest wishes for me! She would be a fantastic mom and I’m pretty sure she will be one day. She’ll find someone who has the same dreams and wishes.
I didn’t want us to burn out
I didn’t come here to hurt you
Now I can’t stop
I wish I could give her what she wants, what she needs, but I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t have kids. I mean, I love kids. But I couldn’t handle my own. When I come home I don’t want to deal with crying children. I have to deal with them the whole day at work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my work, but when I come home I just wanna relax with my girlfriend. So no children. God, I love her so much! I’d take a bullet for her! But kids are something I absolutely can’t give her. And she would always be kinda hurt and sad when she sees kids on the street and knows, she doesn’t have a little boy or a little girl at home. She may be hurt right now, but that’ll go away. Having no kids, that pain would stay forever!
I want you to know that it doesn’t matter
Where we take this road, someone’s gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn’t have loved me better
But I want you to move on, so I’m already gone
We could hve carried on. But the longer we would have done so, the more it would have hurt both of us when the unavoidable would have come. The pain of a breakup would be much worse in a few years than it is now! So I had to go! It’s the best for both of us! But though I know that, I feel terrible! I’ve been gone only for a few hours now and yet I already miss her. But I can’t go back! Never! She’s not mine anymore!
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you’ll find another
That doesn’t always make you wanna cry
I’m afraid of the next days. We will meet at the hospital and probably we’ll have to work with each other. It will be torture! To see her and to know that she’s not mine anymore. To probably look into her reddened eyes and to know I caused the tears. To know she’s not meant to be mine. To know she’ll find someone else, someone better than me. That scares me!
Started with the perfect kiss
Then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn’t keep this love alive
I kinda wish I didn’t kiss her in that bathroom! It was perfect and it developed into something great, but in the end, was it really worth the pain? The tears? The loneliness I feel now? The answer is so simple! Yes, she was worth it! She’s worth everything! What we had was unique and wonderful. I shouldn’t even think about regretting anything of it! The time with her was the happiest time of my life!
You know that I love you so
I love you enough
To let you go
I’m not so sure where I am right now, but I couldn’t care less! I just walked away from her like 2 hours ago and kept on walking even though I already had reached my appartement. I needed to get away from everything and everyone to clear my head. But I can’t get her face out of my head. The tears running down her beautiful cheeks. The sad look in her eyes. And the more I think about it, the closer do I come to the conclusion that this breakup was a horrible mistake. I thought we’d be together forever! That she’s the love of my life! It felt so right with her, so easy! And now everything is just comlicated!
I want you to know that it doesn’t matter
Where we take this road, someone’s gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn’t have loved me better
But I want you to move on, so I’m already gone
We couldn’t keep going! We wouldn’t go anywhere. I don’t know if our love would be strong enough to survive this. Sometimes love just isn’t enough! I did the right thing! The only right thing! Leaving her was the only way to keep both of us from more pain!
I’m already gone, already gone
You can’t make it feel right when you know that it’s wrong
I’m already gone, already gone
I should go home. Home. That’s not my home. It’s just my appartement. She is … was my home. I really need to stop thinking such things! I need to get back. I should take a nap before I go to work. Or at least I should try. I don’t want to look like crap the whole day. I don’t want to make it obvious to everyone. Though in a few days everybody will know. I mean, we’re talking about Seattle Grace-Mercy West! People talk …
There’s no moving on, so I’m already gone