Deserving
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to write. I just know that if I don't do anything about it, I might just explode from all the pent up guilt and sadness. I can't cry out loud, and that makes it even harder. Crying while trying not to make any single sound leaves you with shaking hands and pain in your chest. Whenever I make even the slightest noise, I shut myself up mentally, telling myself that I deserve this. I made a mistake, and this is the consequence of that.
I can't stress enough how sorry I am. It would just seem pretentious of me if I keep saying those words. Instead, I'll abide by your wish. I won't push it. I won't push myself to you. If it's me that you're getting tired of, I'll...I don't know. I really don't know what to do except to wait and hope. I'll fight the urge to reach out if it seems that you don't want me to or if you don't want to be bothered. I will keep slapping my hand every time I try to reach for my phone. I'll hide it, but I won't turn it off. I still have hope of hearing your voice.
I would like to apologize again for my rudeness and disregard. They will not be repeated.
I hope that you won't be upset anymore. I hope that you'll feel better. I hope that you'll forgive me.
I'm sorry.
I can't stress enough how sorry I am. It would just seem pretentious of me if I keep saying those words. Instead, I'll abide by your wish. I won't push it. I won't push myself to you. If it's me that you're getting tired of, I'll...I don't know. I really don't know what to do except to wait and hope. I'll fight the urge to reach out if it seems that you don't want me to or if you don't want to be bothered. I will keep slapping my hand every time I try to reach for my phone. I'll hide it, but I won't turn it off. I still have hope of hearing your voice.
I would like to apologize again for my rudeness and disregard. They will not be repeated.
I hope that you won't be upset anymore. I hope that you'll feel better. I hope that you'll forgive me.
I'm sorry.