Life Update: The Grandiose Mystery of the Boy Who Finally Grew Up
Randomly, I remembered that I had a journal where I would capture all my inner workings and letters to people that I knew would never read them, at a point in my life where I feel like I have so much bottled up and in dire need of a release. A place, I remembered as safe, as comfort and fear, as a full-sized mirror that I could just be. So, here I am again. Just for an update.
My military career came and went by in a flash. I spent nine and some change years learning and honing my skills, developing everlasting relationships, and harboring ever creasing body harms and ailments, all for the sake of my country. I earned awards, I gained rank, I made stupid decisions, I got into dicey situations, and I almost went to jail. I learned a lot about who I am, and how I will be for the rest of my life. The lessons from my peers and superiors, sometimes helpful and mostly a fucking haphazard stitch work of other peoples ideas and thoughts, were all worth it.
Some of the friends I made along the way are now forever friends, regardless of how long its been since we last talked. I could call any of them up right now if I needed anything. I also lost a lot of friendships that I thought were forever, and that's okay.
Last I was here, my 20 year old self was pining over previous girlfriends that I haven't spoken to in almost 15 years. But through the wonder of social media, we've been able to peek into each others lives, and I'm happy that they're all happy and doing well. It's been a hard fought road of navigating that dating scene. I made mistakes for sure, and definitely missed some signals. One particular awful sexcapade sent me to court with a pending rape charge over my head. I am so fortunate to have been acquitted of those charges, but just the action of being charged for that crime as a cover for shitty mistakes has changed me down in my core. I'm lucky, however, that I had managed to find the love of my life, and she had every fiber of her being in support of me.
That's right, old friend! I have a wife. And two beautiful kids that never stop talking. They're my pride and joy. They're my reason for striving to be a better person.
I met Chelsea through a fellow Airman in the Air Force. Initially, she was attracted to my friend Justin, and I to her sister, Ashley. Justin had a thing for Chelsea's friend Whitney, and Ashley said I wasn't her type. But then she got pregnant and had a kid, so that made things awkward, and she showed some pretty awful red flags, so I dropped it and moved on. Happy to help Justin as a Wingman so he could get closer to Whitney, I started hanging out with Chelsea.
At 22 Chelsea was a fresh college graduate coming down to help her sister with the baby who was a bright, cheery, terribly punny, and interesting woman. Something about her interested me, though, at the time I didn't know what. She was in a kind-of relationship with some guy back in Pennsylvania, but found talking to me comforting. She wasn't the type of person I usually fell for: broken, mysterious, and hard to open up to. Everything about her was right on her sleeve. If she didn't like something, she let me know. If she did, she let me know. It became a quick give and take in my mind to see how much she would mean to me. Especially as we started texting and calling more often, just to talk. I let her in and showed her the 'me' I was working on, decided she liked it and we gave it a shot.
We were playing a game called 'Words with Friends' and she somehow put in a word worth a gazillion points. In a game where I was clearly dominating that ass. Justin and I were at GameStop looking for something new to play when I got the notification. I immediately called her. She admitted to cheating on the app to get a score in order to impress me.
Well, fuck.
It worked.
From then on its been a wild roller coaster of events between us. And I can't imagine another person so well suited to me. She's understanding, she's warm, she's incredibly anxious about all the things I'm not. A perfect heads to my tails.
Maybe I'll come back and start just getting things out of my head and on to a page.
I have lots more to tell.
My military career came and went by in a flash. I spent nine and some change years learning and honing my skills, developing everlasting relationships, and harboring ever creasing body harms and ailments, all for the sake of my country. I earned awards, I gained rank, I made stupid decisions, I got into dicey situations, and I almost went to jail. I learned a lot about who I am, and how I will be for the rest of my life. The lessons from my peers and superiors, sometimes helpful and mostly a fucking haphazard stitch work of other peoples ideas and thoughts, were all worth it.
Some of the friends I made along the way are now forever friends, regardless of how long its been since we last talked. I could call any of them up right now if I needed anything. I also lost a lot of friendships that I thought were forever, and that's okay.
Last I was here, my 20 year old self was pining over previous girlfriends that I haven't spoken to in almost 15 years. But through the wonder of social media, we've been able to peek into each others lives, and I'm happy that they're all happy and doing well. It's been a hard fought road of navigating that dating scene. I made mistakes for sure, and definitely missed some signals. One particular awful sexcapade sent me to court with a pending rape charge over my head. I am so fortunate to have been acquitted of those charges, but just the action of being charged for that crime as a cover for shitty mistakes has changed me down in my core. I'm lucky, however, that I had managed to find the love of my life, and she had every fiber of her being in support of me.
That's right, old friend! I have a wife. And two beautiful kids that never stop talking. They're my pride and joy. They're my reason for striving to be a better person.
I met Chelsea through a fellow Airman in the Air Force. Initially, she was attracted to my friend Justin, and I to her sister, Ashley. Justin had a thing for Chelsea's friend Whitney, and Ashley said I wasn't her type. But then she got pregnant and had a kid, so that made things awkward, and she showed some pretty awful red flags, so I dropped it and moved on. Happy to help Justin as a Wingman so he could get closer to Whitney, I started hanging out with Chelsea.
At 22 Chelsea was a fresh college graduate coming down to help her sister with the baby who was a bright, cheery, terribly punny, and interesting woman. Something about her interested me, though, at the time I didn't know what. She was in a kind-of relationship with some guy back in Pennsylvania, but found talking to me comforting. She wasn't the type of person I usually fell for: broken, mysterious, and hard to open up to. Everything about her was right on her sleeve. If she didn't like something, she let me know. If she did, she let me know. It became a quick give and take in my mind to see how much she would mean to me. Especially as we started texting and calling more often, just to talk. I let her in and showed her the 'me' I was working on, decided she liked it and we gave it a shot.
We were playing a game called 'Words with Friends' and she somehow put in a word worth a gazillion points. In a game where I was clearly dominating that ass. Justin and I were at GameStop looking for something new to play when I got the notification. I immediately called her. She admitted to cheating on the app to get a score in order to impress me.
Well, fuck.
It worked.
From then on its been a wild roller coaster of events between us. And I can't imagine another person so well suited to me. She's understanding, she's warm, she's incredibly anxious about all the things I'm not. A perfect heads to my tails.
Maybe I'll come back and start just getting things out of my head and on to a page.
I have lots more to tell.