And if you close your eyes, does it almost seem like you've been here before
...so really, I do intend to post pictures from New Mexico eventually, now that it's been almost 6 months, but we've all noticed I'm a little slow on...everything.
Hi LJ.
I appreciated the comments on my last post! I just wanted to say that! LJ will always be a place where I was actually capable of meeting people and making friends, something I find sorely lacking in other places >.>.
Anyway. It's a new year, and that means I must complete my traditional year-end meme, even though my LJ presence has been horrifically lacking. I am not altogether gone! Also I know my mom still checks. Hi mom.
1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
I went to New Mexico for the first time! I also fell down a staircase I'd previously been climbing and descending successfully for about 27 years.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
You know what. The flossing thing never works. I give up. I did make a Rosh Hashanah resolution, though, to talk to my cousin Terry, and I kept that, so that must count for osmething.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My ex-boyfriend's wife had her baby, and said baby got very sick and I sent them an email but I never heard back. Baby's okay, I expect I shall never meet her, as we are, as ever, not at all close.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Miraculously no.
5. What countries did you visit?
The mystical country of 30. I've been USA-locked for a good long while now.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
From last year: But I'd like a little more mental/emotional stability from myself. I'd like to have some writing ability or at least some freedom from the fear of writing. Better funding would also always be nice. And goals. Those would be cool too.
I guess I feel the same? I think my brain has gotten a bit better, but there's still a lot to be done in terms of the fears that still haunt me and dog at my heels. Also my therapist thinks I should try to figure out what I want to do with my life, and I guess I'd like to have some idea of that too.
Right now, though, I really want motivation to get SO MUCH SEWING DONE. I have so many things I want to make, and so little drive. I really want that to get better in 2014.
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Mar. 1 - Made a cake from scratch for the first time.
Mar. 2 - My birthday, of note.
Mar. 12 - Fourth anniversary with infinityduck
Apr. something - I can't believe I forgot the date, but I got to meet JujuBee, my very favorite drag queen, in person. It was amazing.
Apr. 30 - Got a hilariously high fever out of nowhere and missed going to see "Iron Man 3" with people.
June 14 - Fell down some stairs in my parents' garden and broke my arm for the third time.
July something - PACIFIC RIM happened.
July 21-30 - New Mexico adventure and successful completion of vacation with parents and boyfriend in which all survived.
Aug. 9-11 - Went to Otakon with a sinus infection, but made $300 from my dolls.
Sept. something - ATTACK ON TITAN happened.
Oct. 31 - Dressed as "JOHN FREEMAN!!!!" for work. Was successfully recognized.
Nov. 22 - 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination. Sat in the car and ate fries listened to a Walter Cronkite remembrance of that day. Had been feeling illish prior to that; felt considerably better afterwards. God I love history.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not slamming my head directly into the concrete when I fell down the stairs was pretty epic and incredibly lucky, honestly. I could have been so much more badly hurt than I was.
9. What was your biggest failure?
From last year: I didn't write. I hid from writing. I did everything I could to avoid writing.
I didn't quite do everything, but I sure didn't really write much at all. I also didn't sew nearly as much as I could or should have.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I broke my left arm the best it's ever been and cut my right leg up pretty badly simultaneously. My leg is permanently scarred from how badly I scratched it, but my arm healed fine. It hurts sometimes when it's cold, though. That's new.
Still illness of the mind. Also I randomly got a high fever at the end of April, and was out for two days, and then got the aforementioned sinus infection over Otakon.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
TICKETS TO "PACIFIC RIM." (AND RELATED "PACIFIC RIM" MERCHANDISE)
THIS FUCKING SWEATSHIRT I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My parents. My friends, all my friends, for which I am so grateful and I feel more and more like I can't ever say it enough.
Chris, who hasn't yet killed me or made it necessary for me to kill him. :F
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Pretty much the entire US government. I think that about covers it.
14. Where did most of your money go?
From last year: Always the bills, always the groceries, so many books. So many books.
The more things change, the more they never actually change at all what am I even pretending.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
"PACFIC RIM."
ATTACK ON TITAN.
16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
Probably "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons, since it was everywhere, touching everything. Likely "Guren no Yumiya."
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Mercurial.
ii. thinner or fatter? Probably about the same, I think.
iii. richer or poorer? Potentially poorer. Ah, medical bills and poorly planned Xmas spending.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Writing. Not sleeping. Sewing. Probably exercising.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sleeping. Avoiding writing or sewing.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
This was one of our here-years, and I actually worked until 4 on Christmas Eve, then Chris and I had dinner with my parents and some friends, went to midnight mass at 9 pm, and then came home and fell asleep to the MST3K "Santa Claus." On the day, we had breakfast and presents with my parents, came home and poked at gifts and watched one of our MST3K streams, then went back for mealicious dinner at my house before returning home once more. Very standard, but very good.
22. Did you fall in love in 2013?
Actually, yes. I say "Pacific Rim" taught me how to love again, and I really mean it. I had honestly forgotten what it felt like to love a movie, a thing, for everything it was. It made me so happy. And I found a way to "Attack on Titan," which made me have feelings for an anime again, something I thought I was long past.
23. How many one-night stands?
I am not accountable for anything that happened while I was in Roswell.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
It's just gonna be "X-Files" forever, let's accept that. But I really loved "Elementary," and came to feel for MST3K on an even deeper level, and I'm pretty well fixated on "Life of Mammals." I'm still not quite over "Spartacus" being done; I keep thinking it'll be back.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Actually, no. I think I hate the same political figures and- wait, I do hate some customers. Especially that greasy guy who always wants to look in the porn case.
I'm a bit distressed by my boss, but I don't hate her yet.
26. What was the best book you read?
I barely remember them all, but "The Passage" was fucking extraordinary. It absolutely wrecked me. I had such a reaction to that book even now I'm kind of in awe of it.
I finally read "Bringing Out the Dead" and it not only held its own against the movie, but may have been better. It got me out of the post-"The Passage" funk I fell into.
To my surprise, I ended up reading "11/22/63" (on 11/22/13) and I really, really liked it. I've never considered myself particularly interested in Stephen King, but it opened up some new book doors for me.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
DESSA. I mean, I already knew Dessa as part of Doomtree, but I saw her in concert and her solo work is off the chain.
Thanks to tumblr, I found Bastille. I borrowed "Bad Blood" from work yesterday, it's really solid. I like it a lot.
I also learned how to rip songs from youtube. That was a pretty important musical discovery for an jerk pirate like me.
28. What did you want and get?
AN ALIEN!!!
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Surprisingly, "Iron Man 3," during which I finally made peace with Tony Stark, and I just thought it was a great movie.
But even more than that? "PACIFIC RIM." Seriously. Three times in the theater. I wish I could have gone more.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Because I turned 30 this year, I wanted to do something awesome. So the day before my actual birthday I spent the whole day cooking reasonably edible things from my vintage cookbook collection and a cake and had a 50s-themed party at my house with a whole bunch of my friends including Megan. It was everything I wanted. It was a room full of people I loved and I had a pretty dress. And on my actual birthday I cleaned up, hung out in my home, got birthday wishes from Rick Sloane, the director of "Hobgoblins," and was just generally pleased. I really love being 30, for whatever reason.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less fear of writing. Customers selling us better things.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
All long-sleeve shirts under t-shirts, all the time. Also "Can I wear my Titan hoodie with this? YES I CAN."
34. What kept you sane?
My friends online and offline. My family. My pigs. My faithful shower, which runs out of hot water too soon, but still provides me with soothing falling water sounds when I most need them.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Idris Elba, probably.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Wendy Davis' Texas abortion rights filibuster.
37. Who did you miss?
From last year: Everyone who isn't here, people I need to reconnect with but am scared to talk to, people who are close but seem so far.
And on a sappy note, I miss the kid who would write whatever whenever without fear. I'd like to meet her again.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I finally met Nechama and her Kat and Kim in person, and I made one friend over tumblr but she lives in Australia so chatting was hard and now I haven't talked to her in like 2 months, friends on tumblr are really hard! ;_;
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:
Sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes what you think is over is really just re-evolving into something new. Don't give up, and if you give up, start again tomorrow.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
But I've learned how to paint my face,
How to earn my keep
How to clean my kill.
Some nights I still can't sleep,
The past rolls back, I can see us still.
You've learned how to hold your own,
How to stack your stones,
But the history's thick.
Children aren't as simple,
As we'd like to think.
But you came to, and took my hand,and held my eyes and...
Me and you, had a long walk home, so we decided not to cry.
Happy New Year. May it be a good year for us, and all of us.
Hi LJ.
I appreciated the comments on my last post! I just wanted to say that! LJ will always be a place where I was actually capable of meeting people and making friends, something I find sorely lacking in other places >.>.
Anyway. It's a new year, and that means I must complete my traditional year-end meme, even though my LJ presence has been horrifically lacking. I am not altogether gone! Also I know my mom still checks. Hi mom.
1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
I went to New Mexico for the first time! I also fell down a staircase I'd previously been climbing and descending successfully for about 27 years.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
You know what. The flossing thing never works. I give up. I did make a Rosh Hashanah resolution, though, to talk to my cousin Terry, and I kept that, so that must count for osmething.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My ex-boyfriend's wife had her baby, and said baby got very sick and I sent them an email but I never heard back. Baby's okay, I expect I shall never meet her, as we are, as ever, not at all close.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Miraculously no.
5. What countries did you visit?
The mystical country of 30. I've been USA-locked for a good long while now.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
From last year: But I'd like a little more mental/emotional stability from myself. I'd like to have some writing ability or at least some freedom from the fear of writing. Better funding would also always be nice. And goals. Those would be cool too.
I guess I feel the same? I think my brain has gotten a bit better, but there's still a lot to be done in terms of the fears that still haunt me and dog at my heels. Also my therapist thinks I should try to figure out what I want to do with my life, and I guess I'd like to have some idea of that too.
Right now, though, I really want motivation to get SO MUCH SEWING DONE. I have so many things I want to make, and so little drive. I really want that to get better in 2014.
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Mar. 1 - Made a cake from scratch for the first time.
Mar. 2 - My birthday, of note.
Mar. 12 - Fourth anniversary with infinityduck
Apr. something - I can't believe I forgot the date, but I got to meet JujuBee, my very favorite drag queen, in person. It was amazing.
Apr. 30 - Got a hilariously high fever out of nowhere and missed going to see "Iron Man 3" with people.
June 14 - Fell down some stairs in my parents' garden and broke my arm for the third time.
July something - PACIFIC RIM happened.
July 21-30 - New Mexico adventure and successful completion of vacation with parents and boyfriend in which all survived.
Aug. 9-11 - Went to Otakon with a sinus infection, but made $300 from my dolls.
Sept. something - ATTACK ON TITAN happened.
Oct. 31 - Dressed as "JOHN FREEMAN!!!!" for work. Was successfully recognized.
Nov. 22 - 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination. Sat in the car and ate fries listened to a Walter Cronkite remembrance of that day. Had been feeling illish prior to that; felt considerably better afterwards. God I love history.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not slamming my head directly into the concrete when I fell down the stairs was pretty epic and incredibly lucky, honestly. I could have been so much more badly hurt than I was.
9. What was your biggest failure?
From last year: I didn't write. I hid from writing. I did everything I could to avoid writing.
I didn't quite do everything, but I sure didn't really write much at all. I also didn't sew nearly as much as I could or should have.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I broke my left arm the best it's ever been and cut my right leg up pretty badly simultaneously. My leg is permanently scarred from how badly I scratched it, but my arm healed fine. It hurts sometimes when it's cold, though. That's new.
Still illness of the mind. Also I randomly got a high fever at the end of April, and was out for two days, and then got the aforementioned sinus infection over Otakon.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
TICKETS TO "PACIFIC RIM." (AND RELATED "PACIFIC RIM" MERCHANDISE)
THIS FUCKING SWEATSHIRT I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My parents. My friends, all my friends, for which I am so grateful and I feel more and more like I can't ever say it enough.
Chris, who hasn't yet killed me or made it necessary for me to kill him. :F
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Pretty much the entire US government. I think that about covers it.
14. Where did most of your money go?
From last year: Always the bills, always the groceries, so many books. So many books.
The more things change, the more they never actually change at all what am I even pretending.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
"PACFIC RIM."
ATTACK ON TITAN.
16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
Probably "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons, since it was everywhere, touching everything. Likely "Guren no Yumiya."
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Mercurial.
ii. thinner or fatter? Probably about the same, I think.
iii. richer or poorer? Potentially poorer. Ah, medical bills and poorly planned Xmas spending.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Writing. Not sleeping. Sewing. Probably exercising.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sleeping. Avoiding writing or sewing.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
This was one of our here-years, and I actually worked until 4 on Christmas Eve, then Chris and I had dinner with my parents and some friends, went to midnight mass at 9 pm, and then came home and fell asleep to the MST3K "Santa Claus." On the day, we had breakfast and presents with my parents, came home and poked at gifts and watched one of our MST3K streams, then went back for mealicious dinner at my house before returning home once more. Very standard, but very good.
22. Did you fall in love in 2013?
Actually, yes. I say "Pacific Rim" taught me how to love again, and I really mean it. I had honestly forgotten what it felt like to love a movie, a thing, for everything it was. It made me so happy. And I found a way to "Attack on Titan," which made me have feelings for an anime again, something I thought I was long past.
23. How many one-night stands?
I am not accountable for anything that happened while I was in Roswell.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
It's just gonna be "X-Files" forever, let's accept that. But I really loved "Elementary," and came to feel for MST3K on an even deeper level, and I'm pretty well fixated on "Life of Mammals." I'm still not quite over "Spartacus" being done; I keep thinking it'll be back.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Actually, no. I think I hate the same political figures and- wait, I do hate some customers. Especially that greasy guy who always wants to look in the porn case.
I'm a bit distressed by my boss, but I don't hate her yet.
26. What was the best book you read?
I barely remember them all, but "The Passage" was fucking extraordinary. It absolutely wrecked me. I had such a reaction to that book even now I'm kind of in awe of it.
I finally read "Bringing Out the Dead" and it not only held its own against the movie, but may have been better. It got me out of the post-"The Passage" funk I fell into.
To my surprise, I ended up reading "11/22/63" (on 11/22/13) and I really, really liked it. I've never considered myself particularly interested in Stephen King, but it opened up some new book doors for me.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
DESSA. I mean, I already knew Dessa as part of Doomtree, but I saw her in concert and her solo work is off the chain.
Thanks to tumblr, I found Bastille. I borrowed "Bad Blood" from work yesterday, it's really solid. I like it a lot.
I also learned how to rip songs from youtube. That was a pretty important musical discovery for an jerk pirate like me.
28. What did you want and get?
AN ALIEN!!!
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Surprisingly, "Iron Man 3," during which I finally made peace with Tony Stark, and I just thought it was a great movie.
But even more than that? "PACIFIC RIM." Seriously. Three times in the theater. I wish I could have gone more.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Because I turned 30 this year, I wanted to do something awesome. So the day before my actual birthday I spent the whole day cooking reasonably edible things from my vintage cookbook collection and a cake and had a 50s-themed party at my house with a whole bunch of my friends including Megan. It was everything I wanted. It was a room full of people I loved and I had a pretty dress. And on my actual birthday I cleaned up, hung out in my home, got birthday wishes from Rick Sloane, the director of "Hobgoblins," and was just generally pleased. I really love being 30, for whatever reason.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less fear of writing. Customers selling us better things.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
All long-sleeve shirts under t-shirts, all the time. Also "Can I wear my Titan hoodie with this? YES I CAN."
34. What kept you sane?
My friends online and offline. My family. My pigs. My faithful shower, which runs out of hot water too soon, but still provides me with soothing falling water sounds when I most need them.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Idris Elba, probably.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Wendy Davis' Texas abortion rights filibuster.
37. Who did you miss?
From last year: Everyone who isn't here, people I need to reconnect with but am scared to talk to, people who are close but seem so far.
And on a sappy note, I miss the kid who would write whatever whenever without fear. I'd like to meet her again.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I finally met Nechama and her Kat and Kim in person, and I made one friend over tumblr but she lives in Australia so chatting was hard and now I haven't talked to her in like 2 months, friends on tumblr are really hard! ;_;
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:
Sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes what you think is over is really just re-evolving into something new. Don't give up, and if you give up, start again tomorrow.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
But I've learned how to paint my face,
How to earn my keep
How to clean my kill.
Some nights I still can't sleep,
The past rolls back, I can see us still.
You've learned how to hold your own,
How to stack your stones,
But the history's thick.
Children aren't as simple,
As we'd like to think.
But you came to, and took my hand,and held my eyes and...
Me and you, had a long walk home, so we decided not to cry.
Happy New Year. May it be a good year for us, and all of us.