But I sleepwalk back to the battle site
Tonight at work I spent a long time being irritable at train magazines. It's a special kind of irritation that can only be brought on by a giant box of model magazines that I have to make into reasonable bundles and when they told me I'd be working on it tonight, my first reaction was "oh god, what did I do?"
The other night my boss suggested I apply for a shift leader/inventory manager job, apparently because I'm "so awesome and would be really awesome at it." But I don't really want to be closer to her crazy than I am already, because that's what destroyed my world at Four Star, not to mention I don't necessarily want the responsibility of being a shift leader. I'm concerned, however, that she'll get upset if I don't apply. I dunno. Blargh.
Anyway, hi.
I've started getting ready for Otakon. As some may recall (read: no one) the last time, I went to Otakon, this was my plan:
Not all that ambitious, and in the end I only finished two of those pieces, and just one of them sold.
But, not being one to learn from history, I have foregone internet and reading and spent almost all my free time the past week working on this:
O hai living room floor, you seem to have pieces of an entire bridge crew there. With four of each person, except Chekov because I kind of forgot about him until the last minute and Scotty is missing his hair bits because I don't know what color to make his hair - I've seen people do it a kind of Simon Pegg-y strawberry blond? But is brown better? Who knows. Yeah uh. So that's just the Star Trek part. I haven't even started the Avengers or Teen Wolf parts. My hand already hurts and cutting out those pieces alone took more hours than I want to think about. In conclusion, my ideas are good? Who knows.
-Speaking of Star Trek,
I saw STID "opening day." I guess since the movie had been out for nearly 24 hours at that point the thrill had worn off, because there were maybe like 20 people in the theater.
I was disappointed.
Mostly I was disappointed because no less than 5 people had said to me some iteration of "you're going to love Sulu in the movie." Which I interpreted as a sign that Sulu actually had something to do, and when that turned out not to be the case, when he had 30 seconds of talking and then spent the rest of the movie sitting down, I was super bummed. That was my fault, though, I read things wrong. I had tried not to go in with any expectations, but I ended up having some, and so it was.
I've seen it again since then, though. I liked it better the second time around. I don't really know what I can even add to the conversation at this point. There was absolutely no reason for Cucumber Chamberpot to be Khan; he made a good enough villain as a rogue agent from Section 31. I would have liked that just fine. The lack of pre-experience with Khan makes his existence as that character utterly meaningless on top of the whole race issue. I really liked the USS Vengeance, but with a name like that and the sound of angry robot bees that it made when it caught up to the Enterprise mid-warp, of course I would.
It wasn't the movie I'd been waiting years to see. I'm sincerely hoping that for the next one they have a new director and especially new writers. I'm still a bit hopeful for that.
What the movie did do is rekindle a lot of Kirk/Sulu feelings, even though going back and looking through some of my fandom works/times/conversations from just 2 years ago makes me realize that I romanticized my relationship to the ST fandom/my ability to "do" fandom (write, create, not feel bummed, etc) because I've been so unhappy with the Avengers. I was, however, hopefully, I think, maybe, able to see that I've grown up a bit since then, although it makes it difficult to go back to where I left Jim and Sulu in my "universe." I think I want them to have grown up too. I don't know if that's possible, or if I have to start over again, which seems so hard. I don't know. I'm still largely staying away from fandom but I've been reading some of my favorite Kirk/Sulu fics again. They feel pretty all right.
I guess I'll do that annoying bullet point thing again now:
-RED WEDDING. I liked it. I understand that there's a lot in "Game of THrones" that makes people unhappy/hits triggers and squicks, but it manages to hit none of my squicks whatsoever, and remains something that, in dark fandom time, made me feel safe, and still makes me happy.
-I've been watching "Elementary." I've been watching a lot of "Elementary." Actually when I ran out I just started over again. I will very likely be buying it when it comes out.
-I drove feels_like_fire to O'hare the other week, partly out of the goodness out of my heart, and partly to go to Mitsuwa. I'm going to retrieve her tomorrow and stop there again, where I will paid inordinate amounts of money for bottled tea, mushikeeki, and jagariko, three of my favorite things in this world.
-I spent money on music for once, and downloaded Dessa's "A Badly Broken Code" from itunes. It's fantastic. It's so good. I'm so happy with it. I highly recommend her to anyone always. Here's the first song off the album, you know, if you want.
-Chris got me a "Pepsi Throwback" with real sugar last night, and suddenly I could taste the difference between real sugar and corn syrup. Shit son. If there was any way to get real sugar Pepsi in fountain soda form I might just cry tears of pure diamond joy.
-Actually I've been reading a book about the diamond industry at work. It's called "Diamond: The History of a Cold Blooded Love Affair." It's okay. It was published in 2001, though, so I can't help but wonder what the past decade has added to the story.
-I've started seeing a new therapist. It was strange today because I felt good, so I was almost like "do I need to do this?" Yes, Amber, you need to do this.
-My dad will be 65 tomorrow, happy birthday dad!
All right. My scissor-wielding hand is feeling a little funky, so I guess I should give it a break. No more train magazine for at least 36 hours. Yessss.
The other night my boss suggested I apply for a shift leader/inventory manager job, apparently because I'm "so awesome and would be really awesome at it." But I don't really want to be closer to her crazy than I am already, because that's what destroyed my world at Four Star, not to mention I don't necessarily want the responsibility of being a shift leader. I'm concerned, however, that she'll get upset if I don't apply. I dunno. Blargh.
Anyway, hi.
I've started getting ready for Otakon. As some may recall (read: no one) the last time, I went to Otakon, this was my plan:
Not all that ambitious, and in the end I only finished two of those pieces, and just one of them sold.
But, not being one to learn from history, I have foregone internet and reading and spent almost all my free time the past week working on this:
O hai living room floor, you seem to have pieces of an entire bridge crew there. With four of each person, except Chekov because I kind of forgot about him until the last minute and Scotty is missing his hair bits because I don't know what color to make his hair - I've seen people do it a kind of Simon Pegg-y strawberry blond? But is brown better? Who knows. Yeah uh. So that's just the Star Trek part. I haven't even started the Avengers or Teen Wolf parts. My hand already hurts and cutting out those pieces alone took more hours than I want to think about. In conclusion, my ideas are good? Who knows.
-Speaking of Star Trek,
I saw STID "opening day." I guess since the movie had been out for nearly 24 hours at that point the thrill had worn off, because there were maybe like 20 people in the theater.
I was disappointed.
Mostly I was disappointed because no less than 5 people had said to me some iteration of "you're going to love Sulu in the movie." Which I interpreted as a sign that Sulu actually had something to do, and when that turned out not to be the case, when he had 30 seconds of talking and then spent the rest of the movie sitting down, I was super bummed. That was my fault, though, I read things wrong. I had tried not to go in with any expectations, but I ended up having some, and so it was.
I've seen it again since then, though. I liked it better the second time around. I don't really know what I can even add to the conversation at this point. There was absolutely no reason for Cucumber Chamberpot to be Khan; he made a good enough villain as a rogue agent from Section 31. I would have liked that just fine. The lack of pre-experience with Khan makes his existence as that character utterly meaningless on top of the whole race issue. I really liked the USS Vengeance, but with a name like that and the sound of angry robot bees that it made when it caught up to the Enterprise mid-warp, of course I would.
It wasn't the movie I'd been waiting years to see. I'm sincerely hoping that for the next one they have a new director and especially new writers. I'm still a bit hopeful for that.
What the movie did do is rekindle a lot of Kirk/Sulu feelings, even though going back and looking through some of my fandom works/times/conversations from just 2 years ago makes me realize that I romanticized my relationship to the ST fandom/my ability to "do" fandom (write, create, not feel bummed, etc) because I've been so unhappy with the Avengers. I was, however, hopefully, I think, maybe, able to see that I've grown up a bit since then, although it makes it difficult to go back to where I left Jim and Sulu in my "universe." I think I want them to have grown up too. I don't know if that's possible, or if I have to start over again, which seems so hard. I don't know. I'm still largely staying away from fandom but I've been reading some of my favorite Kirk/Sulu fics again. They feel pretty all right.
I guess I'll do that annoying bullet point thing again now:
-RED WEDDING. I liked it. I understand that there's a lot in "Game of THrones" that makes people unhappy/hits triggers and squicks, but it manages to hit none of my squicks whatsoever, and remains something that, in dark fandom time, made me feel safe, and still makes me happy.
-I've been watching "Elementary." I've been watching a lot of "Elementary." Actually when I ran out I just started over again. I will very likely be buying it when it comes out.
-I drove feels_like_fire to O'hare the other week, partly out of the goodness out of my heart, and partly to go to Mitsuwa. I'm going to retrieve her tomorrow and stop there again, where I will paid inordinate amounts of money for bottled tea, mushikeeki, and jagariko, three of my favorite things in this world.
-I spent money on music for once, and downloaded Dessa's "A Badly Broken Code" from itunes. It's fantastic. It's so good. I'm so happy with it. I highly recommend her to anyone always. Here's the first song off the album, you know, if you want.
-Chris got me a "Pepsi Throwback" with real sugar last night, and suddenly I could taste the difference between real sugar and corn syrup. Shit son. If there was any way to get real sugar Pepsi in fountain soda form I might just cry tears of pure diamond joy.
-Actually I've been reading a book about the diamond industry at work. It's called "Diamond: The History of a Cold Blooded Love Affair." It's okay. It was published in 2001, though, so I can't help but wonder what the past decade has added to the story.
-I've started seeing a new therapist. It was strange today because I felt good, so I was almost like "do I need to do this?" Yes, Amber, you need to do this.
-My dad will be 65 tomorrow, happy birthday dad!
All right. My scissor-wielding hand is feeling a little funky, so I guess I should give it a break. No more train magazine for at least 36 hours. Yessss.