A King and Commoners Life (9/?)
Title: A King and Commoners Life (9/?)
Genre: Angst, Romance, Historic
Rating: R (for some chapters)
Warnings: Rape/Violence
Summary: Jonghyun is de crown prince of the ancient Goryeo. Kibum is a mere citizen, accused of one of the most detested things possible and made sure to pay for it with his life.
But then Jonghyun decided to ditch the rules, to go against the king and saves Kibum from the fate that was thrown at him.
The night had ended awkward and silent.
Kibum kept shedding tears of shame because Jonghyun hadn’t spoken a word after telling the younger he could stay.
The prince received weird and almost worrisome glances from his dressers that helped him out of his daily clothes into his night garment. The prince was pale and was just in time to wipe away the non-dried tears on his cheeks. Kibum had fled into his own dusty room times before, not able to look at the prince in this state, leaving Jonghyun confused and afraid.
The woman surrounding him were undoing the many knots that held his garment together, saying nothing and bowing their heads low to show obedience
When he was only in his white undergarment he closed his eyes, hands slowly transforming into fists.
“Leave.” He whispers so soft that he only saw some of the maids stir, but continuing their job. “I said leave!” This time he was louder, gaining the attention of the woman that froze their actions.
“But my prince, you-”
“Leave!”
The woman around him cringed when he shrugged his arms loose from the hands that were still trying to get the soft fabric off his body. He didn’t gave them a spare look as he walked out of his room, storming into Kibum’s one and wanting to break down again. But he had the right mind to not run to the lying boy instantly, he stayed at the door, holding it closed with his trembling hands so no one could enter the room and see the young boy.
He opened the door again after a little while, seeing that the room was left empty. He sighed as he shoved the door close again, walking towards the younger boy that was lying on the bed, covered by pink silk, embroidered with cherry blossom leaves falling down upon him.
The prince fell on his knees before him, the loose fabrics draping gracefully at his sides.
Tears shimmered in his eyes again as he looked at the sleeping boy. A boy who was not a body with an empty soul like the first time. He had learnt that this boy was funny, smart and overall: brave.
Jonghyun knew that the palace wasn’t safe anymore, and the sleeping one knew too. After Jonghyun had told him, he was sure that he knew the consequences of staying.
And yet, he stayed.
His arms couldn’t support him anymore, so he bowed down. He hoped the younger was in a deep sleep, because he didn’t want to be seen like this. He didn’t want to let him see how vulnerable he was at this moment. He just wanted to tell him he didn’t hate him for his feelings, or that he was offended. He could stay because Jonghyun didn’t want to lose his best friend.
After he found the little pieces of himself again, re-colliding to someone that could sit up and let his tears be washed away by the peace he could find in himself that for now, he could do nothing, but wait.
Wait for the unknown.
“I’m sorry for bringing you here.” He whispered softly when he crawled upwards again, sitting on his knees and gaze locked on the sleeping form of the younger man. “I could have ordered him to bring you outside of the gates instead of dumping you at the animal shelter. I could have let you make your own decisions of how you wanted to live. I’m sorry for being so selfish, I guess I only wanted to play a hero. I only wanted to show myself that I can handle saving my people.” His pleading was nothing more than a whisper, but he needed to tell him, even when he was not listening.
Kibum laid perfectly still. The only thing moving was his chest, making the blanket rise and fall down in a secure rhythm.
Jonghyun saw that he probably had fallen asleep crying, seeing the slight damp and reddened skin of his cheeks. His now grown hair lied sprawled around his head, making the prince think about trying to bind it in a knot or at least a tail, because it had finally gown enough to do so.
Jonghyun couldn’t stop staring at his face.
He found rest in rediscovering the features he witnessed every day of the past weeks. And for the first time he saw how long his lashes actually were, or how sharp his jawline was. It were things he never really paid attention to. He came to the conclusion that Kibum was a fine young man who could be even called pretty.
And then he felt the fluttering of his heart.
And he denied that he ever felt anything.
“So am I clear that since I am told about the happenings in the country, there were four assassin attacks, trying to swipe away the royal family?” The prince asked frustrated, his thumb and index furiously rubbing his temples after the hour long meeting. He was enraged by how his officers tried to avoid every topic about the state of the country that involved Yuan or the attacks on the palace.
“Yes, my prince.” A man said in shame after finally telling the truths.
“You know, I gathered all of you for this meeting without my father’s knowledge. I don’t understand why me, the crown prince, is being left out in all the matters. If some assassin were to break into the palace, and our well trained soldiers are too late to stop them before reaching my father, I officially take the place of king. If I am still as clueless about the matters by then, the country is doomed to fall. Especially since you, my dear officers, think about nothing more than your own wellbeing. That makes me think about one thing a dear friend told me.” Jonghyun sighed at the statement he was going to make. “What if I am noting more than a pawn in a play you are all setting? What if you planned this all out? What if the assassins are not from Yuan, but from our own Goryeo? What if the king is doomed to die and a new, clueless, king is easy to replace. Am I right ministers?”
Shocked and opposing voices filled the room, and screening some of the most shocked faces, he knew that he was right.
Kibum and he hadn’t talked much after that specific day. It all had been awkward and silent. But when Jonghyun was lying in his bed, trying to find his sleep desperately, Kibum had entered his room, silent as a ghost. He asked if the prince was awake, and started to whisper his thoughts. Jonghyun had never dared to imagine how long Kibum had been thinking about the matters he had told him before his confession. But Kibum had stood there, trying to explain his thoughts about why no one was telling him anything, and how Taemin’s stories added up by the ones Jonghyun had told him.
And when he had left the room without saying goodnight, Jonghyun knew that the younger could be right.
The first thing in the morning, he had called Minho into his room, telling him the things ‘he’ had thought about. The young officer’s eyes immediately grew, and made sure that his teacher Lee Jinki also got called into his room after he was well dressed, discussing the matter again and again.
The following days, his servants were busy with finding out facts and tried to validate the idea.
A lot of the things he found out were also the things the officers told him after hours of fishing and talking nonsenses.
“You are all excused.” The prince told the now screaming mass of magistrates.
The screaming hurdle calmed down after the order. It didn’t took them long to leave the room, all probably getting together somewhere else to discuss their own opinions, and how they were going to fix this.
Because Jonghyun was sure, after seeing their looks, Kibum was right. There was a plan to eliminate him and his family.
“And did you see?” he asked Minho, who had stepped closer to stand beside him.
“It wouldn’t surprise you, but Officer Kwang Dae.” Minho almost told it playfully. And Jonghyun snickered.
“It doesn’t surprises me in the slightest.”
“Furthermore, Officer Il Sung, Hyun Su and Suk Chul. Those were to most obvious.” The prince saw his teacher nod in agreement as he spoke the names.
“There were a few more I highly suspect.” He added. “We will investigate it, and you will hear our report soon.”
The prince nodded, happy that they finally could do something. Of course this wasn’t going to prevent a war, but this was cleaning the palace from the inside out, maintaining their royal role for a bit longer.
The moment Minho wanted to say something more, the door of the room got opened from the outside by two maids, showing his mother in a beautiful dress and golden decorated hair. There was a slight smile on her face and her eyes seemed to possess a hidden spark.
“I found the perfect candidates.” She said proud as she walked closer to the chair Jonghyun was sitting in.
“I should’ve held the magistrates longer in my presence.” He sighed, looking desperately at Minho as his mother came closer with excited, short, steps
“Head up, my prince. I can’t be worse than keeping you alive.” ‘Minho snickered.
“Yah!” Jonghyun said agitated as Minho set a step back, and bowed respectfully towards the elderly woman.
“Is there something wrong, my prince?” the queen asked in slight amusement when her gaze fell onto the soldier beside him.
“Nothing since you entered the room, my queen.” Jonghyun tried to smile. He knew that behind him the young life guard was trying to hold in to roll his eyes in the presence of the queen, but still the prince heard the escapement of a chuckle.
Scholar Lee carried one of the chairs onto the platform, bowing deep when the queen sat down opposite her son, lacing her hands together on the golden silk of her lap.
“We found some great candidates.” She repeated smiling, her eyes shimmering in the bright sunlight that shone into the room from a high gap in the ceiling.
“So I heard.” Jonghyun smiled kindly, remembering her bold entrance without announcement.
He shifted a bit in his chair, trying to sit better to listen to the news that was going to be said. He really wasn’t ready for thinking about it now, he was busy enough with trying to solve problems his father didn’t want to think about.
“I know these people are your most trusted man, so I won’t send them away while telling my ideas. Maybe they can even help you think about it, or teach you some informative things about creating an heir.” Jonghyun almost suffocated in his own salvia to the amusement of his mother. The playful glint in her eyes told him she was just making fun of him. More serious she looked down at him now.
There was a short silence where Jonghyun tried to compose himself again, couching softly and sitting just a bit straighter to show there was nothing wrong in the first place.
“Tell me about your ideas, my queen.” He said, thinking that this better could just be over.
“A high born Yuan girl, just like me.” She all but whispered.
Jonghyun’s eyes grew in size. She couldn’t be serious.
Yuan was their enemy, they were the ones that were trying to invade their borders. Their men were dying there because of the nation’s serious quarreling. And here the queen sat, all proud about her idea to marry a highborn Yuan girl. It was trying to let a devil marry an angel.
“Mother! Haven’t you heard about the assassins in the palace? Or the news that we’re in some kind of war with them?” The prince asked dismayed.
“Watch your tone.” She said with a firm voice, the excitement slowly drifting away from her eyes. “I know it sounds like a terrible idea. But I found a perfect candidate. She’s an adulterate child from the emperor. No real princesses, but still related and a far heir of the Yuan empire.” She explained. “I spoke to many people about it, and already negotiated with the spokesman of the emperor. If you marry her, the war will end. They want our country to be theirs, by force or not. With a future Yuan queen that can act as a puppet, they will allow us to keep our name and country.” She sighed, seemingly tired.
“But, you’re from Yuan. Why aren’t they using you?” Jonghyun asked, his tone containing a taint of desperateness. He didn’t want to marry a girl he didn’t know, he didn’t want a wife that got the horrible task of binding their countries, being nothing more than a way to influence them from the outside boundaries.
“I’m not a Yuan princess, Jonghyun. When I married your father, I broke all the contacts that I had with my country, I wanted to be the perfect Goryeo wife for him and the country.” A small smile showed on her lips. “This girl will be good, she is trained to be a perfect queen, she’s well educated and they assured me she is able to produce heirs for our throne.”
The prince sighed, and nodded.
“I guess it’s decided then.” He said without much entertainment.
His mother’s eye-twinkle returned. She extended her hand to grab the cold and lifeless one of her son, pulling it closer over the table so her other hand could warm the palm of his.
“Don’t look so powerless. She will be perfect for you. I know you’re lonely, everyone in a castle living the life you have is, I can know that. She can be your light of the day, she can warm you up with tea and hugs, and she can love you for who you are if you work hard enough. She can make this life worth living.” His mother’s tone was barley louder than a whisper, trying to conjure all the positive thoughts of having a loving wife in his mind, to make him excited.
But strangely enough, he didn’t feel like he needed a woman in his life. All he wanted, was already in his possession. He had someone that gave him hugs or poured tea. There was already a person that light up his day and made him feel welcomed. There was a person that loved him for who he really was. And overall, this person made his life worth living.
Since this person came into his life it wasn’t as dull as it was before. Since Kibum was there, he didn’t need something else. He wanted to lock himself up in his room forever if that was possible. Just to enjoy the bright smile the younger provided him, and the warm feeling he got when he knew a pair of deep brown orbs were looking at him. He never even realized that that look was full of care and loving feelings, and that he really was missed as he was a whole day out of his chambers trying to learn how to be a great and mighty king.
And then, he understood what Kibum’s confession had meant.
Kibum loved him in the way his future Yuan wife should.
Kibum didn’t want his title or wealth.
Kibum wanted him for who he was.
“My prince, it will all be alright.” The queen whispered. “Don’t cry.”
At those words he looked up, startled when he felt wetness on the tips of his fingers as he brushed the skin of his cheeks.
He snickered.
In the end, all he wanted was Kibum to never leave his side.
After all, Jonghyun never seemed to have a saying in the choosing of his wife.
When he had asked when he was going to meet her, his mother had announced that she was already on her way to the palace.
In two weeks, he was going to meet this unknown girl, the girl he was spending the rest of his coming years with.
“My prince, do you find it that hard to get married?” Minho asked as he opened the door to his room, making him halt to enter.
The guard looked at him with honest concern, eyes a bit bigger than normal, and his mouth shut in a straight line.
With a tired expression Jonghyun shook his head. “It’s just that I don’t see myself together with someone. And I’m afraid I will never be able to love her.” He made up. “It is a bit hard on me to know that I really have no saying in the conduction of my own life. But thank you for worrying.” He said quiet, entering the room after all.
The door got closed with a soft thud, making him take in the silence of his own chamber.
Jonghyun didn’t expect Kibum to walk to him with a bright smile on his face and cheeks slightly reddened since their last encounters were mostly quiet and awkward ones.
“Come with me.” He said, voice a bit higher than the prince was normally used to from the younger.
When Jonghyun made no movement, Kibum walked closer to him and grabbed his dangling hand from his side, tugging him after him.
He smiled when Kibum had to make extra effort since the prince decided to stay rooted on the spot. His eyebrows scrunched together, and mouth slightly pouting. It was cute.
“What do you have?” He asked when he wasn’t able to hold his surly attitude for much longer.
“It’s a surprise.” He said, pouting. “But you have to walk with me to see it.”
The prince was convinced and let himself be pulled away from the spot at the door, following Kibum to his own room. Jonghyun didn’t expect a table full of delicious looking dishes, the bright colors of healthy vegetables screaming at him to be eaten.
“What is this?” he asked more excited as he got pulled to the sating red cushion that was seated before the table. Without answer, the younger started to push on his shoulder to sign that he should sit down. Chuckling, Jonghyun obeyed. He let his knees bend and sat with crossed legs on the floor, taking in the different aromas that teased his nostrils.
“I feel horrible that it got so awkward between us. I prepared this meal to clear everything that is on our minds and be the same as before.” He smiled, taking the chopsticks from the ceramic holder to give to Jonghyun.
“You prepared this?” he asked astonished as he looked at all the different little bowls. It should’ve taken hours to prepare a meal like this.
“Taemin helped me since I have no access to the kitchens. But he told me about the meeting you were going to have, and that you actually considered my thought. It is really nice of you to think that I’m not just a stupid farmer, but that I can be right even! Also, I love cooking, and since I’m here I haven’t really done it, it felt like a good way to repay you. I thi-.”
Jonghyun looked into a pair of scarred brown orbs as he had reached forward to grab his arm, pulling him a tad closer to bring him out of his rambling thoughts since calling him out didn’t work the past two times.
“You’re rambling. What’s going on?” he asked concerned. He never witnessed a Kibum as open and energetic like this before.
“Nothing. Just eat your meal.” He said flustered, looking down and trying to pull his arm out of the tight grip of Jonghyun’s hand. The prince saw rare unstableness taking over the short-haired gestures, seeing him trembling and swallowing thickly as Jonghyun didn’t let go of him. His head turned back to the prince, his lip was caught between his plush lips. “You’re hurting me.” He whispered as he gave up his attempts of breaking free.
“Sorry.” He said as he quickly released the younger’s arm, laying his own hand back into his lap, not sure if he should look at Kibum again. The view he just saw wasn’t one he wanted to see more often. It literally broke his heart into pieces.
Jonghyun took a second, more thoughtful, look on the dishes before him. Everything was so nice put together. The eggs weren’t unthoughtfully thrown into a cup like normal, they were neatly rolled up. The bowls containing rice were never more perfectly filled than now. Kibum put his feelings into the displaying of the food.
“You didn’t make this to just take the awkwardness away, am I right?” he asked after a short silence where he analyzed the foods even more.
“No.” was his short statement.
“May I ask what it is then? No lying please.” He asked him. He tried to sound as thoughtful as possible, he really wanted to know why the younger put so much effort in plain food that was going to be consumed anyway.
A soft mumbling came from his side, making Jonghyun laugh in the slightest. Kibum had his mouth covered with the back of his hand, he looked the opposite way from Jonghyun, wobbling on his knees.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He chuckled. He found the view nothing less than adorable as Kibum tried to speak his thoughts out for a second time.
A loud sigh was heard as Kibum turned face-to-face with Jonghyun, eyes finding new strength and finding confidence in sitting as straight as possible.
“I heard they found you a wife, and that you will soon marry her.” He said in a voice that was louder than the one he normally spoke in.
After his statement it seemed like he lost all his newfound power. His posture looked like he was inflating, his face sad and he moved his head away from Jonghyun.
“Taemin doesn’t know when he should shut up, right?” he tried to lighten the mood, but it did everything but work.
Jonghyun sighed, laying the chopsticks back on the ceramic stone so he could extent both arms to Kibum, shuffling on his knees to be closer at the younger before embracing him awkwardly.
“I probably hate it as much as you do.” He mumbled, feeling how the hair of his neck tickled his nose as he tried to move his face a little to snuggle closer to the comforting smell.
“You have no idea how much I hate it.” a tiny voice spoke. “You really don’t.”
“Maybe I do.” Jonghyun confessed. “What do I need a woman for? …I have the perfect wife in my arms.”
He heard Kibum gasp for air, stirring and trembling more than ever.
“Don’t say such things. You know- ”
Jonghyun interrupted him. He didn’t want him to be clueless anymore. He didn’t want himself to lie anymore. He knew that if he opened his heart a little more, there would be so much more to feel than he allowed himself to.
“I know what you feel. I know it, but I never dare myself to feel that way.” He mumbled against the softness of the hot skin beneath him. “Maybe there is a reason why I never wanted a concubine enter my room. Maybe there was a reason why I wanted to save you, maybe I was just so interested in you because you dared to be different. But I never suspected I would find a friend in you, someone I could trust and tell everything to that is on my heart.” Jonghyun started to stutter, to search for air. It wasn’t what he wanted to tell the younger. He didn’t want to confess that maybe, just maybe, he was feeling the same. He never wanted to think that there were more reasons behind the feeling that he couldn’t live without the younger anymore. It was his heart speaking for once, his rational mind long forgotten.
“Maybe… I know exactly what you feel.” This time he was crying. Big ugly tears streaming over his high cheekbones. He tried to pull himself closer to Kibum, trying to take away all the air that still separated their bodies.
And it felt almost good to feel the long nails of the younger pressing through the fabric on his back, that he clenched himself so tight to Jonghyun that he was afraid it would get impossible to breathe. He felt the younger shushing him with his own stammering voice. He was trying to tell him that it wasn’t bad what he was feeling, or that he shouldn’t be ashamed. Kibum wanted to let him know that he was normal, and that he would be safe in the fragile arms of the taller boy.
“It is all good.” He whispered.
“I’m sorry to complicate things even more.” He mumbled, his eyes still thick and puffed from the crying.
They lied on the ground, on their sides, facing each other, making the table with food long forgotten.
Jonghyun was surprised with how light he felt. It was like nothing mattered anymore, only the soft heavy breathing from the other was important enough to pay attention to.
For the first time, Jonghyun felt like a free man.
“You didn’t.” Kibum whispered, his own cheeks red and eyes as swollen.
“I did.” He whispered back. “I can never act on it. I am going to marry soon enough. I just can’t. I complicated it by telling you what I can never receive.”
“We don’t have to act on it.” he said soft. His were eyes glowing with a sudden calmness. He really meant the words he was saying. “I’m content enough by knowing. I only fear for you and your future. Will you ever be happy with a woman?”
“I don’t have to be happy. I need to make sure this country will not evoke a war.” He sighed.
A grin covered the younger’s face.
He raised from his side, sitting on all fours to crawl towards Jonghyun’s side.
“So you can be happy without this?” he whispers with a hoarse voice. He let himself lie down on his side beside the prince, extending all his limbs to prison the high born into a suffocating warm embrace.
Jonghyun swallowed like there was a stone trapped in his throat. He didn’t know if he gave somehow a reason for the younger to do this, or if he actually liked it. But all he could say on the matter was that the hotness radiating from his body and the light sent he carried around him, felt amazing.
A bit awkward he tried to let his arms escape from the narrow space between them, using them to lay them over the younger’s nape of his hips and pulled him somewhat closer.
He actually really enjoyed this intimacy.
“I will never try to steal your lips, or anything else. But let me please have the favor of being close to you.” Kibum mumbled, his head hidden under his, feeling his lips move against his neck as he spoke.
“Please be close to me.” Jonghyun said as he let his head rest on the short haired one. Kibum reacted on those words by pulling himself even closer to the warm body covered in the most beautiful fabrics.
This time, Jonghyun allowed himself to feel the loud beating of his heart.
A/N:
So, I finally found a theme that I liked and is able to let you read without straining your eyes, and figured out how LJ works.
I hope you all liked these chapters, and will like the ones in the future <3
Posting on LJ makes me always a bit anxious, since only the creme de la creme of Fanfiction is found here, so please be nice to me >w<
Please leave a comment, it would make me really happy c:
Thank you for reading <3