Ursine Night, or What Bears Will, by Shakes-bear
Once upon a time, in the faraway land of Bearlyria lived the Duke Bearsino. He had everything a he-bear could possibly want, but for the affections of Princess Bearlivia, who was just crowned Queen of Bearlyria following the death of her father, the King, and her brother, the Prince.
Meanwhile, in the Arctic lived the twins, the lovely Bearola and the handsome Sebearstian. Because of human pollution, one day the ground of their home melted, and they got separated and carried off to sea.
Bearola managed to land on the shores of Bearlyria, but was afraid that Sebearstian had drowned. She had never felt so alone. She disguised herself as a he-bear named Cesaribear and applied to be Duke Bearsino's servant, for Bearola sang well, and was well-versed in a number of languages, including Polar, Kodiak, Grizzly, Panda, and Teddy. Bearsino sent Cesaribear to woo Bearlivia on his behalf, but alas! Bearola fell in love for the first time in her life, with Duke Bearsino.
Nevertheless, Bearola set out to do her job. She arrived, disguised as Cesaribear, to Queen Bearlivia's palace. "Queen Bearlivia," said Bearola, "You are very beautiful, but you're not being very nice. Why won't you take Duke Bearsino to be your Prince Consort?"
"Bearsino?" scoffed Bearlivia. "Oh, pooh! But you're very handsome and well-spoken and charming. Why don't you become my Prince Consort?" She moved closer to Bearola, who could smell that Bearlivia was in heat. Bearola ran off screaming. Bearlivia thought she wasn't pretty enough, and was very sad.
Meanwhile, Sebearstian had also washed up on the outskirts of Bearlyria, where he met old Mama Beartonia. "You look very famished, Sebearstian. You need food." Mama Beartonia gave him nuts and berries and honey and salmon, and Sebearstian had never tasted anything so delicious in his life.
"Thank you for the food, Mama Beartonia. But you see, I've lost my sister, and I believe she may still be alive. I am going to look for her."
Mama Beartonia wished him luck and gave him some more nuts for his journey. Sebearstian stumbled across Bearlivia's palace.
Bearlivia couldn't believe her luck. Cesaribear had decided he liked her after all! "Cesaribear, cesaribear! You'll be my prince consort after all!"
Sebearstian was so entranced by Queen Bearlivia's beauty that he forgot to tell her that his name was not Cesaribear.
Duke Bearsino was angry that the Queen had fallen in love with his servant instead of him. He dragged Bearola to Bearlivia's palace while Sebearstian was off collecting honey for his new wife.
"Cesaribear, my husband, why are you with Duke Bearsino?"
"What do you mean, you're her husband, Cesaribear?" roared Bearsino. But just as Bearsino was about to maul Bearola, Sebearstian came back with honey.
"Oh, Ursa Major!" cried Bearlivia. "I have two Prince Consorts!"
"I never had a brother, but I had a sister named Bearola. We were separated and I thought she drowned at sea, after human pollution melted the polar ice caps. You look like she would if she were a he-bear," said Sebearstian.
"But I'm not a he-bear," said Bearola. "My name is Bearola, and I've fallen in love with you, Bearsino. I wish to be your Duchess."
"Oh wonderful," replied the Duke. "I was starting to fall in love with you too. Thank the stars that you really are a she-bear!"
Bearsino and Bearola lived happily ever after. Bearlivia eventually learned Sebearstian's real name, and they too lived happily ever after.
THE END
Meanwhile, in the Arctic lived the twins, the lovely Bearola and the handsome Sebearstian. Because of human pollution, one day the ground of their home melted, and they got separated and carried off to sea.
Bearola managed to land on the shores of Bearlyria, but was afraid that Sebearstian had drowned. She had never felt so alone. She disguised herself as a he-bear named Cesaribear and applied to be Duke Bearsino's servant, for Bearola sang well, and was well-versed in a number of languages, including Polar, Kodiak, Grizzly, Panda, and Teddy. Bearsino sent Cesaribear to woo Bearlivia on his behalf, but alas! Bearola fell in love for the first time in her life, with Duke Bearsino.
Nevertheless, Bearola set out to do her job. She arrived, disguised as Cesaribear, to Queen Bearlivia's palace. "Queen Bearlivia," said Bearola, "You are very beautiful, but you're not being very nice. Why won't you take Duke Bearsino to be your Prince Consort?"
"Bearsino?" scoffed Bearlivia. "Oh, pooh! But you're very handsome and well-spoken and charming. Why don't you become my Prince Consort?" She moved closer to Bearola, who could smell that Bearlivia was in heat. Bearola ran off screaming. Bearlivia thought she wasn't pretty enough, and was very sad.
Meanwhile, Sebearstian had also washed up on the outskirts of Bearlyria, where he met old Mama Beartonia. "You look very famished, Sebearstian. You need food." Mama Beartonia gave him nuts and berries and honey and salmon, and Sebearstian had never tasted anything so delicious in his life.
"Thank you for the food, Mama Beartonia. But you see, I've lost my sister, and I believe she may still be alive. I am going to look for her."
Mama Beartonia wished him luck and gave him some more nuts for his journey. Sebearstian stumbled across Bearlivia's palace.
Bearlivia couldn't believe her luck. Cesaribear had decided he liked her after all! "Cesaribear, cesaribear! You'll be my prince consort after all!"
Sebearstian was so entranced by Queen Bearlivia's beauty that he forgot to tell her that his name was not Cesaribear.
Duke Bearsino was angry that the Queen had fallen in love with his servant instead of him. He dragged Bearola to Bearlivia's palace while Sebearstian was off collecting honey for his new wife.
"Cesaribear, my husband, why are you with Duke Bearsino?"
"What do you mean, you're her husband, Cesaribear?" roared Bearsino. But just as Bearsino was about to maul Bearola, Sebearstian came back with honey.
"Oh, Ursa Major!" cried Bearlivia. "I have two Prince Consorts!"
"I never had a brother, but I had a sister named Bearola. We were separated and I thought she drowned at sea, after human pollution melted the polar ice caps. You look like she would if she were a he-bear," said Sebearstian.
"But I'm not a he-bear," said Bearola. "My name is Bearola, and I've fallen in love with you, Bearsino. I wish to be your Duchess."
"Oh wonderful," replied the Duke. "I was starting to fall in love with you too. Thank the stars that you really are a she-bear!"
Bearsino and Bearola lived happily ever after. Bearlivia eventually learned Sebearstian's real name, and they too lived happily ever after.
THE END