I am my own worse enemy
Life is such a horrible catch-22.
I absolutely HATE this new job i have. They treat their employees like retarded 4 year olds. We're not allowed to go to the restroom without permission nor are we allowed to have bottle water with us. Seriously, if you have to use the bathroom or if you're thirsty you have to send a message to the shift manager (it's a telephone/computer job) and wait for permission. There is nothing more dehumanizing than sitting there staring at your computer screen for 5 minutes, tongue parched and lips burning, waiting to be allowed to hydrate yourself--one of the most basic, fundamental to your health, biological functions. If you aren't on a call all you can do is sit there and stare at your computer or the wall. You aren't allowed to have books, crosswords, newspapers, etc. I mean, I guess if they allowed their employees to read it might encourage intelligence and resistance to their ridiculous rules! They don't give you breaks. You only get a 20 minute lunch break, on the clock only if you stay on the premises. If you leave the premises you have to clock out and still only have 20 minutes. If you want a "break" you have to ask to go to the restroom and hope they don't say anything about being gone for more than 2 minutes (oh yeah, they only give you 2 minutes to go to the bathroom). If you want a cigarette break you have to clock out!
Oh! And they expect me to start selling THIS! That's right ladies and gentlemen, a bedside gun rack to protect you and your family (btw, not intended for use in homes with children? contradiction much?).
And I can't seem to find another damn job. Everyone i fax my resume to never calls. Or i have to be available from 9am-5pm, which i won't be because I'm in college trying to better myself. Or I'll get less that 20 hours per week on $6/hr pay. I'm in college completely supporting myself and all i want is a job that accommodates to my school schedule and will give me enough hours to continue to pay my bills. But no, what happens? They lie to me! I was told the position was filled, yet the ad is very plainly STILL running well after the fact. Have the balls to tell me I'm not qualified, or you don't like the way I look, or whatever's honest, I'll understand. I'm a fucking adult after all! Sometimes i feel like i need to quit school just so I can get a 9 to 5 job to pay bills.
I hate my job. I hate my apartment. I'm broke, and I'm hopelessly depressed. Someone please punch me in the face really really really hard so I can put my mind on something else.