(no subject)
Note to self: (Thinking before I go to bed)
Well, another day..that I am still fat..I thought I was going to change myself?? I thought I was going to starve for beauty?? Didnt you want to be thin??? Isnt this what you wanted? They WHY dont you have it..why has it taken you three years to make a long lasting impact? You binge..you purge..you barely eat, and still purge..sometimes you dont even eat at all..in sometimes you cant stop eating..IM sick of this..I just want what I cant have..since I can remember I have struggles with my weight. but I thought this time was going to be different..I still think its going to be different...but this doesnt make sense, everything makes you fat. everything. jsut dont eat..just keep your fucking mouth shut L. I dont get you..you dont seem to improve..you cant be good all week, eat less than 600 cals a day, then get drunk all weekend and fuck EVERYTHING UP WITH 4 a.m. trips to Mcdonalds. Your only making yourself fuckking fat, and ugly..look around you, see all those pretty girls with the attention? they are thin..they are beautiful..they look good in their skirts and tank tops, then look good in their jeans, high heels, tight shirts, and you? you look fat, as if you had been eating all day..bloated all the time..never looking good in clothes, crying when you cant fit into your jeans, remember those jeans you could wear over the summer? the ones with the cute pockets on the butt, and your ass looked good..looked good THEN, now look at you..ugh..i Hate THIS..I need help..I need to keep on track..ITS NOW OR NEVER..its now or NEVER..thats it. L, this is your last chance..if you cant drop 10 pounds in the next month then just fucking stay fat the rest of your life..your never gunna lose it eating the way you do..you know this. then DO IT. Yah yah, I know this...then I'll do it. no more giving in...no more giving in to anything..drunk or not..not going to do it..not going to eat..keep image of body in mind..think of back fat..think of side fat..think of all the fat on your body and how the other girls will look in their bikini compared to you..dont you want to look good in your bikini this year?? DONT YOU WANT TO BE THE SKINNY ONE THIS YEAR?? YES..omg yes I DO...then DO IT...YOU HAVE TO..
I KNOW..I HAVE TO..I have NO CHOICE..this is MY TIME...MY FUCKING TIME...I can do this..I can do this...nothing will stop you(fat,food) from my dream of skin and bones..nothing..this will happen for me..
I will.
WiNk;
L.
Well, another day..that I am still fat..I thought I was going to change myself?? I thought I was going to starve for beauty?? Didnt you want to be thin??? Isnt this what you wanted? They WHY dont you have it..why has it taken you three years to make a long lasting impact? You binge..you purge..you barely eat, and still purge..sometimes you dont even eat at all..in sometimes you cant stop eating..IM sick of this..I just want what I cant have..since I can remember I have struggles with my weight. but I thought this time was going to be different..I still think its going to be different...but this doesnt make sense, everything makes you fat. everything. jsut dont eat..just keep your fucking mouth shut L. I dont get you..you dont seem to improve..you cant be good all week, eat less than 600 cals a day, then get drunk all weekend and fuck EVERYTHING UP WITH 4 a.m. trips to Mcdonalds. Your only making yourself fuckking fat, and ugly..look around you, see all those pretty girls with the attention? they are thin..they are beautiful..they look good in their skirts and tank tops, then look good in their jeans, high heels, tight shirts, and you? you look fat, as if you had been eating all day..bloated all the time..never looking good in clothes, crying when you cant fit into your jeans, remember those jeans you could wear over the summer? the ones with the cute pockets on the butt, and your ass looked good..looked good THEN, now look at you..ugh..i Hate THIS..I need help..I need to keep on track..ITS NOW OR NEVER..its now or NEVER..thats it. L, this is your last chance..if you cant drop 10 pounds in the next month then just fucking stay fat the rest of your life..your never gunna lose it eating the way you do..you know this. then DO IT. Yah yah, I know this...then I'll do it. no more giving in...no more giving in to anything..drunk or not..not going to do it..not going to eat..keep image of body in mind..think of back fat..think of side fat..think of all the fat on your body and how the other girls will look in their bikini compared to you..dont you want to look good in your bikini this year?? DONT YOU WANT TO BE THE SKINNY ONE THIS YEAR?? YES..omg yes I DO...then DO IT...YOU HAVE TO..
I KNOW..I HAVE TO..I have NO CHOICE..this is MY TIME...MY FUCKING TIME...I can do this..I can do this...nothing will stop you(fat,food) from my dream of skin and bones..nothing..this will happen for me..
I will.
WiNk;
L.